There has been a political awakening in America. Once an unwitting victim of liberal illusiveness, the American populace has finally discovered what they believed to be reality, isn’t reality after all. They’ve been living in the Liberal Matrix.

The LR World, or Liberal Reality, is where evil is good, and good is evil; where “ruthless” and “bloodthirsty” are assigned to Ken Starr and Ann Coulter, not to Castro and Hussein; where Christianity is reviled and Marxism embraced; where Islam and terrorists “need to be understood;” where Bill Clinton is Lord and Savior while Republicans are on the peg underneath Vlad the Impaler.

But the Byzantine rhetoric and specious bromides that once guarded liberalism has been breached. The people have seen the true face of Medusa, and it petrified them.

The liberal intelligentsia (using that term as loosely as it possibly can be used) have befuddledly rationalized their declining obfuscation of the American people on a far- reaching Right Wing Media Conspiracy. This began, of course, as The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy diligently unearthed by Hillary Clinton. (Thankfully, it's still Republicans who are the Great Satan; otherwise the left would have to turn back to Hillary for another ingenius gem like "vast right wing conspiracy.") This current anti-left cabal includes, The New York and LA Times, the Washington Post, network news and Time magazine, which are all notorious far-right propagandists for the Bush Administration. This conservative collusion is to blame for Liberal Talk Radio titanically tanking. It’s widely known NPR is owned and run by the White House. And it's common knowledge that Rush Limbaugh, Mike Gallagher, Laura Ingraham, and Sean Hannity go door to door each day and physically force their millions of listeners to listen to them; the same way Republicans are known to go door to door stealing prescription drugs from the elderly, taking school books from inner city kids, and killing Black people.

The target-du jour of liberal ire is the alleged epicenter of the vast-reaching conservative conspiracy, the Fox News Channel. Because FNC reports what is actually happening, not promulgating liberal deceptions and delusions, the channel must then be getting their marching orders from Karl Rove. It is a logical leap. After all, everyone knows Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch have their main offices in the White House. (I think they may even live there, in one of the rooms the Clintons use to rent as if it were a time-share.)

Not that rules, laws or empirical evidence mean anything to liberals, but it’s indisputable that FNC employs equal numbers of liberal contributors and guests. (On “The O’Reilly Factor,” the liberal to conservative ratio is even higher.) But the Democrats, ever the consummate malcontents, say the “right” liberal voices aren’t being heard: “Alan Colmes is too patriotic;” “Zell Miller is too Republican;” “Ted Kennedy scares everyone except gay, Bible-burning cross dressers.” If your message weren’t anti-America, anti-Christ, anti- family, anti-merit, anti-military and anti- capitalism, it wouldn’t matter who you sent out to the talk shows. You wouldn’t instead have to deploy professional semanticists to distract the American people from what you really stand for (which is hard since you have no core beliefs and your message changes week to week in accordance to the polling of your disparate base.) The military have “shock and awe.” The liberals have “bait and switch.”

And America finally figured this out.

The communist liberal media no longer can propagate their starry-eyed wish of a Marxist America run by Islamic lesbians. No longer can they pollute their reporting with their anti-Bush bile. The good ol’ days of just making news up is over too.

America now knows the truth. And the liberals did it for us. Who needs Keanu Reeves when you have CNN and Jayson Blair?

when al franken spews at no cost, the fatsomentary trys to swing an election and abu graib lionizes sodamn, then the feminist-liebrels need cleaner toilets.

Now that Farenheit 911 has been released and people realize they aren't the only ones who feel that the right wing, FOX et. al. are full of shit, the losers (come November, should have been November 2000), are resorting to desperation tactics.

Give it up and go to a country where your one-sided vision of American society will be appreciated, like say, China. I know y'all hate communists, but you sound more and more like the bourgeois party of the People's Republic in your sorry attempts to squash dissent in the U.S.

Just yesterday, I ran into the crazies in the Marxist Lesbian Muslim Avengers. They pelted me with falafel croquettes and gave me leaflets about Islamic Dialectics and Feminist Materialist Theology.

I deflected their critique, which I'd never heard of before, with a defense of secularism and anti-nationalism and even bits of queer theory (I think). Their falafel nuggets glanced off my ideological shield, and fragments ricocheted toward a clot of Bush/Cheney supporters protesting Fahrenheit 9/11, spraying them with blinding bits of ground chick peas.

"What are these things," cried out one ethnically indeterminate reactionary, baffled by the "exotic" food. "I've never seen anything like this before, they're so spicy," said an elderly Anglo/Saxon supporter of the Bush cabal.

"Don't worry, it's not going to harm us. This is food eaten around the world by both Muslims and Jews, and is available in the Holy Land," explained a rabid zionist (suspected JDL) at the counter protest.

The whites and the Semitic man sensed a cloud of tension arise in their midst, like an onion fart that nobody admits to smelling, or releasing.

Give it up and go to a country where your one-sided vision of American society will be appreciated, like say, China. I know y'all hate communists, but you sound more and more like the bourgeois party of the People's Republic in your sorry attempts to squash dissent in the U.S.

One-sided vision? Doesn't the left own CNN, CBS, MSNBC, ABC and "Air (fart) America."

Why is the lone and lowly FOX News doing so well? Republican fluoride in the water supply. Yeah, that's it.

But it doesn't explain how the right can't stop the leftist subversion of the school system, even and especially in the universities. I smell Jewish Bolshevism.

We don't need to 'squash' your ghey dissent. We simply report lefty idiocy and let the fools drown themselves.

And to the other joker, I bet you can actually find more than one "leftist marxist lesbo-muslim" class being taught in the universities.

Air America, Pacifica, thousands of little papers and tiny stations, several national magazines like The Nation and Z Magazine, and a zillion websites.

What does the Right own? A lot more. The far right Moonies own the Washinton Times and UPI. There's Commentary, the National Review, the so-called liberal New Republic (pro war suckas), a lot of local newspapers, and a zillion websites. You also get the PR industry, which is a right-wing machine to produce spin media.

Then there's the so-called "middle", where most of the big media sit. They tend to pander to the right more than the left, because of marketing demographics. Hence, you get Roger Ailes' Fox News, CNBC, GOP consultant, all over the fucking political map. But, watch when the Right fucks up, and they jump ship and support Kerry, a Democrat a few steps to the left of Nixon.

The Right moderate strategy is "bile and circuses". Support wars with angry rhetoric, and show tits whenever possible. Then blame the "liberal media" for showing the tits. It's a lousy bullying tactic, to claim to have nothing, when you own the system, and control the message.

The Left moderate strategy is "let's play nice" and sucking up to parents who want to keep sex off the air, and sucking up to business interests (aka, the business news rather than a labor news segment). In exchange, they get to dabble in a little identity politics, particularly to give gay people some (somewhat) improved media exposure. (let's not call it portrayal -- they just get stereotyped like any other minority.)

Liberals also get to dominate in the standup comedian segment of the market. That's something. All they have is Dennis Miller, a smarmy brainiac who wasn't very funny when he took over Weekend Update on SNL years ago, and has become less so over time. I don't think Rush Limbaugh counts as a comedian.

Ok, they have PJ O'Rourke too, and he's a lot funnier than Miller or Rush. And we have Al Franken and Michael Moore, who I don't think of as *that* funny. That's a wash there.

However, we do have Margaret Cho, who actually *is* a stereotype of a liberal, and is funny, and Bill Maher, who isn't even a liberal, sides with us.