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The Indy Business Report

by Alan Greenspend Friday, Oct. 12, 2001 at 11:03 AM
smokey backroom

The recent ramping up of American flag sales has had a stimulating effect in the antenna sector

AUTO ANTENNA SALES CLIMB

Investors are scrambling for shares in the auto antenna market since the September 11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. The recent ramping up of American flag sales has had a stimulating effect in the antenna sector. The profusion of ridiculously oversized flags on US auto antennas has resulted in a marked increase in antenna failure. The replacement antenna market is far from saturated. In fact, manufacturers are having a difficult time keeping retailer’s shelves in stock.

Antenna sales analyst Rod Wagler says “All this flag waving makes good economic sense. Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m as much a patriot as any, even more so when I can make a profit from it!” Wagler and his colleagues are recommending that investors get in on the ground floor of this rapidly expanding market. “I’m bullish on anything that moves with a flag on it”, he exclaimed, “The President has advocated that we get out there and shop. It’s the American way. I might add: an ounce of prevention is worth a….er…a quintal of cure, why not stock up on antennas now and avoid the rush later!”

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Now, let’s do the numbers!

Percentage of the world’s population comprised of US citizens: 5%

Percentage of the world’s resources consumed by US citizens: 30%

Percentage of world’s fossil fuels used annually by US citizens 25%

Percentage of all humans in the world who own a car: 8%

Percentage of US households who own one or more cars: 89%

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