imc indymedia

Los Angeles Indymedia : Activist News

white themeblack themered themetheme help
About Us Contact Us Calendar Publish RSS
Features
latest news
best of news
syndication
commentary


KILLRADIO

VozMob

ABCF LA

A-Infos Radio

Indymedia On Air

Dope-X-Resistance-LA List

LAAMN List




IMC Network:

Original Cities

www.indymedia.org africa: ambazonia canarias estrecho / madiaq kenya nigeria south africa canada: hamilton london, ontario maritimes montreal ontario ottawa quebec thunder bay vancouver victoria windsor winnipeg east asia: burma jakarta japan korea manila qc europe: abruzzo alacant andorra antwerpen armenia athens austria barcelona belarus belgium belgrade bristol brussels bulgaria calabria croatia cyprus emilia-romagna estrecho / madiaq euskal herria galiza germany grenoble hungary ireland istanbul italy la plana liege liguria lille linksunten lombardia london madrid malta marseille nantes napoli netherlands nice northern england norway oost-vlaanderen paris/Île-de-france patras piemonte poland portugal roma romania russia saint-petersburg scotland sverige switzerland thessaloniki torun toscana toulouse ukraine united kingdom valencia latin america: argentina bolivia chiapas chile chile sur cmi brasil colombia ecuador mexico peru puerto rico qollasuyu rosario santiago tijuana uruguay valparaiso venezuela venezuela oceania: adelaide aotearoa brisbane burma darwin jakarta manila melbourne perth qc sydney south asia: india mumbai united states: arizona arkansas asheville atlanta austin baltimore big muddy binghamton boston buffalo charlottesville chicago cleveland colorado columbus dc hawaii houston hudson mohawk kansas city la madison maine miami michigan milwaukee minneapolis/st. paul new hampshire new jersey new mexico new orleans north carolina north texas nyc oklahoma philadelphia pittsburgh portland richmond rochester rogue valley saint louis san diego san francisco san francisco bay area santa barbara santa cruz, ca sarasota seattle tampa bay tennessee urbana-champaign vermont western mass worcester west asia: armenia beirut israel palestine process: fbi/legal updates mailing lists process & imc docs tech volunteer projects: print radio satellite tv video regions: oceania united states topics: biotech

Surviving Cities

www.indymedia.org africa: canada: quebec east asia: japan europe: athens barcelona belgium bristol brussels cyprus germany grenoble ireland istanbul lille linksunten nantes netherlands norway portugal united kingdom latin america: argentina cmi brasil rosario oceania: aotearoa united states: austin big muddy binghamton boston chicago columbus la michigan nyc portland rochester saint louis san diego san francisco bay area santa cruz, ca tennessee urbana-champaign worcester west asia: palestine process: fbi/legal updates process & imc docs projects: radio satellite tv
printable version - js reader version - view hidden posts - tags and related articles

God hacks a border crossing

by Foster Saturday, Jun. 25, 2016 at 6:00 AM
wortmuel@gmail.com

New episode of crackbird saga

June 23, 2016

Well, it has been a long trip walking back to Michigan so far. I can barely flap my arms any more and my lips are numb from humming. Even though I am walking through a grassy meadow, the ground behind me looks like a two track from my tired ass dragging so hard. I look ahead and I can see the border between the United States and Canada. The reason I can see it is because there is a small building there for people crossing to check in and out. Now if it is only an unmanned station. As I finally come up to the station, a border agent steps out and says "hello, you coming into the U.S."? For just a minute I think about telling him, " no, I am just walking backwards to the arctic circle for the Guinness book, but you caught me and I will go home now". I thought about this because I know above all else, where there is government, there is stupidity in endless quantities. I was hoping to get out of this alive, but I soon realized it was not going to happen. I answer, " yes, I am just heading home to Michigan from a trip up into the Yukon". He then says, " You'r crossing in Montana. Wouldn't it have been easier to go straight across through the upper peninsula of Michigan"? I think to myself, " no hit Sherlock, but I was hoping to cross unabated so I chose to cross here". I answer, " I am just taking the scenic route. I didn't know these remote stations were manned". He replies, " yes, but only sporadically. Today is your lucky day, if you had come by tomorrow there wouldn't have been any one here to assist you". I think to myself, " Can I just come back tomorrow"? Then he says, " can I see some ID"? I pull out my wallet and show him my drivers license and some other picture ID. He says, " ah good". Then the stupidity starts. He asks, "do you have any ID for them"? I look around thinking some one had walked up behind me. I look at him. " ID for who"? He points in the air above me and says, " them". I look up and see the humming birds, then look back at him in a gaze of disbelief. I feel my arm momentarily flinch like I am reaching for a taser, but I realize I am not a cop, so I do not have one. I raise both hands, gesturing toward the birds, and say, " they are humming birds"! He says, I know that, do you have permits to bring them into the country"? I tell, him, " I am not bring them, they are just following me". Then he says the worst thing I could have heard". " Let me call the DNR agent out here to figure this out". Oh god. a second government employee. Every time you add another government employee into the mix, the stupidity grows exponentially. Finally the DNR agent shows up and says" well, I don't know of any current laws that say that say he can't come into the country just because humming birds are following him, but just to be safe, let me call a PETA rep out here. I lean forward and start banging my head on the wall. on the intelligence scale, there is plankton, then whale poop, ( that's on the bottom of the ocean) then PETA. I start to cry and they both look at me. The agent says, " we better lock you up in here till we figure this out bud". they take me into the building and there is a small cell the size of a closet, and they lock me in it. I lean against the window sill, while the hummingbirds flit in and out through the bars. Eventually they find a tin cup and they all get together and pick it up and fly back and forth across the cell banging the cup on the bars. I close my eyes and lower my head and think to myself, " kill me god. just take me now and be merciful". The wind blowing across the prairie stops. The grass bending before the wind freezes where it is. the two agents stand frozen in time. a voice behind me says, " is that what you really want"? I turn a round and there is a George burns looking person standing in the sell behind me. I know in my heart who he is, but all I can say is, " no way"! He then retorts, " yes. Way". I tell him about my night mare thus far and how I am trying to just get home. He says, " you know I am god, and you regail me with a long story that I already know. cut to the chase and tell me what you really want". I tell him, " I am sorry for all of this. What I have done to these beautiful birds and very thing. Can you just fix them and then I can deal with the rest on my own". He looks at me sternly, and for a moment I thought his arm flinched like he was going to pull out the ultimate taser. " You gave them Jolt. do you know how hard that stuff is to get out"? Then he smiles, and holds out his hand. The hummingbirds all come over and hover above his left hand. With his right hand he makes a waving motion in a circle over them, and says, " nominee, nominee, sontu, santu. Alla you birds, get offa da sauce". ( a paraphrase stolen from Cheech and Chong). God motions his hand and the hummingbirds fly away. Then he turns to me. " will not leave you here either", he says. " I have created all of these things in the universe for all of you to enjoy, not to abuse. And you need to stop ripping on Ohio too. they can't help it if they were made from the left overs of every thing else". He smiles. I say, " but lord, I am locked in a cell, and these guys saw me". God says," did you show them your ID"? I say yes. He says, " Look at your ID". I pull out my id and look at it. The name on it says Justin Case. I smile. God motions his hand by the door and says, " Hauley- Smoot". ( a line taken from the book, Bored Of The Ring, which is a satirical book I highly recommend) and the cell door opens. then god leans into me and says, " to paraphrase Lynerd Skynard, I'lm giving you three steps mister and I better not see round here no more". then he looked at me for what seemed an eternity, and since time was frozen, it just may have been. I took off and as soon as I was out of sight of the building, the breeze began to blow and the grass to wave.

https://sites.google.com/site/wortrunner/foster

Report this post as:

Local News

GUIDE TO REBEL CITY LOS ANGELES AVAILABLE A12 5:39PM

lausd whistle blower A10 11:58PM

Website Upgrade A10 3:02AM

Help KCET and UCLA identify 60s-70s Chicano images A04 1:02PM

UCLA Luskin: Casting Youth Justice in a Different Light A02 11:58AM

Change Links April 2018 A01 11:27AM

Nuclear Shutdown News March 2018 M31 6:57PM

Join The Protest Rally in Glendale on April 10, 2018! M29 7:00PM

Join The Protest Rally in Glendale on April 10, 2018! M29 6:38PM

Spring 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert! M19 2:02PM

Anti-Eviction Mapping Project Shows Shocking Eviction Trends in L.A. M16 5:40PM

Steve Mnuchin video at UCLA released M15 12:34AM

Actress and Philanthropist Tanna Frederick Hosts Project Save Our Surf Beach Clean Ups M06 12:10PM

After Being Told He's 'Full of Sh*t' at School Event, Mnuchin Demands UCLA Suppress Video M02 11:44AM

Resolution of the Rent Strike in Boyle Heights M01 6:28PM

What Big Brother Knows About You and What You Can Do About It M01 3:30PM

Step Up As LAPD Chief Charlie Beck Steps Down F14 2:44PM

Our House Grief Support Center Hosts 9th Annual Run For Hope, April 29 F13 12:51PM

Don’t let this LA County Probation Department overhaul proposal sit on the shelf F13 11:04AM

Echo Park Residents Sue LA Over Controversial Development F12 8:51AM

Former Signal Hill police officer pleads guilty in road-rage incident in Irvine F09 10:25PM

Calif. Police Accused of 'Collusion' With Neo-Nazis After Release of Court Documents F09 7:14PM

Center for the Study of Political Graphics exhibit on Police Abuse posters F07 9:50AM

City Agrees to Settle Lawsuit Claiming Pasadena Police Officer Had His Sister Falsely Arre F04 3:17PM

Professor's Study Highlights Health Risks of Urban Oil Drilling F04 12:42PM

Claims paid involving Pasadena Police Department 2014 to present F04 10:52AM

Pasadenans - get your license plate reader records from police F03 11:11PM

LA Times Homicide Report F03 1:57PM

More Local News...

Other/Breaking News

UN Forum Wrestles with Economic Policies 10 Years After Financial Crisis Islands Call for A24 12:34PM

Xyloglossie attitudinale A23 8:07AM

Shadowgun Legends Hack and Cheats A23 7:24AM

What does the Quran Say About Islamic Dress?? A21 4:15PM

Biodiversité ou la nature privatisée A20 11:22AM

The Market is a Universal Totalitarian Religion A20 7:14AM

Book Available about Hispanics and US Civil War by National Park Service A19 5:52PM

The Shortwave Report 04/20/18 Listen Globally! A19 4:01PM

The Republican 'Prolife' Party Is the Party of War, Execution, and Bear Cub Murder A19 11:48AM

Neurogenèse involutive A18 9:21AM

Paraphysique de la dictature étatique A16 10:13AM

Book Review: "The New Bonapartists" A16 3:45AM

The West Must Take the First Steps to Russia A14 12:25PM

Théorie générale de la révolution ou hommage à feu Mikhaïl Bakounine A14 3:30AM

The Shortwave Report 04/13/18 Listen Globally! A12 3:50PM

“Lost in a Dream” Singing Competition Winner to Be Chosen on April 15 for ,000 Prize! A12 3:48PM

The World Dependent on Central Banks A12 4:43AM

Ohio Governor Race: Dennis Kucinich & Richard Cordray Run Against Mike DeWine A11 9:40PM

March 2018 Honduras Coup Again Update A10 10:52PM

Apologie du zadisme insurrectionnel A10 3:33PM

ICE contract with license plate reader company A10 1:14PM

Palimpseste sisyphéen A09 11:23PM

Black Portraiture(S) IV: The Color of Silence...Cuba No...Cambridge Yes A09 5:32AM

Prohibiting Micro-Second Betting on the Exchanges A09 4:18AM

Prosecutors treat Muslims harsher than non-Muslims for the same crimes A08 10:33PM

Amy Goodman interview on cell phone safety A08 10:29PM

Mesa, Arizona police officer kills unarmed white man A08 9:50PM

Israeli leaders should be prosecuted for war crimes A08 9:48PM

More Breaking News...
© 2000-2018 Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Unless otherwise stated by the author, all content is free for non-commercial reuse, reprint, and rebroadcast, on the net and elsewhere. Opinions are those of the contributors and are not necessarily endorsed by the Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Running sf-active v0.9.4 Disclaimer | Privacy