Dear “President” Bush, Bush Administration, and Bonesmen,

I am writing to put your administration on notice that the people of the WORLD are going to hold you accountable to international law! Check the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. You're going to have to make a few changes in the way you do business whether you like it or not.

We in the global peace and justice movement are opposed to violence. You are the promoters of violence and proliferators of weapons of mass destruction. We are opposed to terrorism in all its forms. Members of your administration are past sponsors of terrorism and current masterminds of state terrorism. You are tied to a hierarchy whether in government or corporate piracy (Enron, WorldCom, Halliburton's Brown and Root...). We are part of a worldwide, neighborhood-based, decentralized network that is ever evolving on an organic basis.

Your apparent strengths – huge multinational conglomerates and monopolies, domination of the media (by Skull and Bones and the corporate way), and massive destructive power – really are your achiles heel. Nature is resilient. As the movement becomes more successful at marginalizing power-hungry ecocidal maniacs like you, your forces will continue to pursue your own strategies of decentralization – the subcontracting, the CIA “asset” model.

You may continue your futile attempts to infiltrate our groups, but you will find that we are not interested in destructive acts. So if your agents act in a way that violates our principles, they will be exposed, but if they act in accord with our principles, they can only help us! The more you try to innovate, decentralize, diversify, the more you will help smooth the way to peaceful diplomacy and true democracy.

Let us step out of this nightmare together. Think more like Jesus and less like his crucifiers! Don’t get bogged-down in antiquated, failed ways of thinking. Friends of peace and international human rights law are everywhere. We are in every neighborhood, slum, ghetto, barrio, and village in the world, and we are getting to know one another.

There is room at the table for you if you will join us.



Stan Call

Whittier

Dear Stanford,

Thank you for writing your letter to the POTUS (that's me! YEEEEE-HAAAWWWWW!)

I promise, when you send 2 more o' them Honeycomb(tm) box tops, I WILL send you your very own Bonesman "Skully" decoder ring.

In the meantime, crack open a beer and relax. The "people of the world" are screwed up enough.

Sincerely,

W.

What a great letter Stan. You should be a writer for Saturday Night Live. You really do know how to write a good parody of these unwashed anti-globalization twits. I got a great belly laugh reading it.

I loved this phrase: "We at the global peace and justice movement." What a great line to describe an unsavory mob of unruly hippies. Global peace and justice movement -- ha ha ha! Great!

This one's good too: " You may continue your futile attempts to infiltrate our groups." Hilarious. Can you imagine Geoge Bush dressed up in funny clothes, walking around with silly signs, and not bathing for a week. Picture George dressed up like these bozos and pretending to be one of them. Ohhh, that's good.

However, this one is not funny and is unfortunately true: "We are in every neighborhood, slum, ghetto, barrio, and village in the world." I was in San Francisco last week and they've got them on every corner, cup in hand, pushing a shopping cart along the street containing all their worldly belongings. They are everywhere (but hopefully not many in Beverly Hills, Mill Valley, and other Republican strongholds. That's where we'll build our defenses.