February 20, 2004

Edwards-Kerry Debate Still Needs Opponent

(2004-02-20) -- Democrat presidential candidate John Edwards will debate rival John Forbes Kerry as soon as an opponent can be found, according to a spokesman from the Democrat National Committee (DNC).

"If it were just the two Senator Johns, they would have to spend an hour talking about their slight disagreements over NAFTA," said the unnamed DNC spokesman. "So we're scouting for someone who could actually present an opposing view on the economy, foreign policy, health care, public education, abortion, homosexual marriage and a host of other issues on which the Senator Johns agree."

The DNC spokesman said if the party can't find a Democrat with an opposing viewpoint, the two candidates will simply hold hands and recite policy papers prepared for them by the National Education Association, the National Abortion Rights Action League, the AFL-CIO, U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan and The New York Times.

by Scott Ott