Axis of Evil Behind Hurricane of Mass Destruction Tom Von Ridge, Department of Fatherland Security

Al-Qaeda has teamed up with brutal dictator and sex industry leader, Fidel Castro.  Recent chatter indicates that Osama bin-Laden obtained the permission of Cuban President Fidel Castro to provide safe passage to hurricane Ivan as it traverses Cuba on its way to a US Military base in Pensacola, Florida.  Ivan, a category five hurricane, packs the destructive power of a nuclear arsenal and promises to do its best to disrupt the American political campaign season.

Proof of Cuban involvement in Ivan was found hidden on the Communist website, Granma, an organ of Fidel Castro's disobedient regime.  Attempts to contact Granma have failed.  Corroborating reports of Communist cooperation with the Ivan plot have been discovered within in this document, where Fidel Castro admits removing the Cuban people from its path, thereby decreasing the resistive mass that would otherwise aid in slowing the hurricane down.  By removing the Cuban people from Ivan's path, Castro is aiding and abetting a hurricane of mass destruction.

Cuban Madman, Fidel Castro

Cuban madman, Fidel Castro, has expressed no concern for the lives of innocent Americans likely to be taken by Ivan.

The Department of Fatherland Security asks all Americans to be vigilant for signs of hurricane cooperation.  Specifically, report pregnant women, "Americans" dressed as Catholic priests and brown skinned persons that seem out of place to Fatherland Security or your local law enforcement office.