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Target Gestapos

by D.C. Saturday, Apr. 24, 2004 at 8:01 AM


Shoplifting is a crime , we all know that , it shpuld carry serious punishment but lawful punishment . Target stores are one of the most ruthless store chains out there when it comes to prosecuting it ; they also seem to over react .

In a Target store in Amarillo , Tx , Target employees spied a teenager stealing a .00 CD and waited for him outside the front door of the store . When the Target security team confronted the young man , he pulled the CD out of his jeans and returned it to them . The teenager was requested to go with them into the store to wait for the cops to make a report on the theft , when he didn't comply , the store employee laid hands on the young man and forced him into the store yelling obscenities and pushing him in front of several witnesses .

The parent of the child ended up being fined by a City Of Amarillo judge , which was fair and appropriate considering the high rate of shoplifting that occurs in the United States . The parent was angry however , with how Target went about handling the situation and has since filed charges against Target and it's employees involved for assault on a minor ; which is also a problem with law enforcement people in the United States , and apparently with corporate security teams as well .

Here is another article on Targets tactics :

Topic: My Target Shoplifting Story


Chairman_Kaga -- 03-08-2003 @ 5:19 PM

I'm not economical with words, so I'm just going to free associate this story, although it will still be very, very long.

So I bought my girlfriend a Playstation 2 for her birthday. Since the last time I played video games was when I had a Coleco-Vision in 1982, I knew nothing about the current generation of game consoles. So I did some research and asked friends from the Board and even kids and pretty much everyone said Playstation 2.

Which I now will refer to as "PS2" cause I'm cool like that.

So I buy PS2 for her and she loves it and I get her some games (which I find out are very expensive) and I even buy Madden 2003 cause that seems like the only game I might like cause I don't like video games to begin with and I especially don't like games that involve shooting or fantasy.

So she's psyched, especially since one of the games I got her was Lord of the Rings - Two Towers, even though she said the game was really easy. And despite Madden 2003, I still don't like video games.

So I'm at the store where I bought the PS2 and I'm looking at more games and I see this kid, who seems about 8 years old and looks like Bobby Bacala's kid on The Sopranos and he's just staring at the PS2 game display case with mouth agape. And I think to myself..."validate one more time", so I say to him, "young lad, what's the best game console," and he responds "PS2" as if there is any other.

I called him "young lad" cause I'm weird like that.

And then I say "Little Fat Fuck Kid who is going to grow up to be a Big Fat Guy named Rocco" (no I actually didn't say that)....I ask him..... "what's the best game for PS2" and he answers, reflexively, "Grand Theft Auto - Vice City"; again, as if there is no possible alternative answer.

He goes on to tell me that with GTAVC I can shoot prostitutes and hijack cars and on and on.

So I see another kid come up to the display case..he's like 12, and he asks the salesperson for Grand Theft Auto- Vice City, and the sales guy, who is like 50, says, "sorry you need to have your parents buy it for you." And the kid says his mom is in the store and it's ok, and the salesman says, "well then go get her", and of course, the kid leaves, dejected and crestfallen.

He does not come back with mommy.

So now I know what I'm getting and I ask the salesman for GTAVC (I'm abbreviating again now) and he asks me "how old is the kid?" And I say it's for my girlfriend. And he asks how old she is (as if I would date a 13 year old?) and I say 26. And he goes on to say he was asking because I might not know that this was a super violent game and "not for kids."

And so I respond that I realize that, and I'm purchasing the game because my girlfriend fantasizes about shooting prostitutes and hijacking cars and buying her this game might satisfy her urges without actually acting them out in real life...and this way she won't ever appear on the show "Cops" one day..... leaving me to play Madden 2003 all alone.

The salesman did not find my response amusing.

So I go to the electronics department counter to pay and as I'm paying I see a group of six mentally retarded people looking at the video games. One was in an electric wheelchair and kept knocking stuff over. And one, who looked about 25 and was severely, profoundly, retarded kept staring at the games with a plastic wallet in his hands. He was drooling and disheveled.

He was so retarded that even the state of Texas would not have executed him for committing murder during GW Bush's tenure as Governor.

He probably has met Jerry Lewis.

His name was Lenny, cause he had a tag on his jacket that said Lenny. How degrading.

OK, so I am leaving the store and right next to me is the six retarded kids. And all of a sudden, as Lenny began to exit the Target, he gets stopped by two undercover security guards. Now these are the ones that are undercover but you can tell they are undercover security guards. And they ask Lenny for his receipt for the Dr. Pepper Red Fusion that he is drinking. And this higher functioning guy in the group produces a receipt for the sodas that they are drinking. Then the security guards ask Lenny to produce the receipt for the "cd's that you have on you."

And now Lenny looks totally clueless and his friends look frightened in that certain developmentally disabled, yet panicked, way.

So Lenny produces nothing and all of a sudden this guy runs up to the scene. He is like the Target "SWAT Shoplifting Team Leader." If you didn't know this already, Target apparently takes shoplifting very seriously, and this guy did not look like a guy who looked like an undercover security guard.

He looked like an off-duty cop who was in the Marines for 5 years. And he meant business.

So this SWAT guy (I'll call him Animal Mother for the purposes of this story) gets in Lenny's face and totally screams at him and then says "give me the cd's." And Lenny looks only afraid because he understands yelling. And so Animal Mother then unzips Lenny's jacket forcefully and starts pulling out cd after cd.

He pulls out 18 CDs.

They are all Celine Dion CDs.

So Animal Mother asks Lenny for the receipt which he obviously does not have and the other 5 group home kids are really nervous and I'm just watching and having an empathy attack but also getting really, really, angry at the way this Target SWAT guy is treating a severely developmentally disabled adult.

So Animal Mother says, "get the manager and call the cops" and by this time a crowd of like 20 people have gathered around the inside of the store to watch like you do when passing a bad car accident.

So now I'm really, really, really, pissed and I say to Animal Mother, "hey big shot, can't you see this kid is profoundly retarded and does not have the capacity to know what's going on?" And this pisses off Animal Mother and he says, "why don't you mind your own business and leave the store."

(This gets me angrier.)

So I say, "hey big shot, aren't you so proud you busted this kid, you're acting like you caught Osama Bin Laden."

(The crowd is now laughing and I can tell they are totally with me.)

So Animal Mother raises his voice to me and says "shoplifting is a serious crime and this kid is going to get arrested. What are you gonna do about it?"

(So now I go into a mode that took years of mostly unsuccessful anger management therapy to keep in check.)

I tell the guy that the kid will not be arrested. I say that, at most, the head of the group home will come and claim custody and this kid who has absolutely no capacity to understand the nature of the crime he committed and that I'm a doctor and I testify in court during mental capacity hearings all the time and this kid is protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act and Target is going to have a real PR problem on its hands when I testify as a witness that I saw a security guard rip open the kid's coat and intimidate him.

(I am in total spew mode at this point and making shit up as I go.)

So now we have a scene like a Mexican standoff. And so now the Target Manager, all decked out in the more expensive brands of red shirt and beige khakis, comes and sees that I've created more of a scene and everyone in the crowd is on Lenny's side and now they are yelling at Animal Mother.

So the manager tells Animal Mother to go back "to the office," gathers up the 18 Celine Dion CDs, and says, "just go and don't come back" to the retarded group.

And the crowd cheers.

But then the real cops show up.

And they walk in all pumped up and ready to arrest the shoplifter and ask where he is. And the manager says he took care of it. But Animal Mother comes back and starts in and says to the cops that they need to arrest this guy, since despite the fact that he "may be retarded" he still committed a crime.

And the cops are siding with the SWAT security guard.

So this older woman tells the lead cop that "this young man" (me) took care of the situation and "just go back to the precinct." And the lead cop then goes up to me and gets in my face and asks me how I "took care of the situation."

And the cop asks me.."how can you prove he is so retarded that he was incapable of understanding that he was committing a crime?"

(The cop has a valid point.)

So I go.......

(and now everyone in the crowd is waiting on my response...)

"Who else but a retard would try to steal 18 Celine Dion CDs."

And the crowd breaks up laughing and the cop even laughs and some guy even gives me a high five.

The cops leave. No arrest.

So I ask Lenny for his plastic wallet and the only thing in it is play money (I didn't know they made that anymore) and an ID for a group home with a number to call "if I am lost." And I call the number from my cell and within 10 minutes this panicked woman shows up and explains that she takes the group home residents to malls and stores every now and then and she always supervises them but she had to "run an errand" and was on her way back to pick them up and now she is going to get fired.

And she gets all pissed at me.

So I call the group home number again and report her to the supervisor, hoping to protect Lenny from the ire of the errand running chick who gets paid to supervise these people but instead uses stores as babysitters so she can go out and smoke or something.

And the supervisor gets on the phone and says "the woman is already fired, I'm dealing with it, don't worry and God Bless you for what you did, and we are already sending another bus to pick up the residents with a different "counselor."

So this woman who left the retarded kids there is really pissed because she knows she's in deep shit and obviously was told to stay at the Target with the kids until someone else got there.

And as I leave, one of the retarded kids thanks me and asks me what I bought and I show him the Grand Theft Auto Vice City game and he gets all psyched.

And I go to leave the store.

And as I leave, the group home counselor who left the residents there unsupervised screams at me...

"You're a sick bastard for buying games like that for your kids."


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Listed below are the 10 latest comments of 7 posted about this article.
These comments are anonymously submitted by the website visitors.
TARGET SUCKS Popeye Saturday, Apr. 24, 2004 at 8:18 AM
THEY ASSAULTED ME JO-JO Saturday, Apr. 24, 2004 at 8:52 AM
It takes a village to raise a child Border Raven Tuesday, Dec. 20, 2005 at 2:05 AM
reply Jammer CC Tuesday, Dec. 20, 2005 at 2:18 AM
Village Justice johnk Tuesday, Dec. 20, 2005 at 8:18 PM
Target Sucks John Doe Thursday, Oct. 01, 2009 at 5:47 PM

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