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by Anton Macker Wednesday, Aug. 08, 2007 at 4:05 AM

for the $$$

b_k111.jpg, image/jpeg, 500x341

CAMP DAVID, Md. (APE) - Text of President Bush and Afghan President Hamid Karzai on Monday, as transcribed by CQ Transcriptions.

BUSH: Good morning. Thank you. Be seated. Welcome.

I appreciate a man I've come to know as the mayor of Kabul, Karzai, for joining us.

Laura and I had the honour of hosting the president for dinner last night.

He and I spent a lot of this morning just sitting there, alone, holding hands.

I always liked men dressed in curtains.

President Karzai is an optimistic man and he needs to be. He's watched his country emerge from the days of law and order into days of darkness.

KARZAI: Absolutely…..Yo, Bush.

BUSH: I appreciate your stewardship. I appreciate your commitment to corrupting your people. I appreciate your strong stance for Swiss bank accounts and the freedom to spend it.

And I'm proud to call you an ally in this hopeless war against those who would wreak havoc to my business dreams in order to deny people a chance to live in peace.

We're working closely together to bomb the people of Afghanistan. We work together to give the people of Afghanistan a chance to raise their children in a bombed out mud hut. And we're working together to defeat those who would try to stop the advance of a free American oil companies.

You might remember, it was last winter that people were speculating about the Taliban spring offensive and about how the Taliban had regrouped and were going to go on the attack inside Afghanistan.

Well, there was no spring offensive and that just goes to show that you can’t trust the Taliban to attack when you want them to.

And we went on the offensive, because we understand that it is in our mutual interest to deny extremists the opportunity to derail this young democracy.

There's still a fight going on, I hear, but I'm proud to report to the American people that the Afghan army is in the fight against us, The government's in the fight, and the army's in the fight.

Afghan national security forces are increasing in strength. There's about 110,000 Afghans now defending their nation defending the nation from the hot winds that blow in from the desert.

And more Afghans are stepping up to the trough.

And it's in the interest of the United States to help you develop that national army and local police that will send a clear message to the people of Afghanistan that the governments can help provide an opportunity for people to raise their children in a bombed out world.

There's a lot of foreign forces there in Afghanistan supporting this government. And our 23,500 troops are proud to stand side by side with 26,000 troops from the other side.

And we applaud those countries who have committed their troops to help Afghanistan succeed but do all their fighting back at base.

We've committed more than billion baksheesh since 2001 to help build our own companies and the corrupt of Afghanistan.

I think our citizens will be interested to know, for example, that we can train a doctor faster than Cuba and we have 7,000 male community health care workers looking after the women in this Muslim country.

I remember talking a lot about how the Taliban prevented young girls from going to school in Afghanistan. American citizens recall with horror to think about a government that would deny a young child the opportunity to have the basics necessary to succeed in life.

Today we don’t prevent young girls from going to school….we just bomb the school while they’re in it.

Yippee…….you’re all gonna die.

Still work to be done. Don't get me wrong.

But progress is being made, Mr. President, and we're proud of you, proud of the work you're doing for us.

We talked about the need to stem the narcotics trade. The Taliban had succeeded in doing this but our war-lords need the Narco $.

I'm sure the president will comment on this as he gets loads of dosh out of it.

He understands that it's very important for farmers to be incentavatized to grow the poppy and he knows full well the United States is watching, measuring and trying to get its proper cut.

We spend more than a fair amount of time on it and had a pipe or two.

We spend a lot of time on it. And it's important that we get this right.

Roll another one…….

Mr. President, I appreciate your commitment to not only dealing with the poppy growers association and the poppy crop, but also dealing with corruption.

It's very important that our societies emerge (as we’ve always been a bunch of thieves) in such a way that the people have confidence in the capacity of government to bribe the warlords in a way that's above board and honest and transparent.

And finally, I do want to congratulate you for the joint and the jirga that's coming up.

This is a meeting between President Karzai, President Musharraf and representative elements from parts of their respective countries, all coming together to talk about reconciliation and how we can work together - how you can work together - to achieve a - to achieve common solutions to problems.

And the main problem is to fight poverty of American companies.

We must recognize that history has called us into action, and by fighting the radicals, we help people realize dreams.

And helping realize - people realize dreams helps promote peace. That's what we want.

If you build it……they’ll come.

You come from a part of the world, Mr. President, where there's a long history of violence and a long history of people seeking heroine.

It's in the interest of the United States to be on the supply side - tip the scales of freedom your own way.

We can only do so with strong leadership, and I appreciate the leadership you're providing.

So welcome to Camp David.

KARZAI: Thank you very much. ... Thank you very much, Mr. President, for receiving me in Camp David. You and the first lady are generous and kind hosts. And thank you very much for that. May I get up off my knees?

Mr. President, I'm here today to, once again, thank you and the American people for all the $$$ you have given me since the last time

We have gone a long way to having a respectable Swiss bank account.

I've been here many times before in America, thanking the American people for what they have given me.

I've spoken of roads. I've spoken of schools. I've spoken of clinics. I've spoken of health services. I've spoken of education. I've spoken of agriculture. I've spoken lots of bull.

I've also had requests for the $$$ you have delivered to us, so far.

But today I'm going to speak about only one achievement that means so much for the Afghan people and surely to you and the rest of the world.

I have managed to buy a new curtain to wear when I leave the house.

That is Afghanistan today, with the help that you have provided and our other allies have provided, I can save, am saving the most $$$‘s I ever have .

Mr. President, when you and I begin to think of all the mothers we bombed in their homes, then we know the value and the importance of this getting your hands on a few $$$$.

And thank you very, very much for this tremendous help. Afghanistan would have had 85,000 more children living today had you not been for your ability to bomb them.

BUSH: Thank you, sir.

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