Author’s Note: Because the following editorial contains the everyday language of tenured professors at Rutgers University, it might be offensive to some readers.
Dear Professor Levitt (email@example.com):
I am writing to compliment you on the eloquence of your recent response to my friend Mike Bayham, who writes a column for GOPUSA.com. Mike wrote a recent editorial on John Kerry that irritated you so badly you decided to write him with the following response:
I think turd eating, s*** sucking mother f***** fits you just about right (although your mother was hardly worth it; my Lab Retriever up and caught the clap when he f***** your mama).
The height of polemical eloquence? Perhaps not. But then thrice-used scumbags like you hardly demand much recourse to the thesaurus. Die before you plan to, and in much pain.
Well “NL,” unfortunately for you, Mr. Bayham did an e-mail trace and found out out that your name is Norman Levitt, that is Professor Norman Levitt of the Math Department at Rutgers University.
Since I was (past tense) thinking about recommending Rutgers University to some of my students considering graduate school, I have a few questions for you:
1. If I reconsider and decide to send my students to Rutgers, will you accuse them of eating fecal matter if they disagree with your political views?
2. Does your dog really have sex with human beings?
3. If you answered “yes” to # 2, who taught your dog to have sex with human beings?
4. Has Peter Singer of Princeton University called to ask whether he can take care of your dog the next time you are on vacation?
5. Did anyone ever tell you that you should never send an email message that you don’t want to see on the cover of the New York Times?
6. Has the New York Times been in touch with you about this recent incident?
7. Why did you write “ethics” in the subject line of your email to Mr. Bayham?
8. Why do you want Mr. Bayham to die?
9. Did you mean to threaten Mr. Bayham? Was the message sent from your campus computer at Rutgers University? Is Rutgers a public university?
10. Has PETA decided to represent your dog since it allegedly contracted a disease from an abusive sexual act committed by a person you cite specifically?
I respectfully await your response. Sincerely,
There are lots of people I don't like and who don't like me… I must say, however, that of all the fools and knaves currently polluting our culture, the scurviest are the two-bit, loudmouthed, spirochete-ridden flacks who peddle horses*** on behalf of the scumbag GOP.
Wear it if it fits.
In other words, Norman Levitt wasn’t just having a bad day. This is the quality of discourse one can expect from a tenured professor at Rutgers University.