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Impeached Crook needs Job

by wavemaster Sunday, May. 18, 2003 at 2:32 AM

Spread this around.

RESUME George W. Bush White House Pensylvania Avenue Washington, DC 911911

Private Work History

  1. Ran for congress and lost.
  2. Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
  3. Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after he sold all his stock.
  4. Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs.
  5. With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments
  1. Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
  2. Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.
  3. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
  4. Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
  5. Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of his father's appointments to the Supreme Court. Accomplishments as President
    1. Attacked and took over two countries.
    2. Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
    3. Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
    4. Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
    5. Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stockmarket.
    6. First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
    7. First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
    8. First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
    9. After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presidedover the worst security failure in US history.
    10. Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips of anypresident in US history.
    11. In his first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
    12. Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
    13. Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
    14. Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
    15. Set the record for the least number of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
    16. Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
    17. Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
    18. Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
    19. Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
    20. Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
    21. Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
    22. His presidency is the most secretive and n-accountable of any in US history.
    23. Members of his cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
    24. First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
    25. Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
    26. First president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
    27. Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
    28. Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
    29. First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
    30. First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
    31. Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
    32. Has tried to rendered the United Nations irrelevant.
    33. Withdrew from the International Criminal Court.
    34. Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default and no longer abides by the Geneva Conventions.
    35. First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
    36. All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
    37. His biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
    38. Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
    39. First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
    40. First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
    41. Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
    42. With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
    43. Fist US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
    44. Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
    45. Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
    46. Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
    47. Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months he has no leads and zero suspects.
    48. n the 18 months following the 911 attacks has successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
    49. Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any \other president in US history.
    50. In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
    51. Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down. Records and References
    52. At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
    53. AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
    54. Refused to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
    55. All records of his tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to his fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
    56. All records of any SEC investigations into his insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
    57. All minutes of meetings for any public corporation where he served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
    58. Any records or minutes from meetings he (or his VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.
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