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Monday, Nov. 01, 2004 at 2:00 AM
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!
A note of appreciation from the Rich
Let's be honest: you'll never win the lottery.
On the other hand, the chances are pretty good that
you'll slave away at some miserable job the rest of your
life. That's because you were in all likelihood born into
the wrong social class. Let's face it -- you're a member
of the working caste. Sorry!
As a result, you don't have the education, upbringing,
connections, manners, appearance, and good taste to
ever become one of us. In fact, you'd probably need a
book the size of the yellow pages to list all the unfair
advantages we have over you. That's why we're so
relieved to know that you still continue to believe all
those silly fairy tales about "justice" and "equal
opportunity" in America.
Of course, in a hierarchical social system like ours,
there's never been much room
at the top to begin with. Besides, it's already occupied by
us -- and we like it up
here so much that we intend to keep it that way. But at
least there's usually
someone lower in the social hierarchy you can feel superior
to and kick in the teeth
once in a while. Even a lowly dishwasher can easily find
some poor slob further
down in the pecking order to sneer and spit at. So be
thankful for migrant workers,
prostitutes, and homeless street people.
Always remember that if everyone like you were economically
secure and socially
privileged like us, there would be no one left to fill all
those boring, dangerous,
low-paid jobs in our economy. And no one to fight our wars
for us, or blindly
follow orders in our totalitarian corporate institutions.
And certainly no one to
meekly go to their grave without having lived a full and
creative life. So please,
keep up the good work!
You also probably don't have the same greedy, compulsive
drive to possess wealth,
power, and prestige that we have. And even though you may
sincerely want to
change the way you live, you're also afraid of the very
change you desire, thus
keeping you and others like you in a nervous state of limbo.
So you go through life
mechanically playing your assigned social role, terrified
what others would think
should you ever dare to "break out of the mold."
Naturally, we try to play you off against each other
whenever it suits our purposes:
high-waged workers against low-waged, unionized against
against White, male against female, American workers against
Mexican against.... We continually push your wages down by
competition," "the law of supply and demand," "national
security," or "the bloated
federal deficit." We throw you on the unemployed scrap heap
if you step out of
line or jeopardize our profits. And to give you an
occasional break from the
monotony of our daily economic blackmail, we allow you to
participate in our
stage-managed electoral shell games, better known to you
ordinary folks as
"elections." Happily, you haven't a clue as to what's really
happening -- instead,
you blame "Aliens," "Tree-hugging Environmentalists,"
"Niggers," "Jews," Welfare
Queens," and countless others for your troubled situation.
We're also very pleased that many of you still embrace the
"work ethic," even
though most jobs in our economy degrade the environment,
physical and emotional health, and basically suck your one
and only life right out of
you. We obviously don't know much about work, but we're sure
glad you do!
Of course, life could be different. Society could be
intelligently organized to meet
the real needs of the general population. You and others
like you could collectively
fight to free yourselves from our domination. But you don't
know that. In fact, you
can't even imagine that another way of life is possible. And
that's probably the
greatest, most significant achievement of our system --
robbing you of your
imagination, your creativity, your ability to think and act
So we'd truly like to thank you from the bottom of our
heartless hearts. Your loyal
sacrifice makes possible our corrupt luxury; your work makes
our system work.
Thanks so much for "knowing your place" -- without even
Rich $cum of America
He who hath the gold makes all the
Please make copies and share with other
members of your caste!
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