(Rejected - too honest)

George Bush, White House Resident

My fellow Americans, you stand before me as humble sheep, cowering together in fear.  You should be afraid.  You should be very afraid.

<applause>

The fascist revolution is in full swing.  After assuming power two years ago, I began the greatest transfer of wealth in American history.  This transfer continues.  Corporate America has never before enjoyed such close and intimate friends in the White House.

<applause>

Rising unemployment, diminishing social services, and eroding civil rights have created the ideal climate for corporatist advantage.  Terrorism and war promise to reduce the surplus population.

<applause>

Our increasingly aggressive military has taken advantage of recent events.  We are now in position to seize needed resources from foreign nations and hold them to our own benefit.  The conflagration I have planned for the Middle East promises to change the demographics and balance of power in the region.  We will ethnically cleanse the Middle East and make it secure for Israeli expansion.

<standing ovation>

Our Judeo-Christian Crusade against the Islamic peoples is on the precipice of completion.  I have authorized consideration of the use of nuclear weapons to this end.  I hope that Allah has prepared several hundred million virgins.

<applause and laughter>

We are one people.  We have one cause.  I am your one leader.  I rally the American people behind my just cause.  I remind those who recoil that you are either with us or against us.  I remind those who are against us that I can declare you, at any time, without evidence, to be an enemy combatant.  I can, and have, held Americans in military jails without charges and without access to lawyers.  I can, and have, permitted the CIA to use torture against captives.  I can, and have, sent captives to nations better experienced at torture where they have received the most complete and thorough torture services available today.  I can, and have, authorized the CIA to kill those I declare to be enemies, without trial.

<wild applause>

And for those of you who are not with us - you know who you are - who question my authority in your homes, I remind you that the NSA monitors your communications, the FBI employs roving wiretaps and monitors your online communications, your neighbors watch you and call in tips, and whenever we choose we can enter your homes, without your knowledge, in order to "sneak and peek."

<applause>

I realize that some of you have continued to speak up despite these sanctions.  I also know that you realize that we have taken measures to slow you down, intimidate, and harass you.  Scott Ritter is a good example of our power to make you pay a price for disobedience.

<applause>

Senators and Representatives, I'm sure the white powder sent in the mail did not escape your notice.  I am sure, as well, that the tragic demise of Senator Wellstone shocked you deeply.  Sacrifices must be made to advance the cause of my corporatist revolution.  Look upon these events as a warning.  Keep in line and serve the glorious Homeland and you will be spared such infelicities.

<muffled applause>

Watch the media and remember, we control the horizontal and the vertical.   We control the Zeitgeist through our control of the perception of reality.  There is no escape.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.

<silence>