We had a server outage, and we're rebuilding the site. Most of the site features won't work. Thank you for your patience.
imc indymedia

Los Angeles Indymedia : Activist News

white themeblack themered themetheme help
About Us Contact Us Calendar Publish RSS
Features
latest news
best of news
syndication
commentary


KILLRADIO

VozMob

ABCF LA

A-Infos Radio

Indymedia On Air

Dope-X-Resistance-LA List

LAAMN List




IMC Network:

Original Cities

www.indymedia.org africa: ambazonia canarias estrecho / madiaq kenya nigeria south africa canada: hamilton london, ontario maritimes montreal ontario ottawa quebec thunder bay vancouver victoria windsor winnipeg east asia: burma jakarta japan korea manila qc europe: abruzzo alacant andorra antwerpen armenia athens austria barcelona belarus belgium belgrade bristol brussels bulgaria calabria croatia cyprus emilia-romagna estrecho / madiaq euskal herria galiza germany grenoble hungary ireland istanbul italy la plana liege liguria lille linksunten lombardia london madrid malta marseille nantes napoli netherlands nice northern england norway oost-vlaanderen paris/Île-de-france patras piemonte poland portugal roma romania russia saint-petersburg scotland sverige switzerland thessaloniki torun toscana toulouse ukraine united kingdom valencia latin america: argentina bolivia chiapas chile chile sur cmi brasil colombia ecuador mexico peru puerto rico qollasuyu rosario santiago tijuana uruguay valparaiso venezuela venezuela oceania: adelaide aotearoa brisbane burma darwin jakarta manila melbourne perth qc sydney south asia: india mumbai united states: arizona arkansas asheville atlanta austin baltimore big muddy binghamton boston buffalo charlottesville chicago cleveland colorado columbus dc hawaii houston hudson mohawk kansas city la madison maine miami michigan milwaukee minneapolis/st. paul new hampshire new jersey new mexico new orleans north carolina north texas nyc oklahoma philadelphia pittsburgh portland richmond rochester rogue valley saint louis san diego san francisco san francisco bay area santa barbara santa cruz, ca sarasota seattle tampa bay tennessee urbana-champaign vermont western mass worcester west asia: armenia beirut israel palestine process: fbi/legal updates mailing lists process & imc docs tech volunteer projects: print radio satellite tv video regions: oceania united states topics: biotech

Surviving Cities

www.indymedia.org africa: canada: quebec east asia: japan europe: athens barcelona belgium bristol brussels cyprus germany grenoble ireland istanbul lille linksunten nantes netherlands norway portugal united kingdom latin america: argentina cmi brasil rosario oceania: aotearoa united states: austin big muddy binghamton boston chicago columbus la michigan nyc portland rochester saint louis san diego san francisco bay area santa cruz, ca tennessee urbana-champaign worcester west asia: palestine process: fbi/legal updates process & imc docs projects: radio satellite tv
printable version - js reader version - view hidden posts - tags and related articles

Al Gore Urges Masturbation to end War and Global Warming

by Karen Fish Sunday, Nov. 04, 2007 at 10:22 PM

It’s more convenient than going extinct.

Al Gore Urges Mastur...
algore2.jpg, image/jpeg, 470x313

Albert Einstein said, “If at first the idea is not asurd then there is no hope for it.” Barack Obama refuses to attack Hillary Clinton because he is practising “the politics of hope”. On a subconscious level the American people are only capable of electing Presidents who are named after parts of the female genitalia. We have a large hill to climb to end war and global warming but sometimes the solution we do not see is right in front of our nose.

During the Civil War Abraham Lincoln prophetically wrote, “As a result of war, corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands, and the republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of the country than ever before, even in the midst of war. God grant that my suspicion may prove groundless.” Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence wrote “We must crush at its birth the aristocracy of the moneyed corporations.” The last thing that the defense contractors and oil companies want is that the American people should all begin masturbating on a regular basis.

Al Gore won two Academy Award statues and a Nobel Peace Prize for his film “An Inconvenient Truth”. If a woman or a man wishes to experience the delight of orgasms, is it more convenient to engage in internet dating, then a coffee date, then dinner with a total stranger, or to lie down in your own bed and masturbate?

At a recent draft Al Gore fundraising meeting in Kennebunkport, Maine, population 4,000, Al Gore told the attending dignitaries, “Examine the following chain reaction: Sexual Relations > children > overpopulation > billions of drivers > global warming > Arctic and Antarctica melt > world sea level rises permanently 100 feet > all Mountain Glaciers Melt > all rivers and lakes run dry > no drinking water > nuclear world wars over oil and water > all life on earth goes extinct. Now, replace the root cause of this catastrophe, sexual relations with masturbation and voila, we create the Garden of Eden on Earth. As the Lord God said, “Love Yourself”.

Dr. June Machover Reinisch, Ph.D., Professor of Psychiatry at Indiana University from 1982-1993 says that women who masturbate experience greater physical and emotional health, more orgasms, heightened sexual desire, higher self esteem, multi orgasms and greater marital satisfaction, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJuDYu8gIps Very few women in Darfur have contracted AIDS from masturbating. Al Gore points out in “An Inconvenient Truth” that the Darfur conflict was caused by drought which was caused by global warming. Al Gore also points out that when the Himalayan Mountain glaciers finish melting completely and the rivers of Asia run dry the disaster of billions of people dying of famine will make the Iraq War look like a day at Disney World. If the people of earth do not begin masturbating furiously immediately we are all doomed.

10,000 years ago the earth had 5 million people living on it. http://www.nationalgeographic.com/eye/overpopulation/effect.html Today the earth has 6.4 billion people living on it, on its way to 9 billion by 2050, thanks to the the pharmaceutical industry. As you can see, penicillin is a double edged sword. Overpopulation, 6 billion people on a tiny ball flying through space built for 100 million people, which it would have if not for the super brilliant and super idiotic 3 pound human brain, is the root cause of war, global warming, and human extinction in the very near future. The average adult human brain weighs 1400 grams and the average brain of a sperm whale weighs 7,800 grams. What do those whales think about all day?

The Lord God told Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit from the knowledge tree. The snake in the parable is a symbol for Mr. Johnson, the 36th President of the United States. The fruit was later called “the apple” by Bible Scholars, symbolic of Eve’s derriere. Because Mr. Johnson convinced Adam and Eve to disobey the Lord God, Adam and Eve were forced for the first time to wear clothing and to feel shame. Would you prefer to feel the shame of masturbation or the shame of causing the extinction of all life on earth forever? Al Gore said, “The inconvenient truth is that we are all animals who need clean water, food and air to survive. You cannot break the laws of nature, but if you do it will break your back, no matter how many scientific global warming documents George Bush, the puppet of the American Petroleum Institute now leading us into Iran and Nuclear World War III doctors.” Now lets all lick our fingers and come together, right now, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJqNxKdgyqM



Report this post as:
Share on: Twitter, Facebook, Google+

add your comments


Local News

Change Links September 2018 posted S02 10:22PM

More Scandals Rock Southern California Nuke Plant San Onofre A30 11:09PM

Site Outage Friday A30 3:49PM

Change Links August 2018 A14 1:56AM

Setback for Developer of SC Farm Land A12 11:09PM

More problems at Shutdown San Onofre Nuke J29 10:40PM

Change Links 2018 July posted J09 8:27PM

More Pix: "Families Belong Together," Pasadena J02 7:16PM

"Families Belong Together" March, Pasadena J02 7:08PM

Short Report on the Families Belong Together Protest in Los Angeles J30 11:26PM

Summer 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert! J11 6:58AM

Watch the Debate: Excluded Candidates for Governor of California M31 5:20AM

Change Links June 2018 posted M28 7:41AM

The Montrose Peace Vigil at 12 Years M22 8:01PM

Unity Archive Project M21 9:42AM

Dianne Feinstein's Promotion of War, Secret Animal Abuse, Military Profiteering, Censorshi M17 10:22PM

CA Senate Bill 1303 would require an independent coroner rather than being part of police M10 9:08PM

Three years after OC snitch scandal, no charges filed against sheriffs deputies M10 8:57PM

California police agencies violate Brown Act (open meetings) M02 8:31PM

Insane Company Wants To Send Nuke Plant Waste To New Mexico A29 11:47PM

Change Links May 2018 A27 8:40AM

Worker-Owned Car Wash on Vermont Closed A27 5:37AM

GUIDE TO REBEL CITY LOS ANGELES AVAILABLE A13 12:39AM

lausd whistle blower A11 6:58AM

More Local News...

Other/Breaking News

test O06 10:01AM

test O06 9:59AM

test O06 9:59AM

100 Ways GOP Have Stolen Elections Since 1876 O06 12:03AM

Proximospective de l'univocité réifiée O05 6:27AM

“Kava-no!!!” O04 6:42PM

Trump & Palestine vs. Genesis, Rashi & The Land of Israel O03 6:29PM

The Criminality of the Elites O03 11:35AM

Business de l'inhumanitaire O03 7:51AM

Marriage Rape/Date Rape Highest Rapes O02 2:59PM

Women I Know Get Raped - Too Many Times To Count! O02 2:55PM

Women In USA Have Stockholm Syndrom O02 2:50PM

Shooting Drill's Are Political Actual Shootings O02 2:47PM

Dr. Ford's Father Works With CIA O02 2:44PM

Weaponizing Frequencies O02 2:41PM

Google Abuses: Worldwide Spying, Censorship, War Promotion, Spying On Children, Etc O02 11:08AM

Paraphysique de l'administration O02 8:34AM

Paraphysique O02 8:31AM

Affordable Rents? A State of Emergency Intensifies O01 11:36AM

A Few Of Many Impeachable Acts by Trump Sessions And Others O01 4:41AM

Désengrammation, l'éloge de la suite S30 7:01AM

someone Should Work In Hollywood - Good Acting! S28 2:55PM

Ford Gives Psych Drugs To Lower Class To Shut Them Up? S28 2:51PM

Hilllary Calls Ford Trailer Trash? S28 2:47PM

Most Rapes Are In Marriages S28 2:43PM

Nice Boys Dirty Deeds S28 2:41PM

Minnesota 2nd Largest Rape State S28 2:39PM

Paraphysique de la plus-value S28 7:18AM

More Breaking News...
© 2000-2018 Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Unless otherwise stated by the author, all content is free for non-commercial reuse, reprint, and rebroadcast, on the net and elsewhere. Opinions are those of the contributors and are not necessarily endorsed by the Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Running sf-active v0.9.4 Disclaimer | Privacy