"His philosophy is the cans

tied on the back

of a shotgun wedding car."

"Once you have been the great hitter

of love

it's time to become the great

coach of love."

"I ran for first Godhood last week and lost so now I'm playing

third."

"I was a victim of exhaustion from examining my conscience."

"We cannot rest. We have more chimneys to go down."

"The Pope is Catholic. Jesus is beyond the division of sect."

"The mandate bird flies away so quickly after an election. It is

not that the public is fickle but that the bird was mythical."

"Love your enemies. You never really know what your friends think

of you."

"You have enfired my love. You can never fire my love."

"They may someday believe in God

if now they can believe

in the believers in God."

"I know one man who was so divided about whether to go

to Vietnam.. or to be a conscientious objector.. he

became a schizophrenic.. He was so split on this issue that

when he died they carved his name on the Vietnam War Memorial

twice.."

"We have a friend who generates heat by rubbing his cold heart against his dry brain."

"Greater love hath no man than to live his life for his friend."

"I read that the

antiChrist is distance."

"The door to heaven and hell are the same door."

"I'd get out of bed and get my wife coffee

but I don't want Colombo to see me naked."

"They have now discovered that the Messiah has come again..

they can't release the news til he gives up smoking."

"Humor makes connections where logic fails."

"At the North Pole, all directions are south. Take 1 step

in any direction and the world of East, West, North and South

reappears. When stuck in indecision, take 1 step in any direction."

"Women have been on pedestals, men on thrones."

"If you break Lizzie Borden's crime into a number of tiny bits,

no piece would be big enough to convict her of a crime, said

Clarence Darrow."

"Lady Conductor......She raised her baton....and Beethoven answered

"You do not need to believe you are Christ

to act like Him."

"That woman has transcended duality. All are one... until an attractive

woman walks into the room."

"My wife and I are one. To each other we chirp. To humans

we talk philosophy."

"My wife organized the Jewish Women's Caucus boycott of Moses..

wait.. ! I am receiving a correction !

My wife was the VERY LAST woman to join the Jewish Women's

Caucus boycott of Moses!"

"Dodging winks is the game of

a faithful man."

"My mother's heart is so big it has its own zip code."

"I went to school every day with my John Glenn astronaut lunchbox

and inside it was wrapped my mother's love."

"The Holy Spirit is here.

He's playing third base."

"It's best to wait until the other guy draws because he won't."

"I'd rather be with Charles Manson an hour after he won the lottery

than with Albert Schweitzer during a bout of diarrhea."

"I used to think my only choices were to be a hero going to hell or a chicken going to hell. Now I realize a loving God could never create anything but perfection out of His perfection. Nor

does God desire one jot of unnecessary suffering."

"I say 'man' as downbeat for the rhythm of a sentence."

"When I was younger I thought that if prayer worked the

CIA would have nuclear prayer jammers around the world."

"The nihilism I was taught in

philosophy class nearly

destroyed me."

"John Connally comes out onto his estate lawn in pajamas

surveying the forced auction of his possessions and asks if anyone

has a cup of coffee."

"The faces of starving children won't leave my mind... like uranium waste in a dumpsite."

"Sometimes it is not

necessary..

the problem to solve.

Changing angle of

vision...

the problem dissolves."

"Don't hold onto

yesterday's manna... today's is better."

"As the dam separates the river from itself, so does rebellion separate us from God."

"Satan is the reverse mirror image of Jesus."

"When I was little the minister in our church said we were all

sinners and I thought Not my Uncle Bill."

"I prefer veni and vici to VD."

"Answers are evil. I try to remain in the hub of all possibility."

"Many have screwed the truth, but few

have called her the next day."

"God made blacks to find out which whites were going to hell.

He made universities as a place where smart people need

not tell the truth."

"The only moment of victory for the champion runner is the precise second he crosses the finish line, when most in the stands could

beat him."

"It's time we declared love on Muslim countries."

"Do not donut."

"My father's will was so powerful it

was a police escort into reality."



"Hell...is the no smoking section of heaven."



"I was a tv monitor for the NSA. I was supposed to report any sudden weight changes in Mother Angelica."



-John Clifford Lehman Jr- 1955 to 1991.

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