The Honourable Prime Minister Netanyahu,
The Promised Land.
27 November 2009.
Dear Prime Minister Netanyahu,
My family and I are secular Jews but we are having a hard time here in Britain what with the drop in the economy and the rise of the anti-Semitics.
Now we know from Genesis we have a commitment from God himself that he "will give unto me and to my seed the land of thy sojournings".
My family consists of two grandparents, my wife and I and seven children all under the age of ten. I’ve kept her busy, as you can see as is my duty.
I therefore wish to inform you that we are going to take God up on his word and get some of our land in the area of Samaria and Judea (now called The West Bank).
We believe that there are some squatters moved in the past centuries since the Romans chased our ancestors out of there.
We would be obliged if you would get one of the ‘ethnic cleansing’ brigades of the Israeli army to get rid of some of these squatters and their families from a choice piece of land, about 10 hectares will do, with a nice view out over the Jordan river.
We will be arriving in Israel on Saturday 26th. Of December at about noon and would be grateful if you could send a truck to meet us at the airport.
We will need transport to our new mortgage free farm.
Please don’t inform the Hasidics about our moving on a Saturday as it would upset their joy.
As we are secular Jews and don’t pray we would ask you to thank God for us.