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Hey War Dudes, Lighten Up!

by Kevin Allen Thursday, Mar. 27, 2003 at 5:37 AM

Art needs to work a little harder.

One of those video-graphic cyber-joke circulars arrived in my e-mail today. It’s basically a re-dubbed sequence of Bush and Blair singing along to a ballad, like they’re sort of in love with each other. Very rad, thigh slapping stuff..... just one of the many anonymously ‘cool’ things currently bumming it’s way around cyber space.

One would hope that the seriousness of the current carnage and suffering might somehow transcend such lame satire but I guess it's aim was to provide us with a little comic relief during these trying times. Yes, while human beings are literally being burned, ripped apart and blown off the face of the earth, I'm really glad that some half-witted lounge lizard has managed to come up with such a sardonic gem.

Was this 'meaningful little piece' supposed to represent some significant opposition to the powers that be?... some sense of solidarity in the face of global mayhem? Is this cleverly dubbed work of art representative of an emerging new socialism? If only. But it was probably just the lunchtime whim of a bored graphics protégé working at some hip graphics company. Is this simple sketch supposed to reinforce the idea that Bush and Blair, galvanised as one, are the real problem in this big bad world? And that Saddam 'Loony Bin' Hussain is merely a convenient smokescreen, ready and available to accommodate their long term scullduggery? If only it were that simple. If only.

The relationship between Bush and Blair is being foolishly misconceived by liberal simpletons. And by liberal, I mean liberal in the true sense of the word. Socialism, as we all know, died when the Clash split up and showed no signs of a UK revival with the arrival of Mr. Blair wearing a pink tie. Since the heady old days of Red Ken and The Ramones, most of us street-cred socialista's were let off the hook by the anti-climatic failure of communism. We passively melted away into the uncomplicated warmth of the capitalist milieu, I myself self-condemned to the sold-out wasteland of a film industry where so called ‘artists’ command ten million dollars and upwards to appear in a feature film, and I can only, in the eleventh hour shame, own up to being involved in it all.

Anyway, while Bush is a slightly retarded figurehead of an administration hell bent on world domination and going to war; Blair, by almost embarrassing contrast, is an intelligent politician and statesman, who genuinely believes that stopping Hussain by force was something 'we' had to do and is still prepared to stake his political future on it. Surely the crafty desert fox is merely greasing the channel tunnel rails in the hope of becoming the president of a future United Europe. It’s just a perfectly viable career opening and who could blame the ambitious little Islington shit?

The notion that British oil is the sole motivation behind this special transatlantic relationship was worth considering a year ago perhaps, but even an idiot like me knows that this is not entirely true. And the idea that Bush is as bad as Saddam Hussain is just ridiculous. Will those lemmings who believe this simplistic nonsense expect a dollop of geranium oil to protect them from Korean, or any other brand of radiation, when an un-American weapon of mass destruction lands in their organic veggy patch in the not too distant future?

But anyway, this nugget of comic relief, this unplanned juxtaposition of media, shall we call it, seemed to really kick something home. This mess isn't really about Bush and Blair, is it? It’s about all of us. All of us who have been floating along, kidding ourselves that everything is somehow going to be alright on the night. That everything is going to be all right when we get rid of naughty old Saddam. And perhaps a couple of peace marches under our Prada belts will alleviate the guilt.

Bush is just an obnoxious cowboy jacking off while the really scary guys (not the GI’s and the Squaddies) but the really scary guys in grey suits and ties are literally about to 'have it away' in the Persian Gulf. Bush and Blair, for different reasons, have been cleverly forced into this situation. A situation created by a blue-chip task force of multi-national businessmen, of every colour and creed, with more clout than any aircraft carrier (carrying the weaponry that these racketeers negotiated the manufacture of in the first place). The complex divvying-up of Eurasia by cynical, greedy, corporate frat-boys, both Christian and Islamic, is what should be counteracted and thwarted before the cacka really hits the fan.

And perhaps the conveniently sidelined situation in Israel and Palestine might need addressing in the process. Make no mistake, what is happening in Israel is verging on Nazism. Sure, no-one is being experimented on or sent to a gas oven, but will it take a bomb on the Disney Lot before the Billionaire Hollywood rabbi's get the drift and actually do something towards creating peace in that region and maybe stop the psychopathic Sharon doing what he's doing? Sure, Arrafat's a scumbag too, but what have those people actually got? How desperate must the human spirit be to have to go and blow yourself up in order to be heard? If this has been the subject of discussion in Hollywood since 9-11, then I’ve not been remotely aware of it.

I can only imagine how many billions of viewers around the globe are transfixed by these anaesthetizing fireside CNN reports relaying the pin-point accuracy of how allied missile sorties are brilliantly finding their way down Saddam’s chimney pots. However, much of the supposed objectivity being displayed by news correspondents in Iraq is actually carefully subjective nonsense. In an attempt to hoodwink the public at large, we are led to believe that a Pentagon-vetted ‘imbedded’ press corps is telling it like it really is. Uncontaminated independent journalists, brave enough to remain in the theatre of war without conditional protection have to stand at the back of the auditorium and write their wartime reports as best their limited accreditation will allow. While many at home are impressed with the ‘riveting’ nature of the fireworks on display, one has to wonder what this Hollywood-style, homo-eroticized, warnography really says to the rest of the civilized world?

The mainstream news network has become an cesspool of lies and while this corporate media monopoly holds the reigns of a so called democracy, nothing is going to change for the better unless that grip is truly realised and contested. With the help of their TV, radio and print counterparts, the gangsters in Washington decided to go to war a long time ago and amount of shouting and waving placards is going to change their plans.

Surely a safe, happy future, a world away from this impending generic existence can only depend on us using our communication skills, our true sense of collective responsibility to stop this corporate system working it's way through our lives like a cancer.

I feel increasingly guilty and more than adequately ashamed that I depend on this greedy, self obsessed system to earn a living, a system made up of desperate human beings who have been trained to compete and win at all costs, regardless of truth, justice and consequences, who do not know the true value of anything.

God knows what the answer is, but perhaps we ( and the likes of that video graphic protégé ) could turn our talents to something a little more worthwhile. Because as we face the hell of what these dreadful people have created, there must be something we can do besides making hip, glib little satirical screen savers.

But, hey dudes, maybe we should all just lighten up.

Yours Sincerely,

Captain Kevin Edward Allen

HMS Hollywood.

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What, then? Spitfire Thursday, Mar. 27, 2003 at 10:37 AM
The alternative is between the lines IPOHobo Thursday, Mar. 27, 2003 at 8:01 PM

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