imc indymedia

Los Angeles Indymedia : Activist News

white themeblack themered themetheme help
About Us Contact Us Calendar Publish RSS
latest news
best of news




A-Infos Radio

Indymedia On Air

Dope-X-Resistance-LA List


IMC Network:

Original Cities africa: ambazonia canarias estrecho / madiaq kenya nigeria south africa canada: hamilton london, ontario maritimes montreal ontario ottawa quebec thunder bay vancouver victoria windsor winnipeg east asia: burma jakarta japan korea manila qc europe: abruzzo alacant andorra antwerpen armenia athens austria barcelona belarus belgium belgrade bristol brussels bulgaria calabria croatia cyprus emilia-romagna estrecho / madiaq euskal herria galiza germany grenoble hungary ireland istanbul italy la plana liege liguria lille linksunten lombardia london madrid malta marseille nantes napoli netherlands nice northern england norway oost-vlaanderen paris/Île-de-france patras piemonte poland portugal roma romania russia saint-petersburg scotland sverige switzerland thessaloniki torun toscana toulouse ukraine united kingdom valencia latin america: argentina bolivia chiapas chile chile sur cmi brasil colombia ecuador mexico peru puerto rico qollasuyu rosario santiago tijuana uruguay valparaiso venezuela venezuela oceania: adelaide aotearoa brisbane burma darwin jakarta manila melbourne perth qc sydney south asia: india mumbai united states: arizona arkansas asheville atlanta austin baltimore big muddy binghamton boston buffalo charlottesville chicago cleveland colorado columbus dc hawaii houston hudson mohawk kansas city la madison maine miami michigan milwaukee minneapolis/st. paul new hampshire new jersey new mexico new orleans north carolina north texas nyc oklahoma philadelphia pittsburgh portland richmond rochester rogue valley saint louis san diego san francisco san francisco bay area santa barbara santa cruz, ca sarasota seattle tampa bay tennessee urbana-champaign vermont western mass worcester west asia: armenia beirut israel palestine process: fbi/legal updates mailing lists process & imc docs tech volunteer projects: print radio satellite tv video regions: oceania united states topics: biotech

Surviving Cities africa: canada: quebec east asia: japan europe: athens barcelona belgium bristol brussels cyprus germany grenoble ireland istanbul lille linksunten nantes netherlands norway portugal united kingdom latin america: argentina cmi brasil rosario oceania: aotearoa united states: austin big muddy binghamton boston chicago columbus la michigan nyc portland rochester saint louis san diego san francisco bay area santa cruz, ca tennessee urbana-champaign worcester west asia: palestine process: fbi/legal updates process & imc docs projects: radio satellite tv
printable version - js reader version - view hidden posts - tags and related articles

Mankind's Salvation

by Sheepdog Friday, Aug. 18, 2006 at 6:31 PM

Think of a few seeds, the size of a pin head, being able to grow in a bucket of rocks, using only water and sunlight together with the minerals in the rock to produce for you fine, savory, tender quality steaks, nutritious celery, cabbage, lettuce and avocado all from the same fast growing tree? Table quality vegetables and delicious, tender, ready to fry, broil or bake, Vmeate steaks for your family and all from a hardy, beautiful, growing tree!

Mankind's Salvation...
index_triffid.jpg, image/jpeg, 150x250

An answer.

This result of genetic architecture, is a true miracle of advanced biomechanical assembly and a bright new hope for mankind in its current despair.

We here at Monsanto and BASF have teamed up to bring you the most remarkable product, ever created; culminating decades of R & D to bring to you a miracle.

It represents the newest greatest hope to the end to the scourges of mankind. Hunger, illness and insecurity.

Due to its beautiful and functional blossom, we have named it after the glorius nebula the Tridid nebula.


The mash from this product’s foliage can be used to feed live stock while the oils derived from its plentiful seed production can be used as fuel, lubricants and solvents.

We have engineered this unique organism to be able to exist in freezing extremes and drought conditions and together with the ability to feed from decaying organic matter that may be present, we gave it the ability to mobilize, seeking sources of water and nutrients while bestowing it the ability to better adapt to its immediate environment, as it can actually move on its own! Think of your Triffid crop clicking their roots as they slowly migrate to the more favorable areas of your property waving their glorious blossoms and graceful ribbon like leaves as they search for moisture or organic garbage that may be laying around, to utilize in order to serve your family. It has the ability to defend itself by adapting its morphology to compensate for physical challenges like insect perdition and animal foraging, producing, at the stimulas of repeated stress, naturally occuring insecticides, thorns or other physical adaptations to assist its survival as a food chest and friend.

There’s more. Due to the growing outbreaks of plagues and the need to respond to bio-terrorism, we are very proud to announce that we have incorporated a genetic package modeled from the human endo-reticular system that will produce antibodies, antibiotics, catabolic steroids and vitamins, to say nothing of mood enhancers, endorphins and MAO buffers, for that occasional touch of anxiety, confusion or depression, this constantly changing world can produce, directly from introduced personel organic samples which would be paired from a nominal health template receptor array to provide medications for a vast array of illnesses.

This all functional product actually recognizes your health and mood level while it automatically generates pharmaceuticals to bring the customer ‘back into the sunlight’ of heath and happiness.

You asked for an answer and we apologize that it took so long. Our research scientists were striving to achieve a final solution to the shrinking food and water supply of the entire human race.

Looking for a method of dealing with newer and more insidious menaces our bountiful society now beset upon by a darkening world of terrorism and faltering essencials, that we face from those who would hurt us as they covet what we still have and hold so dear.

We can offer freedom and security from these scourges for the very the little cost but extraordinary value of these genetically constructed wonders.

Speaking of security, do you ever worry about your children? Your marriage partners? Your pets and property?

These beautiful trees have still other uses.

You can unlock your doors and take the bars off of the windows.

Heck, you can pull down your security parameter and see your neighbors - to be able to waive to them again.

Forget the elaborate and expensive police protection patrols, electronic security systems, guard dogs and guard agencies. Let the view of your community come back with all the sights that were walled out before.

A few Triffids chained near the avenues of access like doors and windows usually keeps away unwanted visitors while instilling a forceful reminder about observing curfew to your teenage youth.

And their crosstalk, a mellow knocking of their hollow root heads, is a pleasant background sound.

Like delightful wind chimes, found to actually encourage restful sleep as they ‘talk’ to each other!

We really couldn’t think of anything else to load into this until now, unscalable but finally reached summit of scientific human progress.

So, here it is.

This is the one product we will place for the entire future of our companies and you, the human race.

We needed to make sure we could give the world something wonderful. And perfect. Please forgive the wait.

warning: read disclaimer about pruning before purchase.

Report this post as:

Listed below are the 10 latest comments of 3 posted about this article.
These comments are anonymously submitted by the website visitors.
thank's, you dickweeds Sheepdog Friday, Aug. 18, 2006 at 6:34 PM
retraction/clarifacation Sheepdog Friday, Aug. 18, 2006 at 6:37 PM
lemme scratch your tummy Ah, sheepdog Friday, Aug. 18, 2006 at 7:16 PM

Local News

Change Links September 2018 posted S02 10:22PM

More Scandals Rock Southern California Nuke Plant San Onofre A30 11:09PM

Site Outage Friday A30 3:49PM

Change Links August 2018 A14 1:56AM

Setback for Developer of SC Farm Land A12 11:09PM

More problems at Shutdown San Onofre Nuke J29 10:40PM

Change Links 2018 July posted J09 8:27PM

More Pix: "Families Belong Together," Pasadena J02 7:16PM

"Families Belong Together" March, Pasadena J02 7:08PM

Short Report on the Families Belong Together Protest in Los Angeles J30 11:26PM

Summer 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert! J11 6:58AM

Watch the Debate: Excluded Candidates for Governor of California M31 5:20AM

Change Links June 2018 posted M28 7:41AM

The Montrose Peace Vigil at 12 Years M22 8:01PM

Unity Archive Project M21 9:42AM

Dianne Feinstein's Promotion of War, Secret Animal Abuse, Military Profiteering, Censorshi M17 10:22PM

CA Senate Bill 1303 would require an independent coroner rather than being part of police M10 9:08PM

Three years after OC snitch scandal, no charges filed against sheriffs deputies M10 8:57PM

California police agencies violate Brown Act (open meetings) M02 8:31PM

Insane Company Wants To Send Nuke Plant Waste To New Mexico A29 11:47PM

Change Links May 2018 A27 8:40AM

Worker-Owned Car Wash on Vermont Closed A27 5:37AM


lausd whistle blower A11 6:58AM

Website Upgrade A10 10:02AM

Help KCET and UCLA identify 60s-70s Chicano images A04 8:02PM

UCLA Luskin: Casting Youth Justice in a Different Light A02 6:58PM

Change Links April 2018 A01 6:27PM

More Local News...

Other/Breaking News

Muselières syndicales, muselières patronales S21 7:19AM

Jeff Bezos, Amazon, The Washington Post, Whole Foods, Etc S21 2:50AM

Why Choose Nut Milk Over Cows' Milk S21 1:01AM

Antrhopocène, le grand effondrement S19 9:53AM

Creative Destruction Hack Diamonds Windows/iOS/Android - Creative Destruction Generator S19 12:51AM

Abolir l'économie S18 11:18AM

The Dictatorship of Corporations S17 5:26PM

18 Lethal Consequences Of Hunting S17 3:13PM

Paraphysique de l'outplacement déontologue S15 6:51AM

Creative Destruction Hack Mod Generator S15 3:49AM

Shopping du bashing S14 8:42AM

After Lehman Brothers, Experts Say Global Financial Crisis Can Happen Again S13 8:28PM

“Animaniacs in Concert!” Starring Voice Legend Rob Paulsen S12 9:30PM

Probabilités de fin d'humanité S12 6:49AM

Florida Area of Migrant Farmworkers Denied Right to Construct Health Clinic near NaplesCIW S11 2:57AM

Propagande de virus, virus de propagande S10 7:34AM

Steer clear of work morality! S09 12:10PM

Sweatshop Lodge Ceremony Continues in US Fed Prisons Led by Inmates S08 6:17PM

Paraphysique de l'origami S08 7:11AM

The Shortwave Report 09/07/18 Listen Globally! S06 11:23PM

August 2018 Honduras Coup update S06 12:28PM

Du réussissement putréfié S06 10:55AM

Brett Kavanaugh Filled The 5th Circuit With Execution Judges S06 6:14AM

Log S06 4:25AM

Augusta Georgia Woman Gets 5 Year Prison Sentence for Writing About Russians Crime Acts S05 8:29AM

Paraphysique de contextualité S05 8:29AM

Crisis Regulation in Global Capitalism S03 3:39PM

Ex-voto de réification S03 10:24AM

More Breaking News...
© 2000-2018 Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Unless otherwise stated by the author, all content is free for non-commercial reuse, reprint, and rebroadcast, on the net and elsewhere. Opinions are those of the contributors and are not necessarily endorsed by the Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Running sf-active v0.9.4 Disclaimer | Privacy