Libertarian Free-Marketers

by Tom Tomorrow, (c) 2000

Panel 1: The Libertarian Think Tanks are truly adept at introducing completely ludicrous ideas into mainstream political discourse... For instance, who would have ever expected the privatization of Social Security to be discussed as if it were acutally a RATIONAL PROPOSAL

Man: Well, what could make more sense? The Market ALWAYS pays off in the long run!

Woman: Just, um, try not to retire during a down-turn

Panel 2: Not to mention the ongoing debate over SCHOOL VOUCHERS--Which, proponents have recently taken to arguing, are necessary because the PUBLIC school system actually constitutes a GOVERNMENT MONOPOLY...

G-Man 1: DAMN those robber barons--Forcing us to pay for their schools whether we WANT to or NOT!

G-Man 2: Yes--Of What POSSIBLE benefit could the education of the next generation of Amercians be to US?

Panel 3: And--this is absolutely true--I recently ran across a column by an unabashed Free-Marketer decrying our system on public ROADS as an example of CREEPING SOCIALISM...

Man on Motorcycle: There are streets everywhere you LOOK--and nobody's making a DIME off them!

Man on Scooter: I tell you, it's UN-AMERICAN!

Panel 4: It's hard to predict what these hard working wordsmiths will come up with NEXT in pursuit of their own peculiar utopian vision... But we'll all undoubtedly find out SOON ENOUGH... (in background, plaque: The Patriotism Foundation - Rationalizing Greed Since 1999)

Man 1: The national forests belong to ALL Americans-- Including those who own LOGGING COMPANIES!

Man 2: You wouldn't expect someone to give you a FREE CADILLAC--So why do you expect to enjoy FREE SUNSHINE?

Man 3: If the Founding Fathers had wanted AUTO EMISSION STANDARDS--they'd have put them into the CONSTITUTION!

Typical libertarian responses:

"Nonlibertarians believe that government can solve all our problems and take care of us."

Talk about your sweeping generalizations... I think only the most die-hard marxists might believe such a thing, and even them I'm not so sure. This is typical reductionist thinking, or, a classic straw man: misrepresent anothers opinions in a way that makes it seem foolish.

"Nonlibertarians think that if you throw money at a "problem" the "problem" will go away."

Some people do fail to learn that more money is not always a good solution (although, sometimes it is), but that includes many libertarians, who think throwing money at corporations will make things better. And if you think the givernment has a track record of failure, just look at the corporate track record.

"Don't you try to get the most bang for your buck even in mundane matters?"

No, I try to work for the common good, in all cases, even when it costs me more money. But then, that's why I don't get along with libertarians, they strike me as incredibly selfish, greedy, and self-absorbed. But I'll leave others to their values and I'll stick with mine.

Did someone off Diogenes? He was comming around to a more rational
viewpoint.

Perhaps he found someone who captured his heart --discovering that there is more to life then just caring about yourself?

But did she wound him?
but I didn't think ge was that self centered. He seemed to be a true patriot unlike these tattered flag wavers.