HOW TO QUALIFY AS A LIBERAL"

1. You must believe that, in the US, the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

2. You must believe that the same teacher who cannot teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

3. You must believe that guns in the hands of law abiding Americans are more of a threat, than US nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese & North Koreans.

4. You must believe that there were no "arts" before federal funding.

5. You must believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical & documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUVs.

6. You must believe that welfare has not created generations of fatherless families.

7. You must be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

8. You must believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You must believe that hunters do not care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You must believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You must believe that the military start wars, not corrupt politicians.

12. You must believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the US Constitution, and the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the US Constitution.

13. You must believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You must believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You must believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas are not.

16. You must believe that Hillary Clinton is quite normal and really a very nice person.

17. You must believe that the only reason socialism has not worked anywhere in this world is because the right people have not been in charge.

18. You must believe conservatives telling the truth belonged in jail, but a liar and sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You must believe that pornography should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You must believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interests of the United States.

21. You must believe that this letter is part of a vast right wing conspiracy.

Oh how I only wish there was one...

Funny! Funny! Funny!

and true!

I let Shaun Hannity do my thinking for me.

Here is the doctrine of the right wing radio/tv talk show hosts: we say what our right wing corporate employers want us to say. Otherwise, we'll get canned.

...too close to home, huh, Meyer?

Man...it's no wonder most liberals are insane, holding so many self-contradictory beliefs in their pointly little heads all the time.

Sunday's San Francisco Chronicle contained an obnoxious anti-American rant by one Purvi Patel, who was offended by an official ceremony she attended recently. The event "reinforced a growing resentment I felt toward the United States," she writes. "The American government, in pursuit of an illegal war and a post-9/11 assault on civil liberties, seemed more a police state than a democracy."

Purvi Patel considered "walking out," that's how put off she was. But in the end she stayed and completed the ceremony--namely, her swearing in as a U.S. citizen.

So Purvi thinks America is just awful--but not so awful that she doesn't want to be an American.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2003/06/22/IN303620.DTL

I prefer to have the main premise of my arguments state "You're either with us or against us".

I dont really have any knowledge of American history or the trials and tribulations that the Founding Fathers had to go through to establish Freedom and democracy.

I havent read the Constitution or The Bill of Rights in quite some time

I've never been able to get through the Federalist Papers, In fact I've never heard of it.

All I like to do is stir up mindless conjecture and follow my government like the Nazis followed thiers.

"I dont really have any knowledge of American history or the trials and tribulations that the Founding Fathers had to go through to establish Freedom and democracy. I havent read the Constitution or The Bill of Rights in quite some time. I've never been able to get through the Federalist Papers, In fact I've never heard of it. All I like to do is stir up mindless conjecture and follow my government like the Nazis followed thiers."

Us, too. It's the core of our existance.

One of the things I recall most about my activist roomate at Cal was how he and all his activist friends worshiped every word spoken and written by Noam Chomsky like he was the head of a cult.

...this alleged "erosion of basic civil liberties".

But haven't seen any evidence.

Anybody got any? Know of anyone who's been locked up for speaking their mind? Been disappeared? Newspapers shut down? Radio stations taken off the air?

Yeah. Thought not.

Oh, and as for Ms. Patel's attitude: Strip her newly-minted citizenship. Send her back to wherever she came from. Never ever ever issue her another visa. And tell the whole world why.

Maybe Ms. Patel thought she better get sworn in as a citizen or she would be picked up by Ascroft's brownshirts and put in a cage somewhere. Who could blame her? I' m sure the cermony was sappy, self-congratulatory, and xenophobic.

I think we should exterminate all foriegners.

If you're going to fake me, at least learn to spell better.

Oh, Meyer, since you're such an expert on Ashcroft's Brown Shirts, perhaps you can answer the questions I asked above:

Do you know of anyone who's been locked up for speaking their mind? Been disappeared? Newspapers shut down? Radio stations taken off the air?

Ive seen protesters in the streets beaten and shot with rubber bullets for speaking in public against thier government.

Seen Arab americans dissapear when reporting to routine INS meetings.

Seen Radio Free Berkeley shut down for operating without a permit from Colin powell son (fcc chief).

But thats to the Fcc most are owned by huge corporations that are in the back pockets of the governments whims (Fox news)(MS nbc).

ps

I love men.

Here's an example of what I mean by the left's detachment from reality. Robert Scheer, a columnist for Salon and the Los Angeles Times, begins a column with the following paragraph:

There was a time when the sickness of the political far left could best be defined by the rationale that the ends justified the means. Happily, support for revolutionary regimes claiming to advance the interests of their people through atrocious acts is now seen as an evil dead end by most on the left. Immoral and undemocratic means lead inevitably to immoral and undemocratic ends.

http://salon.com/opinion/scheer/2003/06/25/machiavelli/index_np.html

Would that it were true--but the rest of the column turns out to be a predictable brief AGAINST the liberation of Iraq from one of those "revolutionary regimes claiming to advance the interests of their people through atrocious acts."

Meanwhile, anti-American Columbia prof Edward Said, in a column mostly devoted to lauding terror advocate and accident victim Rachel Corrie, offers this defense of Saddam:

However else one blames Saddam Hussein as a vicious tyrant, which he was, he had provided the people of Iraq with the best infrastructure of services like water, electricity, health, and education of any Arab country. None of this is any longer in place.

http://www.counterpunch.org/said06232003.html

Now there's a rallying cry for the 21st-century left: "At least he made the trains run on time."

"At least he made the trains run on time."

That was Mussolini, you idiot.

"However else one blames Saddam Hussein as a vicious tyrant, which he was, he had provided the people of Iraq with the best infrastructure of services like water, electricity, health, and education of any Arab country. None of this is any longer in place."

If you see trains mentioned anywhere in that statement, kindly go to the nearest psychiatric ward and check yourself in.

Pay no attention to my above temper tantrum. I couldn't connect leggos, much less political parallels.

...has had so much trouble getting utilities back in service is because Saddam didn't keep them up. He spent money on palaces, instead. Electricity in Baghdad was only for only 5 hours a day. To blame America for the lack of services is ludicrous.

I spent 15 months in Oman. We had only one power outage, and no water outages. Health care was excellent, and all Omanis were provided with an education. The Sultan also forced his people to get jobs, too; no more of this sitting around drinking tea ad eating dates all day. He wants his people to contribute to the world, instead of leaching off it.

Anti-American Columbia prof Edward Said missed an opportunity to shut up.

Masirah Island, off the east coast of Oman.

I am quite fond of fascist theocracies.

I love and speak highly of places where the Sultan can

negate any election he wishes.

Oh, speaking of elections, this voting structure is comprised on 200000 "assigned voters".

Sounds like a great place.

No, I wasn't stationed on Masirah, but I my duties took me there several times. Lovely place; rescued a beached stingray. Lots of beautiful shells.

The Sultan is not as bad a guy as you'd like everyone to think. He gave some land in Muscat for the construction of a Protestant and Catholic church. Know of any other Muslim ruler who would do that? Didn't think so.

So, coward, if you're going to spout ridiculous nonsense, at least do it under your own handle.

i wanna help

I like to masturbate to photos of engorged donkey dicks.