In life, there are always those who think they can hitch a free ride on the soft and tender underbelly of society. These maggots believe that they have a right to take as much as they can without putting anything in. They are lower than thieves, because at least the thief puts in a bit of effort. These people, who appear in many forms, want to steal, but they expect you to fucking hand it to them!

So, who are these burdens on our lives? Well, they include religious leaders, round-the-world yachtsmen, the disabled, homosexuals, the mentally ill and new age travellers. However, there is one group who are far fucking worse than all these put together - fucking anarchists.

Anarchy is, as a political ideology, so fucking flawed that even a six year old child in a coma can see the shit building up. So why in the name of all that is sane does it attract so many followers? It is because they are lazy cunts, that's why! Anarchy offers them a political banner which they can use to hide the fact that they are bone idle, socially under-developed, a bit retarded, dull and inadequate. That is all anarchy can offer them, because it is a crock of shit as far as a lifestyle choice goes. Let me explain.

Anarchists claim they want to opt out of modern society to create some other social structure (they can't make up their fucking minds what that alternative social structure will be, because they haven't an intelligent thought between themselves). They don't actually want to create this alternative paradise, because then they might have to get out of bed and do some fucking work. So they opt out of society and do fuck all. Few anarchists have jobs, and those who do are hated by their co-workers for being lazy, belligerent and smelly. So they opt out of employment (or doing their jobs properly) because it represents the evil capitalist culture which destroys the individual. Funny how they don't opt out of social security too!

All anarchists (even those who are working) claim social security benefits, and then spend the money on cheap cider, tobacco and shitty punk rock records. They seem far too fucking willing to embrace society's hand-outs for people seeking an alternative lifestyle. So long as they can lie in their beds (made by capitalists) in their houses (made by capitalists) watching day-time TV (made by capitalists) and masturbating, they're happy. They collect their dole cheques, get pissed and sodomise each other once a week, and then go back to bed.

They are too lazy to wash, too lazy to work, too lazy to even think about their political convictions. They're even too lazy to communicate with each other. Anarchists are socially retarded, and are out of touch with the real world. The majority of anarchists are virgins, unable to strike up a conversation let alone take another person to bed. That's why they spend most of their time wanking.

You might be thinking about anarchist women, but don't bother. They are pig ugly stinking old boilers with crusts on their cunts. It stands to reason. Why would a pretty girl become an anarchist? She can flash her tits and get jewellery, fast cars and a husband who'll shower her in credit cards. The ugly cows who want to opt out couldn't get a bag of cold chips for a bunk-up!

So, how do these lazy fuckers live if they spend all the benefits on cider? They shoplift. It's as simple as that. All anarchists are shop lifters, but they'll say that's not true, because they're all fucking liars as well. They talk about revolution and acts against the state, but all they ever do is steal tins of tuna from the local corner shop. Most anarchists don't eat meat, because they say it is against the law of nature. The truth is that it's harder to steal. Meat is Murder is a common enough slogan; what the berry-chewing veggie cunts should be saying is Meat Is Murder To Steal. It is not impossible for them to shove a tin of tuna down their pants when Mr Patel isn't looking, but try it with a leg of lamb, and you've got problems.

Anarchists are socially inadequate, and therefore seek out the company of other dick-heads like themselves. They sit around in public lavatories talking about overthrowing the Government of the day when in reality they haven't got the energy to drop their trousers if they need to take a shit. The only time they might stir their stinking bodies is if a young child tries to use the lavatories.

Now, let's recap. Anarchists are lazy wankers who commit petty crime and don't wash. However, they do spend an inordinate amount of the waking hours trying to persuade others (albeit badly) that they are serious political activists. As a result, they actually believe the bullshit they are spouting and think the world owes them something. Yes indeed, it seems we all owe them a luxurious lifestyle because they're smelly retards.

Next time someone tells you they're an anarchist, you know exactly what they mean. Without speaking, just punch them in the face and walk away. Oh, and wash your hands as soon as possible!

2 Facts about anarchists:

A) In 100 per cent of cases, when police arrest male anarchists they discover that their underpants are encrusted with dried sperm.

B) Anarchists prefer to mug elderly people, so they don't have to run away too fast.