Leftists are champions of the oppressed, the downtrodden and the unfortunate. They tirelessly work to help the world’s poor escape from being squashed like bugs by evil corporations (when they aren’t paying their illegal immigrant house-maids .50 per hour under the table).
Conservatives, on the other hand, are selfish greedy individualists who could care less about those in need. They care only for money, Porterhouse steaks and big SUVs.
Needless to say, I was shocked to find that the right-wing blogosphere is currently far outstripping the left one in raising money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. So far, the totals look like this:
Conservative blogosphere: ,115,369
Leftist blogosphere: 1,047
I think these figures are totally misleading. Here’s why: Conservatives made obscene profits from Halliburton stock and cashed in on all that Iraqi oil. They are flush with cash. Naturally, they can give more. Leftists, on the other hand, are currently tapped out, having selflessly given 0,000 to the terrorist stronghold of Fallujah.