Other State of the Union Address
- too honest)
George Bush, White House
My fellow Americans, you stand
before me as humble sheep, cowering together in fear. You should be
afraid. You should be very afraid.
The fascist revolution is in
full swing. After assuming power two years ago, I began the greatest
transfer of wealth in American history. This transfer
continues. Corporate America has never before enjoyed such close and
intimate friends in the White House.
diminishing social services, and eroding civil rights have created the
ideal climate for corporatist advantage. Terrorism and war promise
to reduce the surplus population.
Our increasingly aggressive
military has taken advantage of recent events. We are now in
position to seize needed resources from foreign nations and hold them to
our own benefit. The conflagration I have planned for the Middle
East promises to change the demographics and balance of power in the
region. We will ethnically cleanse the Middle East and make it
secure for Israeli expansion.
Our Judeo-Christian Crusade
against the Islamic peoples is on the precipice of completion. I
have authorized consideration of the use of nuclear weapons to this
end. I hope that Allah has prepared several hundred million virgins.
<applause and laughter>
We are one people. We
have one cause. I am your one leader. I rally the American
people behind my just cause. I remind those who recoil that you are
either with us or against us. I remind those who are against us that
I can declare you, at any time, without evidence, to be an enemy
combatant. I can, and have, held Americans in military jails without
charges and without access to lawyers. I can, and have, permitted
the CIA to use torture against captives. I can, and have, sent
captives to nations better experienced at torture where they have received
the most complete and thorough torture services available today. I
can, and have, authorized the CIA to kill those I declare to be enemies,
And for those of you who are
not with us - you know who you are - who question my authority in your
homes, I remind you that the NSA monitors your communications, the FBI
employs roving wiretaps and monitors your online communications, your
neighbors watch you and call in tips, and whenever we choose we can enter
your homes, without your knowledge, in order to "sneak and
I realize that some of you
have continued to speak up despite these sanctions. I also know that
you realize that we have taken measures to slow you down, intimidate, and
harass you. Scott Ritter is a good example of our power to make you
pay a price for disobedience.
Senators and Representatives,
I'm sure the white powder sent in the mail did not escape your
notice. I am sure, as well, that the tragic demise of Senator
Wellstone shocked you deeply. Sacrifices must be made to advance the
cause of my corporatist revolution. Look upon these events as a
warning. Keep in line and serve the glorious Homeland and you will
be spared such infelicities.
Watch the media and remember,
we control the horizontal and the vertical. We control the
Zeitgeist through our control of the perception of reality. There is
no escape. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.