- js reader version
- view hidden posts
- tags and related articles
by Charlotte Laws
Friday, Apr. 06, 2012 at 12:24 AM
Politics is where the power is, so if women desire that power, why does testosterone consume the room when it is time to affect change?
The “oldest living profession” was the backdrop for the oddest existing beauty pageant.
Nine gals were vying for the nation’s most coveted award: Miss Hooker 2012. The competition was held at the Dragonfly Bar in Hollywood, California. Questions darted through my head. Where was the tenth shady lady listed on the event flyer? Was she strolling down the runway at the county jail? Was Donald Trump her “one phone call”?
Was this a battle of beauty, brains and bedroom skills; or something altogether different? And if turning tricks was a pageant prerequisite, what about an arrest record? Would this mean bonus points or disqualification? Might someone win Miss Congeniality; or were all gals deemed “congenial” by thriving in this “people person” profession in the first place?
After arriving at the contest, I learned my preconceived notions were premature: none of the girls were hookers. In fact, during backstage interviews with several contestants, I learned they had never even met a call girl.
“Frankly, I’m more qualified to be Miss Hooker than you,” I told Miss Anthropy, a tall brunette immersed in silver sequins. “At least, I’ve known prostitutes.”
Another competitor told me she had a serious crush on Johnny Depp, thus if given the opportunity, would charge him zero for her services. I informed her she clearly lacked the business acumen to work in this specialized field.
The talent competition was another area of consternation. One girl ate a hot dog. Another read a book on stage and still another twirled the hula hoop--clearly not the skills I expected from Heidi Fleiss wannabes.
Yet, when contestant Miss Kitty Cadillac worked the stripper pole and set her breasts on fire, the show climaxed. The crowd roared; and the judges were mesmerized. Then Kitty purred through her interview question with a raunchiness that made her the ideal candidate for the crown. She was asked at what point a girl becomes a woman, and replied that it required mastering a particular sexual position (details which I cannot disclose without alarming the moral majority). Kitty’s erotic answer sealed the deal. She had come from humble beginnings in her lifelong quest (or rather her two-month quest) to be Miss Hooker 2012; and she had prevailed.
However, the competition was more than frivolity, gigolo jokes and roasted mammary glands. It was an opportunity to explore the deeper questions of life, such as “Where the heck is contestant number ten and can she meet bail?” I was told she’d never shown for rehearsals, thus proving two things: she had not taken prostitution training seriously, and she’d opted not to “show up” in life.
“Showing up” is a field of study unto itself. I’ve been informally examining it for the past eight years--since being elected into local political office and working as a Los Angeles city commissioner. Although women comprise 51 percent of the population, they are glaringly absent from political, legal and community events. Women fought tirelessly for the vote during the 19th and early 20th century, and they yearn for equality; but today they earn 77 cents on the male dollar. They claim to want leadership roles in society; but comprise only 16.4 percent of U.S. Congress and only 22.1 percent of executive positions—a number that has decreased in the past decade, according to the Center for American Women and Politics at Rutgers University.
Politics is where the power is, so if women desire that power, why does testosterone consume the room when it is time to affect change? Why are political events crammed with dudes? Do most ladies lack interest in these matters? Are they secretly content with letting men lead? Or are they intimidated by a society-wide “males only” mentality?
Miss Demeanor, who had hula hooped her way to a loss in the Hooker pageant, told me that women don’t “show up” because the world is a boys’ club. Women are quietly edged out of the arena. “My mom said I could be whatever I wanted, but not every girl gets this sort of encouragement.”
Regardless of whether Miss Demeanor is right, the first step towards true equality is realizing where the power is and “showing up” to grab it. Females must burst into the public sphere, frequenting political meetings, community events and legal forums. They must run for political office; and elect each other. They must assert their opinions, rather than let males dominate the conversation. They must stop muffling their voice.
I was glad I “showed up” to meet the beautiful and empowered women who participated in this admittedly bizarre pageant; they were independent, stylish and strong. I congratulated the winner Miss Kitty Cadillac, who flaunted her leg tattoo, leopard print leotard and rhinestone wand from the edge of the stage. She gave me reassurance that she was the right gal for the job, confiding that she had once met a call girl and had no interest in Johnny Depp.
“Good for you,” I smiled. “You’re as qualified as I am to wear that crown.”
Charlotte Laws, Ph.D. is an author, an NBC commentator and a member of the Greater Valley Glen Council in Southern California. You can follow her on Twitter at https://twitter.com/CharlotteLaws
This article first appeared in Huffington Post on April 4, 2012
Report this post as:
LATEST COMMENTS ABOUT THIS ARTICLE
Listed below are the 10 latest comments of 2 posted about this article.
These comments are anonymously submitted by the website visitors.
Marshall Tuck’s racist dog whistle
Marshall Tuck’s ethnocentrism contradicts Californian values
Debunking Some Anti-Prop 10 Propaganda
Why Should California Choose De Leon Over Feinstein?
Change Links September 2018 posted
More Scandals Rock Southern California Nuke Plant San Onofre
Site Outage Friday
Change Links August 2018
Setback for Developer of SC Farm Land
More problems at Shutdown San Onofre Nuke
Change Links 2018 July posted
More Pix: "Families Belong Together," Pasadena
"Families Belong Together" March, Pasadena
Short Report on the Families Belong Together Protest in Los Angeles
Summer 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert!
Watch the Debate: Excluded Candidates for Governor of California
Change Links June 2018 posted
The Montrose Peace Vigil at 12 Years
Unity Archive Project
Dianne Feinstein's Promotion of War, Secret Animal Abuse, Military Profiteering, Censorshi
CA Senate Bill 1303 would require an independent coroner rather than being part of police
Three years after OC snitch scandal, no charges filed against sheriffs deputies
More Local News...
COP 21, 25, 32, de l'écocide organisé
fbi & fmj are ' Lord of the Flies '
Parangon d'une grande infestation
Video: Beautiful Country Burn Again, 39 min
OBAMA WERE POW'S LEFTBEHIND IN AFGHANISTAN IRAQ AND LIBYA
OBAMA WERE POWS LEFT BEHIND IN AFGAHNISTAN IRAQ AND LIBYA
DID BARACK OBAMA LEAVE POWS BEHIND IN AFGAHNISTAN IRAQ AND LIBYA
DID BARACK OBAMA LEAVE POWS BEHIND IN AFGHANISTAN IRAQ AND LIBYA
Paraphysique de l'Etat d'urgence
Republican Vote Fraud Reached A New Level In Midterms
Texas Finally Ousts Culberson!
Israel Quit UNESCO, Um-Shmum, Make Ben-Gurion Proud!
Mafia City Hack Mod Generator - Generate 15.000 Gold
Ronald L. Havner & The Sleazy Corporate Whores @PublicStorage RAPED ME!
Trumponomics and Wall Street Rejoices
8 GOP Candidates For Governor Want Executions To Continue In Their States
Paraphysique de l'hybris pirocratie
Pity Yitzhak Rabin Wasn’t Israel’s Trump!
Une machine c'est crétin
Nuke Plants Cause Excess CancerDeaths When Running, Rates Decline When They Shut Down
Right-wing Populism: A Wave of Nostalgia
Paraphysique du profit de l'horreur
Trump: A Disaster For Animals As Well As People
26 Ways Trump Has Increased The National Debt By 4 to 5 Trillion Dollars
Right-wing Populism: Can More Madness Cure the Madness?
OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center Presents Night for Hope
Autoréplication, l'Histoire en rétroaction
More Breaking News...