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Narco News Benefit in LA, May 16

by Dan Feder Friday, May. 07, 2004 at 4:46 AM
info@authenticjournalism.org

A night of music and comedy at Orchid Restaurant Bar & Lounge, to benefit the Narco News School of Authentic Journalism

Narco News

and

The Fund for Authentic Journalism

cordially invite you to attend

Benefit Dinner & Cabaret
(Proceeds to Benefit the School of Authentic Journalism)

and announcement of this year's scholarship recipients to

The Narco News School of Authentic Journalism

May 16, 2004

at

Orchid Restaurant Bar & Lounge
3900 W. 6th Street
(corner of 6th & Oxford)
Koreatown, Los Angeles, California

6 p.m. Cocktail Hour
7 p.m. Dinner
8 p.m. Announcement of Scholarship Winners
8:30 p.m. Music and Comedy
11 p.m. Karaoke

Orchid Restaurant will donate 20 percent of all food
and drink proceeds to The Fund for Authentic Journalism

Entertainers and Presenters:

Barry Crimmins
Political Humorist, Air America Radio


"He breaks down reality in a hilarious way. He seems ticked off at
everything, and when you hear him, you agree. One of the few
political comedians who are really good."

- Steven Wright

Vessy Mink
Singer-Songwriter

The Boners
Dynamic duo

"L.A. Diva Deluxe" (LA Weekly) Suzy Williams with Bill Burnett

The Smiling Minks
Phenomenal A Capella Trio

(with Moira Smiley, Vessy Mink and Suzy Williams)

Mike Gray
Screenwriter, author of Drug Crazy

Scholarship Presenters:

Sunny Angulo
Graduate, Narco News School of Authentic Journalism

George Sanchez
Graduate, Narco News School of Authentic Journalism

plus

A Special Wide Screen Presentation of...

Gringo-thon
By Greg Berger
Gringoyo Productions

A provocative and hilarious 17-minute documentary about
how to survive as a gringo in Mexico City while your own country
is waging a terrible war.

"Greg Berger is Michael Moore with huevos."
- Narco News


For reservations and information...
Reserve your seats online...


Visit The Fund for Authentic Journalism

Report this post as:
Share on: Twitter, Facebook, Google+

add your comments


Racial Jokes

by Racial Jokes Wednesday, May. 19, 2004 at 6:27 PM

Racial Jokes

BLACK JOKES

Did you hear of the new Black Barbie? * It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check .

What's the difference between good black kids and bad black kids? * Good black kids are in medium security prisons.

What is the difference between a shotgun and a black man? * The black man kills more.

What do you call a bus full of blacks? * America's most wanted

What would you call a world without blacks? * A Dream come true!

What is the New York State motto? * Eat, Drink and be Merry, for tomorrow you may be killed by a nigger in Central park."

What do you call a black man in a suit? * Defendant
What do you say to a black man in a three-piece suit? * "Will the defendant please rise."

They had a nuclear explosion in harlem; 50% died from the explosion how did the others die? * They thought the mushroom cloud were some people smokin crack so they went to check things out.

What do you call a black woman who gets an abortion? * A member of Crime stoppers of America.

What happened to the black woman that had an abortion? * Crime stoppers sent her a check for 500 dollars.

What's the most popular transport in Harlem? * Police cars.
What is the most common form of transportation in Harlem? * Ambulances.

How do you get a black kid to take a shower? * Open a fire hydrant, and start selling crack on the other side.

If there are two black guys and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? * The white cop.

Why did blacks evolve huge motherfucking lips? * Blacks discovered weed pipes hundreds of years ago.

Why is the world like a bag of Jelly Beans? * Everyone Hates the Black Ones!

What's long, black, and smelly? * The unemployment line.

What qualifies as good behavior in a Harlem school? * Raising your hand before you pop a cap in the teacher.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by
* Three blacks? A victim.
* Twenty blacks? Coach
* Thirty blacks? Quarterback
* 200 blacks? Warden

Why don't blacks use checks? * Because they find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.

A white boy and a black boy are having a race down a tunnel. Who won? * The white boy, the nigger had to stop and spray paint "Muthafucka" on the wall.

What is a cocoon? * A black guy with a stutter

What's black, orange, and very pretty? * A nigger on fire.

What do you have if you've got a nigger up to his neck in cement? * Not enough cement.


Why do blacks keep their fists closed when making the "black power" sign? * If they held out an open palm, they'd fall out of the trees!

What happened when the black man looked up his family tree? * gorilla shit in his face

How did the black break his leg raking the leaves? * He fell out of the tree.

Why do police dogs lick their asses so much? * To get the taste of NIGGER out of their mouths!

Why doesn't a black mom let her little boy play in the sand box? * She is afraid that the cat will come and cover it up!
Why aren't there any sandboxes in Harlem? * Cats keep trying to bury the baby niggers.

Why do black people lean to the middle when they drive? * They think the smells coming from the outside.

What do you call a new born black baby * A pile of shit.

Why do blacks carry shit in their wallet? * Identification.
Why does the black man carry a turd in his wallet? * Identification.

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? * Shit on a Stick.

Why don't sharks attack blacks? * They mistake them for whale shit.
Why do blacks never get eaten by sharks? * Sharks like 'em crispy but not burned.

How long does it take a nigger to shit? * Nine months

What is the difference between niggers and dog shit? * The dog shit will eventually dry up, turn white, and quite stinking.
What's the difference between a nigger and a pile of shit? * After a while the shit turns WHITE, and doesn't stink anymore!
What's the difference between a nigger and a pile of cow shit? * The cow shit can be useful!

What is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? * The bucket.

What do poor black kids use instead of Play-Doh ? * Fresh dog shit.

Why do blacks want to be like old dry shit? * because its white and it smells less

Why don't black girls wear panties when they go out to eat? * It keeps the flies off the pizza.

Why don't blacks put Oder Eaters in their shoes? * Because it makes them disappear!

Why do blacks smell? * So blind people can hate them too!

Hear about the new perfume for black women? * It's called "Eau de doo dah day."

If the Blair witch was a nigger what would you change the name of the title to? * The Blair Shit Project!

What do you call a black man with no arms? * Trustworthy.

Why are blacks so fast? * All slow ones are in jail

Why don't niggers marry mexicans? * Their kids would be too lazy to steal!

Why do blacks work the midnight shift? * Because they cant be seen in the dark stealing

What did the black kid get for Christmas? * My bike.

What do you do when you see a black person driving a Corvette? * Call the police, he obviously stole it!

How was break dancing invented? * By black kids stealing hubcaps from moving cars.

What do you call a black boy riding a bike? * Thief!

What's the first thing taught in a Harlem driving school? * How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.

Why shouldn't you hit a black boy riding a bike? * Because the bike is probably yours

Why are blacks so strong? * TV's are getting heavier

What do you say when you see your TV floating around at night? * Drop it nigger!

Why do decent white folk shop at blacks yard sales? * To get all their stuff back, of course!

Why do the cars in Brixton have such small steering wheels? * So the niggers can drive with their handcuffs on.

What do you get if you cross a Negro with a Pakistani? * A car thief that can't drive.

What's the difference between a Nigger and Batman? * Batman can go into town without Robin!

Why do niggers have such flat noses? * When they are born the doctor drops them on the floor, steps on the back of their heads and jerks the tail out.

Why are niggers hands and feet white? * When God spray painted them black he said, "Up against the wall, Motherfuckers."

What do you call a bunch of black guys under the C.N Tower? * Pubic Hair

Why do Niggers wear baggy pants? * To hide their tails.

How do you baby-sit black kids? * Wet their lips and stick them to the wall.

How do you keep nigger kids them from jumping on the bed? * Put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get them down from the ceiling? * Tell the little Mexican kids next door they're a pinata.

Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers? * It comes in a spray can.

Why do niggers wear high heel shoes? * So their knuckles won't drag on the ground

Why do niggers keep chickens in there backyard? * To teach there kid's how to walk.

How do you kill a nigger? * Pop his lips

What do you get if you cross a nigger and a hedgehog? * A HEDGEWOG

What's tattooed on the inside of every Negro's lip? * Inflate to 50 psi.

Did you here about the new lipstick for niggers * It comes with a spray can

Why can't niggers fly? * Their lips explode at 30,000 feet.

Why are there no nigger astronauts? * Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.

Why do black women have such big purses? * To carry their lipstick.

What do you call a bunch of niggers buried up to their eyeballs? * Afro-turf

What do you call a nigger with a pale face? * Down a quart.

Why do niggers wear wide brimmed hats? * So birds won't shit on their lips

What do you call a nigger with yellow teeth? * Violet crumble

What do you call 10,000 niggers running down the street? * A mud slide.

Why don't niggers drive convertibles? * They would get knocked out by their lips flying around (slapping together)

How do you stop a nigger kid from crying in the car? * Lick his lips and stick him to the window.

What do black girls and bears have in common? * They both suck their paws

Why was the wheelbarrow invented? * To teach Niggers to walk on their hind legs.

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? * Skid marks in front of the dog.
What's the difference between a deer in the road and a nigger in the road? * The deer has skid marks in front of it

How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? * She locks the car doors.

How do you kill a nigger? * Throw 25 cents under a moving bus.

Why did all the blacks die in Vietnam? * When the sergeant said "Get down!", they got up and started dancing.

If Tarzan and Jane were black, what would Cheetah be? * The brains of the outfit.

What is long and hard on a nigger? * First Grade
What is long and hard on a nigger? * The Fourth Grade.

What is eight miles long and has a combined I.Q. of 68? * The "Martin Luther King Day" parade.

What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a nigger? * A dumb gorilla, you can never make a nigger any smarter!

What do you get when you cross a monkey and a nigger? * Nothing, monkeys are too smart to fuck niggers!

What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 15? * Gifted.
What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 150? * Tribe.

What does PONTIAC stand for? * Poor old nigger thinks its a Cadillac.

What's dumber than three wiggers trying to build a house underwater? * Three niggers trying to burn it down.

Why don't niggers like country music? * Because when they hear hoe- down they think their sisters been shot

The nigger went to the doctor, and the doc said he was impotent. The nigger said "Dang now iz gotsta gets me a new suit", and the doc asked why? * Well...If Iz gotsta be impawtent den iz wantsta looks impawtent

What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger nigger? * Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.

What are the 3 things you cannot give a black guy? * A fat lip, a black eye, or a job.

What do niggers and sperm have in common? * Only one in two million work!

Hear about the new gun called the nigger? * It doesn't work and you can't fire it.

Why don't black people like it when blacks and Mexicans have babies? * The kid might be too lazy to steal!
Why wouldn't the black guy let his daughter marry the Mexican? * He figured the kids would grow up too lazy to steal.

What's The Difference between a nigger and a pizza? * A pizza can feed a family!

What do you do after you see a nigger working hard? * Open your eyes, get up, get dressed, and make your bed. (there's no such thing as a hard working nigger in real life)

What's the difference between a broken-down car and a nigger? * The broken down car will probably work again one day.

Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia? * He kept waking up twice a week.

Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit? * They heard there were no jobs there.

How can you spot a Black masochist? * He's the one working for a living.

How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? * He promised to create jobs for them if elected.

What is a nigger's favorite anti-perspirant? * Unemployment.

How do you starve a nigger? * Hide the food stamps and welfare checks under a bar of soap.

Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? * Under his work boots.

How do you get twelve niggers in a Volkswagon? * Toss a welfare check in the back seat.

Why will niggers never out-number white people in the USA? * Because if they did, there wouldn't be enough of a tax base to support the welfare system, and they'd all starve!

How do you get 400 niggers in an Escort? * I don't know, but they figure it out.

How do you get niggers out of your neighborhood? * Hide all the good cardboard boxes.

Why was the million monkey march so successful? * No one missed work

What's long and black? * The unemployment line

How do you start a black parade? * By rolling a penny down the street

Did you hear about the hard working black guy? * NO? Neither did I.

Why do niggers always have sex on their minds? * Because of the pubic hair on their heads.

What is a black mans porno magazine? * National Geographic.

What do black people give their daughter when she turns 13? * A baby shower

Why do niggers have red eyes after having sex ? * Because its from all the pepper spray
Why do niggers cry during sex? * Because of the Mace! (sprayed in the face before rape)
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? * Mace will do that to you.

How do you stop five niggers from raping a white woman? * Throw them a basketball.

What does a 13 year old black girl say when she's having sex? * Get off me Dad, you're squashing my cigarettes.

What do you call sex with a black man? * Rape!

What is the only way to rape a nigger? * Don't pay her

Why do black girls dye their hair blonde and wear blue contacts? * So black men will date them.

What do you call a white woman who dates a black man? * Color blind!

What does cotton have in common with noses? * Niggers are good at picking both.

What do you call a barn full of dead niggers? * Antique farm equipment (cotton pickers)
What do you call three Niggers hanging in you tool shed? * Old yard tools.

How do you tell if a nigger's been in your house? * The house smells like B.O., the leftover fried chicken is gone, and your toilet's clean as a whistle.

Why do our grandparents refer to their childhood as the "good ole days"? * That's back when they owned niggers.

What do you call a nigger at Princeton? * Janitor.

What is white from above and black up close? * A cotton field.

Why did the nigger cross the road? * Who the hell cares, why the fuck is he out of the cotton field.

Why are there niggers in heaven? * There's toilets to be cleaned there too.

How many Pollock's does it take to clean a bathroom? * None- That's a niggers job!

What was a niggers first words back in 1850? * Yessir Masser, I clean it up real good for ya masser

What do you get when you cross a nigger and an octopus? * I don't know, but it sure can pick some cotton!

What do you say to a nigger with a job? * I'd like a cheeseburger, large fries, and a medium Coke
What do you say to a black man in uniform? * "I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."

How do you make a nigger nervous? * Take him to an auction.

What was missing from the million man march? * An auctioneer

What's the difference between a black and a snow tire? * A snow tire won't sing when you put chains on it.
What's the difference between a black and a snow tire? * When you put chains on tires they don't start singing amazing grace

What is green and yellow and sits on my front porch? * Well he's my nigger and ill paint him whatever color I like damn it!

Where can you find a good nigger? * In the cemetery.
Where can you find a good nigger? * In the cotton field.

What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls? * It's still legal to own a pit-bull.

What do you say to Mike Tyson with no arms or legs? * Hey NIGGER!

What do you call a black millionaire physicist? * Nigger!
What do you call a black millionaire physicist? * A tycoon

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? * Niggers

What is printed on all African products? * "Untouched by human hands."

How many niggers does it take to change a light bulb? * Who cares they're niggers

What do they call a Negro nuclear physicist in Alabama? * Nigger!

When does a black man become a nigger? * When he leaves the room

What do you call a piece of chicken in a deep hole? * A COON Trap.

Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving? * Kentucky Fried Chicken isn't open on holidays.

Hear about G.M.'s new nigger Cadillac? * The glove compartment's big enough to hold a watermelon.

What do you call a nigger fortune cookie? * A popeyes biscuit with a coupon inside.
What do you call a nigger fortune cookie? * A piece of corn bread with a food stamp in it.

Did you hear the NFL is switching to green balls next year? * Have you ever heard of a nigger dropping a watermelon?

What's the definition of mass confusion? * Father's Day in Harlem

How do you kill a thousand niggers? * Blow up Kentucky fried chicken

Do you know why flies have wings? * So they can beat the niggers to the watermelons.
Do you know why flies have wings? * So they can get away from the niggers.

How do you get a black man to commit suicide? * Toss a bucket of KFC into traffic. (End a few more welfare leeches.)

What do you call a bus full of blacks? * A chocolate box

What do you call a black with white hair? * Topdeck

How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black? * Ever try taking a rib from a nigger?

Why do blacks wear white gloves? * So they don't bite off their fingers when they're eating Tootsie Rolls!
Why is mielie pup white? * So blacks don't eat their fingers

How do you keep a nigger quarterback from dropping the ball? * Paint it green and tell him it's a watermelon.

Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics? * To keep the flies off the chicken.

What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier? * A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.

What did God say when he made the first black man? * Oh, Shit! * Oh shit I burnt one.

What do you call a black priest? * Holy Shit!

What do you call a black man on top of a church? * Holy Shit!

Why do blacks have two big nostrils? * Its how God picked them up before he painted them.

Did you see the two black men on "That's Incredible"? * One had a job, and the other knew who his father was!

What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? * Neighbor.

What is the difference between a white owl and a black one? * The white one goes who-who the black one goes who dat who dat

What does a smart nigger, and Santa Clause have in common? * They're both fictional characters!

Why are chimps always frowning? * They know in a million years they are going to turn into niggers.

Why did the ape commit suicide? * It learned it might have evolved from the niggers!

Why do blacks hate aspirin? * Because its white, it works, and they hate picking the cotton out of the bottle.

What does the NAACP really stand for? * Niggers Apes Assholes Coons & Porch monkeys!
What does the NAACP really stand for? * Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
What does the NAACP really stand for? * Ninnies Are Always Cultivating Politicians
What does the NAACP really stand for? * Num-nut African-Americans Cursing People

What do you call a guy raping a black woman? * A negro-philiac

What's the difference between a gangbangin' nigger and a prostitute? * The prostitute can wash her crack and re-sell it.

How do find a black man at night? * Tell him a joke so he smiles

If a white baby died and it would become an angel, what would a black baby become? * A Bat

What does a nigger say on acid? * I.....have.....a.....dream.....

Why are aspirin tablets white? * You want them to work don't you.

Have you ever seen a nigger on the Jetsons? * No, future looks pretty bright, don't it.

What do you call a black man falling down a cliff? * Good Entertainment
What do you call a black man flying back up a cliff? * Black magic

What do you call a nigger lost in the country? * SPOOKED

Why don't blacks go to rodeos? * Because when they here hoe down! they think there mother got shot!

What is it when you find a grain of rice in a bucket? * An Ethiopian who was spewing up all night.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? * Quarter Pounder with cheese.

How can you tell if an Ethiopian is sick? * Another is following him with a bowl and spoon.

Why weren't there any niggers on the Flintstones? * Because they were all monkeys back then stupid.

How can you tell if a black women is having a baby? * When she pulls out her tampon its half eaten.

What do Ethiopians call the Easter bunny? * Dinner

What does a chain saw say? * Note-(say this fast) run nigger nigger run

What is the difference between a black fairy tales and White fairy tales? * White fairy tales start "once upon a time" * Black fairy tales start "yo, you motherfuckers aint gonna believe this shit."

Why are the trees in harlem so close? * Public transportation

What do u call 40 blacks in a swimming pool? * co-co puffs

What do you call a black man in an oven? * A burnt cookie

What goes Fee Fi Foe Fee Fi Foe Fee? * Mike Tyson giving out his phone number

What says "HO DE DO! HO DE DO! HO DE DO!"? * Three black guys runnin for the elevator door.

Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time? * He doesn't know he's black
Why can't Stevie Wonder read? * He's black

What is the American dream? * All the blacks go back to Africa with a Jew under each arm!

Why did the ape commit suicide? * It learned it might have evolved from the niggers!

What's black and white and red all over? * A Ku Klux Klan house-warming party!

Who were the three most famous women in black history? * Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother Fucker!

What's black and white and red all over? * A black man and seagull fighting over a french fry on the Jersey shore!

What's black and white and goes rolling along the boardwalk? * A black man and a pigeon fighting over a chicken wing!

Why does the Hartz Mountain Tick Collar come in fluorescent colors? * So coons can wear costume jewelry, too!

Did you hear about Evil Kneivel's cousin, Ku Klux Knieval? * He tried to jump over 50 niggers - With A Steamroller.

Why don't blacks stick their heads out of moving vehicles? * Their lips catching the wind will beat them to death.

What's green and pink and purple and orange? * A black man dressed for church

Did you hear about the little black kid who got diarrhea? * He thought he was melting!

What did the little black kid say when Santa Clause came down the chimney saying, "Ho ho ho!"? * "Where's ma mamma, mutha phucka?"

What do you call a black hitchhiker? * Stranded.

How do black kids play hide and seek? * They turn out the lights

What do you call two black motocycle cops? * Chocolate CHiPs.

What do you call a black Frenchmen? * Jacques Custodian

Why do blacks tint their car windows? * They don't-- it's the black rubbing off.

What's green and pink and purple and orange? * A black man dressed for church.

What's Big, Long, Black and smelly? * The Welfare Line in Harlem.

What the most confusing day in the black neighborhood? * Fathers Day

How do we know that Adam and Eve were not black? * Have you ever tried to take a rib away from a nigger?

Did you hear about the black man and the Mexican who opened a restaurant? * It's called Nacho Mama.

What are the six words you never ever want to hear? * "Hi, I be yo' new neighbor."

How is transportation being improved in Harlem? * They're planting the trees closer together.

Why does California have so many fags and New York have so many balcks? * California had first choice.

What is the difference between a "RAP" group's manager and a proctologist? * A proctologist only deals with one asshole at a time.

What do you call a black-midget in Ireland? * A lepra-coon.

What is white yet has a black asshole? * The Washington D.C. Mayor's office.

What do you call a conversation between Jesse Jackson & James Brown? * Gibberish

What's the difference between the old black mama and an elephant? * Usually about 20 lbs.

What do you call a black prostitute with braces? * A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.

Why were there only 49 contestants in the Miss Ebonics contest? * Because no one wanted to wear the sash that said I-DA-HO!!!

How many blacks does it take to change a light bulb? * 5, 1 to change it and 4 to hold the sound equipment.

What's the fastest thing on 2 legs? * A chicken being chased by a Cambodian.

What do you get if you cross a black guy and a Jew? * A janitor in a law firm

What's the black stuff between an elephants toes? * Slow black men

What do you get when you cross a white woman with a black man? * An abortion

Why don't black women become nuns? * They only know one word to use after mother, and it isn't superior

What do you call a black man on a ship who feel overbroad? * Oil Spill

Why did The Nigger from Nation of Islam wear his nicest Tuxedo to his vasectomy? * He figured if we was going to be impotent, he wanted to look impotent. * (quote) Cuz if I'ma gonsta Be Impotent I wants to look Impotent.

What do you call an apartment full of niggers? * A COON-dominium.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? * "I set WHO free?"

What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head? * A quarter-pounder.

Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes? * California got first pick.

Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots? * They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.

What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl? * A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"

What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit? * He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.

What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common? * They're both niggers.

How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read? * They're both niggers.

What do you get when you cross a nigger with a Vietnamese? * Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.

What do you get when you cross a nigger and a chink? * A ape that eats a hell of a lot of rice.

What's the fastest animal in the world? * The Ethiopian chicken.

Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt? * He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.

Why do seagulls have wings? * To beat the niggers to the dump.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass? * A dart.

Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep? * Deep down they're good people.

What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape? * The length of the chain.

What do niggers use to wash their white clothes? * BLEEATCH!

What did the nigger say when he slid down the zebra? * Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't.

What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian? * A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.

What do you call two Ethiopians in a gold sleeping bag? * Twix.
What do you call two niggers in a sleeping bag? * Twix

What's the difference between a nigger and a letter? * You can send a letter back to where it came from.

What's the difference between the holy grail and a nigger's daddy? * You may find the grail.

How does the navy use niggers? * They debone them and use them as wetsuits.

Why do niggers like basket ball? * It involves running, shooting and stealing.

What has four legs and a black arm? * A happy pitbull.

How many nigger college students does it take to screw in a light bulb? * Only one, but he gets 6 credits for it.

Hear about the Nigger guy that bought new snow tires? * They melted on the way home.

Two men were walking together. One American, one Nigger. The American said "look a dead bird" the other looked up and said "where?"

A Nigger girl called up her druggist and asked what to do for her boyfriend's dandruff and he recommended Head & Shoulders. She called back a week later and asked, "How do you give someone shoulders?"

What do you call 4 cops shooting a black guy 41 times? * Target practice.

What's the difference between a pothole and blacks? * You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?

A black man, a Jew and a spic get shoved off a building at the same time- which one hits pavement first? * Who cares.

If I had enough cash to send half the blacks in America back to Africa.... * Id choose to send them all just half way.

Why was there only 1 black man on the space shuttle Challenger? * They didn't know it was going to blow up.

What do you call a black man at a skinhead rally? * Soon to be an ex-nigger.

"Shotgun shoot'in"
What do you do when you see a black man with one leg? * Stop laughing and re-load
What do you do when a black man running towards you with no head * Stop laughing and re-load
What do you do if you see a black man running through your yard with half his head shot off? * Quit laughing and re-load!

What is black inside and yellow outside and makes you laugh? * A bus full of blacks falling off a cliff.

What is yellow on the outside and black on the inside and a lot of fun to watch? * A bus full of blacks going over a cliff

What would be a damn shame about a bus full of blacks going off a cliff? * One seat empty!

What do you call three blacks sitting in a garden? * Fertilizer.

What is wrong with 4 blacks going over a cliff in a Cadillac? * It seats 5

What do you call 50,000 blacks in the bottom of the sea? * A good start.

How do you drown a black man? * drop a quarter in the bottom of a pool

What do you call 100 niggers on the moon? * Problem
1,000 niggers ? * Problem
All the niggers ? * Problem solved

How do you stop a blacks man from drowning?
* Take your foot off his head - But who would want too..
* Take your foot off his head … on second thought, Don't!
* You don't.

How many blacks does it take to roof a building? * Ten, if you slice them thin enough.

How many blacks does it take to pave a road? * Depends on how you slice them

What do you throw to a drowning black man in the middle of a lake? * His wife and kids!

What do you call the inventor of the noose? * A genius

What do you call 1000 blacks going over a cliff? * Nigger falls

What do you get when you drop 10,000 blacks from an airplane? * New parking lot.

What's the difference between a truckload of watermelons and a truckload of nigger babies? * You can't unload a truckload of watermelons with a pitchfork!

Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"? * You put it on the front of your car.

How do you wipe out 250 ape families? * Blow up Kmart.

What do you call 100 parachuting blacks? * Skeet.

What are you doing when you smile and blink at a blacks? * Aiming a shotgun at him

Why do blacks call white people "honkies"? * That's the last noise they hear before the white people run them over.

What's Brown and Black and looks good on a nigger? * A Rotweiler -or- A Doberman Pinscher.

What's black and red and gets caught in a revolving door? * A black man with a spear in his back!

What do you call three blacks at a skinhead barbeque? * Charcoal. Kentucky Fried Nigger.

How do you kill a black man? * Aim for the stereo.

What do the KKK and steroids have in common? * They both make black guys run faster

How many black guys does it take to paint a wall? * Depends on how hard you throw them

How do you stop a nigger from going out? * Pour more gas on him.

What do you do if you run over a nigger? * Reverse.

What's black and red, wears a high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door? * A black man with a spear through his head!

What is black, runny, and scratches on glass? * A nigger in a microwave.

What is a nigger? * Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.

What did the Alabama sheriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? * The worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

Name 2 things that blacks and faggots have in common? * Their dicks are both brown, and they both spread AIDS.

Why are blacks such good dancers? * Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.

A black kid and a white kid in the third grade. Who has the bigger dick? * The black kid , and why, he is 18 years old.

What's the difference between a nigger and a Christmas ornament? * A Christmas ornament doesn't scream when you hang it from a tree.

How do you keep blacks out of your back yard? * Hang one in the front yard.

How do you stop a blacks from hanging around in your front yard? * Hang him in the back

How can you tell a black is well hung? * You can only fit one finger between the rope and his neck.

How do you get a black down from a tree * Cut the rope (on second thought, don't!)

What does a black and a apple have in common? * They both look good hanging from a tree
What do black people and candy canes have in common? * They both look good hanging on a tree.

Did you hear that I had a black man in my family tree? * He's been hanging there since last summer.

Why is there only two pallbearers at a black's funeral? * Because their is only two handles on a garbage can!

What do you do if you see your TV float away at night? * Grab a shotgun and try to shoot the fucking nigger!

Why do black people make good gynecologist? * They are used to big lips, curly hair, and bad breath.

Why did god give niggers big dicks? * He felt bad about what he did to their hair.

What's a black mermaid? * A carp with tits.

Why did the nigger run when his girlfriend said she wanted to give him a blowjob? * He was afraid it would cancel his unemployment benefits.

Why do niggers have sex all night? * Because they don't go to work the next morning.

What do niggers say during foreplay? * "If you scream, bitch, I'll kill you!"
What's the definition of nigger sex? * Don't scream bitch or I will kill you

Why do Niggers prefer the doggie style position for lovemaking? * They can both watch Soul Train on TV that way.

What is Harlem's definition of "Relative Humidity"? * The pool of sweat that forms in the small of their sisters back when their doin' her doggie style.

Why was the nigger acquitted of the rape charge on the grounds of temporary insanity? * Because when he got an erection, there was no blood left to flow to his brain!

Why are black men hung better then white men? * Because little white boys had toys to play with!

What do nigger pimps and farmers have in common? * They both need a hoe to stay in business!

What is the definition of a black virgin? * An ugly 8-year-old who can outrun her brother

Why did god create orgasms? * So niggers know when to stop.

Why did God create Aids? * To control the niggers out of control population

How can you tell if a black women is pregnant? * Shove a banana up her pussy. If it comes out half eaten, you know there is a little monkey up there.

What's the difference between black pussy and a bowling ball? * You can eat a bowling ball.




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GAY JOKES

What's "tender love?" * Two homosexuals with hemorrhoids.

What do gays call hemmorroids? * Speed Bumps

What do gay South Africans get? * Apart-AIDS.

Know how you get hearing AIDS? * From listening to assholes!

What did the lesbian gas attendant say when the leggy blonde pulled in? * Mind if I check under your hood?

What charges can you bring against a transvestite? * Male fraud.

Did you hear about the gay bible? * The first couple was Adam and Steve.

What happened when two faggot sergeants met? * They talked about their privates!

How can you tell a macho fag at the beach? * By the shaving scars on his legs.

What's another name for AIDS? * Goner-rhea.

What's Perpetration H? * Dingleberry Jam.

If you get malaria from mosquitoes and Lyme disease from ticks, what do you get AIDS from? * Asshoppers.

What's the leading cause in death with lesbians? * Hair Balls

What is the definition of confusion? * Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market

What does GAY stand for? * Got Aids Yet!

What do you call 2 gays in wheelchairs? * Rolaids

What is the first symptom of AIDS? * A sharp penetrating pain in the arse

What's the favorite pickup line in a gay bar? * May I push your stool in

What do you call a Jewish homosexual? * He-blew.

What do you call a bouncer in a gay bar? * A flamethrower!

What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? * Say, "Nice dick."

How many lesbians does it take to put in a light bulb? * 3, one to put it in ,and two to drive her to the emergency room to have it taken back out.

What do you call a gay guy with diarrhea? * A juicy fruit.

Why do homosexuals use ribbed condoms? (BR) * So they have traction to get out of the mud.

How are farmers and homosexuals the same? * They both have mud on there rubbers.

Why are gays so gay? * BECAUSE THEY'RE GAY!!

How does a gay guy fake an orgasm? * He spits on his partners back!

What do you call two fags named bob? * Oral roberts!

"Mommy, one of the kids at school called me a sissy!" "So what did you do, Benny?" "I hit him with my purse!"

How do you fit four fags into a crowded bar? * Turn the stool upside down!

Why was the faggot fired from his job at the sperm back? * For drinking on the job!

What does A.I.D.S. mean? * Another Infected Dick Sucker

What does A.I.D.S. mean? * Anus Injected Death Serum

What's another name for AIDS? * Toxic Cock Syndrome!

How can you tell when you enter a gay church? * Only half the congregation are on their knees

In the jungles of Africa how do you separate the men from the boys? * With a crowbar

What is the difference between a gay and a refrigerator? * A. the refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Three queers are sitting in a hot tub one night, when a pool of cum floats by. One asked the others, "Who farted?"

In a duplex there lived two gay couples, male on one side, female on the other. Early one morning, there's a fire. Who gets out first? * The male couple of course. They'd packed their shit the night before!

What did one condom say to another condom in a gay bar? * Lets go get shitfaced.

A bus of gays and a bus of dykes are headin to the airport; which one will get there first? * The gays cause they already have their shit packed.

A man walks into a bar and says "I'm so thirsty I would lick the sweat off a cows dick", then the gay guy sitting next to him replies "MOO!"

How can you tell when you're at a gay Barbeque? * The hot dogs taste like shit!

Why are gay people Gay? * Because they would much rather stick their penises in dirty places than clean ones!




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HISPANIC JOKES

"America.. the ONLY country in the world that expects its citizens to learn the language of immigrants instead of the immigrants learning ours!"

Why do niggers put their garbage out in clear plastic bags? * So Mexicans can window shop.

Why do Mexicans buy Cabbage Patch dolls? * Because they come with birth certificates.

What's the difference between a cue ball and an illegal immigrant? * The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them. -or- The harder you hit the cue ball, the more English you get out of it.

Why don't niggers marry Mexicans? * Their kids would be too lazy to steal!

Why doesn't Mexico ever host the Olympics? * Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America already.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? * Unemployed

There is a Mexican, a nigger and an Asian in a car, who is driving? * The Cop!

Why doesn't Mexico have a NAVY? * Because cardboard don't float.

Why is it wrong to push a car off a cliff with three Mexicans in it? * Because you can fit five?

What's a Mexican fortune cookie? * A taco shell with food stamps in it.

What do you call a Mexican on a bike? * A thief.

Why do you never hit a Mexican on a bike? * Because the bike might be yours.

Why don't whites throw rocks at Mexican driven cars? * Because it might be theirs.

How many Mexicans can you fit in a Pinto? * 20
How do you get them in? * Throw in a five dollar bill.
How do you get them out? * Throw in a work application

What do you call a Mexican baptismal? * Bean dip
What do you call a Mexican being baptized? * Bean dip.
What do you call 5000 Mexican's in a pool? * Bean dip

Why do Mexicans have mustaches? * They want to be like their moms!

Where do u hide cash from a Mexican? * Under the soap!

Why do Mexicans drive low riders? * So they can pick lettuce while they cruise

How do you know how many Mexicans are in a Safeway? * Count the Pintos and multiply by 20.

Why were there only 3000 Mexicans at the Alamo? * They only had 4 cars.

What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house? * Adopted.

Who's the richest person in Mexico? * The one that gets it.....

How do you take a census in Mexico? * Throw in a bar of soap and count the number of people running away.

How do you count the population of Mexico? * Roll a quarter down the street and count the people running after it.

What did the Mexican kid down the block get for his birthday? * The bike you threw out 3 weeks ago.

Know why Mexican women wear long dresses? * To hide the bug strips.

Why did the Mexicans fight so hard to take the Alamo? * So they could have four clean walls to write on.

Why do Mexican girls wear panties? * To keep their ankles warm.

What's the most confusing day for a Mexican? * Father's Day!

How do you tell a Mexican girl from a Jewish girl? * A Mexican girl's jewelry is fake, but her orgasms are real.

What do you call a pregnant Mexican? * Bean Bag.
What do you call an old Mexican woman? * Bean bag.

How many spics does it take to have a bath? * Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.

Why don't Mexicans play hide and seek? * Because no one will look for them.

Why do Mexicans have re-fried beans? * Have you ever heard of a Mexican doing anything right the first time?

How can you tell a Mexican airline? * It's the one with hair under the wings.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? * I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.

Why can't spics be firefighters? * They can't tell Jose from hose B.

How do you get a Mexican woman pregnant? * Jizz in her shoes, and let the flies do the rest!

How many Mexicans does it take to grease an axle? * One if you hit 'em just right.

How many Mexicans does it take to grease a combine? * It all depends upon how fast you run them through.

Why is a Spic like a Skunk? * Because they're half black and half white, and smell like shit.

Why doesn't the state of Texas electrocute Mexican prisoners anymore? * Grease fires are too hard to put out.




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JEWISH JOKES

How does a Jew know his wife is dead? * The sex stays the same, but the dishes pile up in the sink

What's the Jewish version of foreplay? * Half an hour of begging.

What does a Jew mean when he says "TRUST ME"? * Screw You!


Jews and Money (what a selfish beast):

How was copper wiring invented? * Two Jews fighting over a penny!

How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home? * They put parking meters on the roof!

Why is money green? * Because Jews pick it before it's ripe!

Do you know how to keep Jews out of a country club? * Let one in, and he'll keep the rest out.

How can you tell the mother-in-law at a Jewish wedding? * She's the one on her hands and knees picking up the rice!

Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein? * They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!

Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years? * Someone dropped a quarter!

Why do Jews have such big noses? * Because air is free.

What's the definition of a queer Jew? * Someone that likes girls more then money.

What's the object of a Jewish football game? * To get the quarter back!

How do you lose a Jewish cop? * Drive through a toll booth (cheap Jew)

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? * A canoe tips.

Why do Jewish girls like prostitution? * Because you got it, you sell it, and you still got it.

How can you tell if your limo is owned by a Jew? * It has a pay phone in the back seat.

What's the best thing to do before a visit to a Jewish dentist? * Count your money before he gives you the gas.

Why don't Jewish soldiers wear bullet proof vests? * Because they cant get a refund if they don't work.

How do you confuse a Jewish guy? * Put him in a round room, tell him there's a penny in the corner.

Why do Jews have thick windows? * So their kids don't hear the ice-cream truck.

What's the shortest book in the world? * The Jewish handbook of business ethics.

What's the real American dream? * For every black guy to swim back to Africa with a JEW under each arm!

If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be? * A fur coat!

Why don't Jews eat pork? * They may be a lot of things, but CANNIBALS they're not!

What's a Jewish dilemma? * Free ham.

Why aren't Jews attacked by sharks? * Professional courtesy!

What did the Jewish mother ask her daughter when she learned she had an affair? * Who catered it?

What's the difference between a Jewish bitch and a barracuda? * Nail polish.

What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew? * An elephant eventually forgets.

What's the difference between karate and judo? * Karate is a form of self-defense, and judo is what bagels are made of.

Did you hear that the limbo was invented by the Jews? * Yeah, from sneaking into pay toilets.

What do you call ten Jewish bitches in a basement? * A WHINE cellar.

Why did the Jewish mother have herself entombed at Bloomingdales? * So her daughter would visit at least twice a week.

What's the difference between a vulture and a Jew? * A vulture waits until you're dead to eat your heart out!

What do you call a Jewish homosexual? * He-blew.

What do you call the Jewish mafia? * The kosher nostra.

What do you get when you cross a Jew with a Puerto Rican? * A superintendent who thinks he owns the building.

What do you get when you cross a chinaman with a Jewish mother? * Someone who makes misfortune cookies.

Would you classify shindlers list as drama, or war epic? * Neither, it was a comedy!

Why don't Jews drink? * It interferes with their suffering!

Why don't Jews like oral sex? * It's too close to the gas chamber.

What does an apple and a Jew have in common? * They both look good hanging from a tree!

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple pie? * An apple pie doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!

How do you fit 6 million Jews into a car? * Two in the front, three in the back, and the rest in the ashtray!

What's the difference between a circumcision and crucifixion? * In a crucifixion, they throw the whole Jew out!

What candy did Hitler hate more then any other? * Jew Jew Beans... Although I heard he enjoyed them "roasted!"

What do you call 5 Jews in the back of a truck going off the edge of a cliff? * A waste, you can fit 12!

Did you hear how the Germans fit the most people in a VW bug? * There where two big Germans in the front, two big Germans in the back, and 88 Jews in the ash tray.

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? * A pizza won't scream when you put it in the oven.

What's the best thing that ever came out of Auschwitz? * An Empty Bus.

Why Hitler committed suicide? * Because he saw his gas bill.

What did the Auschwitz guard say when Hitler payed a surprise visit? * If I knew you where coming, I'd have baked a kike!

What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall? * He breaks his nose.

Why do Jewish bitches only sleep with circumcised men? * They want 20% off everything!
Why do Jewish women go for circumcised men? * They can't resist 10% off!

Did you hear about the Jewish child molester? * He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"

Did you hear about the Jew bitch who told her husband, "Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."? * He fucked her twice and threw her down the stairs

How do you know when a Jewish women has an orgasm? * She drops her nail file!

How do you stop a Jewish girl from fucking you? * Marry her!

Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards? * They like the part where the hooker gives the money back!

Roses are redish, Violits are bluish, if it wasn't for Christmas we'd all be jewish.




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ASIAN JOKES

What do you call a Chinese walking a dog? * A vegetarian

What do you call a Chinese test tube baby? * No Fun Son

How do you say watermelon in Chinese? * Coon Chow

Why is there no Disneyland in China? * No ones tall enough to go on the good rides.

Did you hear about the new Chinese cookbook? * It's called 101 ways to cook your dog.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? * They named him Sum Ting Wong.

Why can't an American couple have a Chinese baby? * Because two whites cant make a Wong.

How do you blindfold an oriental? * Use tooth floss

Why do Asian people hate sprinklers? * Cause it goes chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, gook, gook, gook, gook

What are chinks? * A waste of white

How do chinks name their kids? * They throw silverware down the stairs -OR- They dump chop-sticks down the stairs

What do you get when you cross a Puerto Rican with a Chinaman? * A car thief who can’t drive

What do you call a fat Chinese person? * A chunk

What did the Chinese Premier say to Clinton as he boarded Air Force One to leave China? * Rotsa Ruck on your next erection

Why don't Japanese people like mushrooms? * They remind them of nuclear bomb that was dropped on them




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BLACK STORIES



"Car trouble"
There was a nigger on the side of the road who was fixing his tire, so another nigger ran up to him and says, "great job my brother, you take the tire and I'll snatch the radio."



"12 nigga nigga"
One day a lil white boys out n the middle of East LA jumpin up and down on this lanhole yell 12 nigga nigga 12 nigga nigga. then tyron, this lil black boy walks up to him and says" Hey man! what the hell are you doin?" well, i'm jumpn up and down on this here manhole yellin 12 nigga nigga....Try it, its fun he says to the lil black boy. The kids hesitant, but does it anyway. lil Tyrons jumpin up and down yellin at the top of his lungs....12 nigga nigga, 12 nigga nigga when all of a sudden the lil white boy slides the lid off and the black boy falls in.

He replaces the lid and proceeds....13 nigga nigga, 13nigga nigga....



"Black boy cooks with Mom"
A 6 year old nigger boy is watching is Momma cook in the kitchen and asks if he can help. She says sure go on the top shelf and get the flower so we can make the fried chicken. He is a little too short so he gets a stool reaches for the flower then, boom, and falls all over him. Boy says " Mommy Mommy look at me I'm white now. Mommy smacks him across the face "now go tell your daddy what you just said. "Daddy daddy, look at me I'm white I'm white, daddy knocks him over the head with his 40, "Go tell your grandmamma what you said. "Granny granny look at me, I'm white I'm white. Granny beats the boy with her cane. The black boy walks away and says " Man I've only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate Niggers"



"A White Mans Wish"
A white man was walking along the beach one day when he happened upon a bottle. When he opened it, a genie popped out and said, "Hey!" The man replied, "you're a genie, right?" "Yes," said the occupant of the bottle. "I'm a genie. What about it?" "Well," the man says, "you're supposed to grant me three wishes, right?" "NO!" says the genie. "That ended centuries ago. I don't do that anymore. I'm retired now. Just put me back on the bottle and drop me back on the beach where you found me." "Awwww..c'mon!" persisted the man. "Grant me a wish!" "Oh...all right!" the genie rolled his eyes. "You get one wish...and ONE WISH ONLY! And it had BETTER be exactly what you want because it WILL come true!" The man was ecstatic. He scratched his head, thought about it for a while, and finally whispered something in the genie's ear. "Okay," said the genie. "Your wish will come true at nine o' clock tomorrow morning! Now put me back in the bottle!" "Great!" the man said. He put the genie back on the beach and went home. He got a good night's sleep, called his girlfriend and asked her to come over, took a nice long hot shower..... At exactly 9:00 AM, the doorbell rang. The man opened it to find three Skinheads standing at his door each holding an arm of rope, eyeing him suspiciously. "Tell us," one finally said. "Are you the guy who wanted to be hung like a nigger?"



"Sears Towers"
There's a nigger, a Canadian and an American on top of one of the sears towers. The American says to the nigger, "I bet you I can jump off of here and hit the wind current just right - floating softly to the ground." The nigger looks amazed at the American. "I dont be leave it sucka, ya fuckin wit me aint ya?" the nigger says. So the American says, "Ok, Ill prove it to you." The American leaps off the building and floats all the way down. Once down, he runs all the way up the stairs to the Canadian and the nigger. "See, I told ya nigger... now you give it a try." "Otay," the nigger says as he leaps off the building. "SPLAT!" the nigger is splattered all over the side walk. The Canadian looks over at the American and says "You know Superman, sometimes you can be pretty mean."



"Robot Caddy's"
This guy walks into the proshop and asks for 18 holes and a caddy. The proshop clerk says "well I can get you the 18 holes but were all out of caddy's. However we have 7 new robot caddy's would you like to be the 1st to try one?" The man says "ok ill try one." the man walks up to the 1st hole and says "well I guess ill use my driver for this" then the robot caddy blurts out in a robotic voice "sir i suggest you use your 3-wood that's too much club for this hole." the man pulls out his 3-wood and drives the ball, it landed 10 ft from the hole, the man says "wow that was amazing!". He comes onto the putting green and says "well this putt is going right to left." the robot caddy chirps up and says "sir the putt is going left to right!" the man listens and does as the robot caddy says and birdies it. the man plays the rest of the day and plays his best game ever. he walks in the proshop and says "hey! I just played my best game ever! ill come back next week and be sure to save me 18 holes and a robot caddy!" the man walks in the next week and says "ill take 18 holes and 1 robot caddy." the clerk says well i can get you the 18 holes but we had to get rid of the robot caddy's. the man asks why? the proshop clerk says well the glare from there shiny metal sides were blinding the golfers. the man says why didn't you paint them black? the clerk says well we did and the next day 3 didn't show up for work and the other 4 robbed the proshop!



"Wild Animals And Niggers"
Three white people were snowmobileing when one of them noticed the others had guns with them. So he asked them why they were carrying them. The other man said you never know when you may run into wild animals or niggers. But of course we never kill wild animals.



"Blacks in Heaven"
Gabriel came to the lord and said, "I have to talk to you, I have a problem. I know you made us and we have to love everybody, but our Black folk up here in Heaven are causing some problems. They are winging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, hamhock, sparerib, and pigfeet bones are all over the streets of Gold, some are walking around with one wing, they have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to Heaven clean, there are watermelon seeds all over the clouds, some aren't even wearing their halos, saying it doesn't fit right with their hair styles." The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil." The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Dang, hold on." The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can I do for you?" The Lord replied, "Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there." The Devil said, "Wait one minute", and put the Lord on hold. After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said, "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?" The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?" The Devil said, "Man, I don't beli......hold on, Lord." This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk to you right now. These Negroes dun put the fire out, and are trying to install air conditioning!



"Sheriff Verdict"
A Negro's body was found on the outskirts of a small Mississippi town. The victim had been bound hand and foot, stabbed seventeen times, and had six bullet wounds in his body. "What's your verdict, sheriff?" asked a reporter. "Worst case of suicide I ever saw!" replied the lawman.



"Advice"
Two guys work together - a black guy and a white guy. The black guy notices that the white guy always came to work with a smile on his face. He asks him "Man, how come you come to work with a smile on your face every day?" The white guy replied "That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work." Amazed the black guy asks him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning. "That's easy," the white guy said. "I just tell her the same poem when I wake up: Blondie, Blondie, eyes so blue, I just love waking up and making love to you!" Well, determined the black guy decides to take his friends advice. The next day the black guy shows up to work all beat to hell - black eyes, broken nose, fat lip... the works. The white guy says, "Man, what happened to you???" The black guy says "I don't know, I went home and tried your advice." "Well, what poem did you tell your wife?" the white guy asked. The black guy replied: "Nappy head, Nappy head, eyes like a frog, If I could roll your fat ass over, I'd do you like a dog!"



"Bar"
A Chinese man walks into a bar and after seeing that the bartender is black shouts "Gimme a jigger Nigger". The black man tells him that it wasn't a nice thing to say, and how would he like the same treatment. The Chinese man explains he wouldn't give a shit, so the black man says "Okay, you get behind the bar and we'll try it again." The Chinese man gets behind the bar and the nigger goes outside. After a few seconds the black man comes in and says, "Gimme a drink, Chink". The Chinese man stares at him and says "Fuck off boy, we don't serve niggers in here!"



"The Barn"
A Jew, a Hindu and a nigger were driving in the country one night when their car broke down. They walked to a nearby farm house and asked if they could spend the night. The farmer told them yes, but he only had two extra beds but he had a clean barn full of fresh straw and one of them would have to spend the night there. The Jew said he had spent several years on a kibutz in Israel and sleeping in a barn wouldn't bother him. Out to the barn goes the Jew and everybody else went to bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and there stood the Jew. He said he couldn't sleep in the barn because there was a pig in the barn and his religion forbid it. The Hindu said no problem, he had grown up in Bombay and he wouldn't have a problem sleeping in a clean barn with a pig. Out to the barn goes the Hindu and everybody else went to bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and there stood the Hindu. He said he couldn't sleep in the barn because there was a cow in the barn and his religion forbid it. The nigger said no problem, he had grown up in south L.A. and there was no way a pig or a cow was going to keep him from a good nights sleep. Out to the barn goes the nigger and everybody else went to bed. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door and there stood the pig and the cow.



"A yuppie, a black man, and a cowboy"
There's three guys sitting around a campfire; a yuppie, a black man, and a cowboy. The yuppie is drinking Michelob, he jugs it down, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his pistol, shoots the bottle and says, "This is the Life!" The black man is drinking Miller, jugs it down, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his pistol, shoots the bottle and says, "Taste great!" The cowboy is drinking Old Milwaukee, he jugs it down, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his pistol, shoots the nigger in the head and says, "This is the way it was meant to be!!"



"Doctors Emergency"
A black couple goes to bed and when the girl wakes up the next day she takes a look at her husband and screams because he is white from his ears up. Immediately she wakes him up and they both rush to the doctors office. The doctor examines him and goes in the back to get some medicine. Out he steps with a mixture of brown liquid and tells they guy to drink. The guy drinks and with a bad expression remarks, "that was terrible, it tasted like shit" to which the doctors replies, "yes, you were a quart low!"



"White Wash"
A black kid is white washing a fence. After a while he notices that he is getting whitewash all over himself. He decides, as he's always wanted to be white anyway, to completely cover himself in white paint. He goes home. As soon as his mother sees him, she says, "You better wash that white off before your daddy sees you, or he'll tear you up!" Yeah, Yeah. So on the way to the bathroom, his brother meets him and beats him for being white. Before he can make it to the bathroom, his dad walks in. He yells, curses, and finally beats the kid to within an inch of his life for painting himself white. As he's scrubbing the paint off, he looks in the mirror, and says, "You know. I'm just beginning to understand this here integration crap. I done been a white boy 15 minutes and I already hate 3 niggers!"



"Harassing Truckers"
Two Georgia State Troopers are on duty watching for speeding truckers on the interstate. These 2 troopers hate truckers. They become bored and pull in behind a truck. The driver is hauling a load of bowling balls. He gets nervous with the cops behind him and pulls off onto a side street to see if the troopers will follow. On the side street, a little nigger kid standing in the street with a bicycl
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Hi!

by Josiah Hagen Monday, Jun. 14, 2004 at 11:56 AM

I posted the disgusting comment above.

I get paid by the US government to disrupt this website.

Too bad I'm not any good at it.
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