----- Original Message ----- 

 From: Bin Laden, Osama  

 Sent: Monday, November 19, 2001 8:17 AM  

 To: Cavemates  

 Subject: The Cave  

 Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come  

 together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the  

 poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says "Hang  

 In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a  

 jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few  

 concerns.  

 First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we  

 should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you  

 don't want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave  

 daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.  

 Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to  

 scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're  

 taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while  

 we're taping. Thanks.  

 Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not  

 supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene,  

 especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.  

 Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama"  

 on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.  

 Consideration. That's all I'm saying.  

 Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying  

 to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them.  

 First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.  

 Love you lots.  

 Osama