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Please Tell Britney Spears What is Going On In The Middle East

by Karen Fish Wednesday, Jan. 17, 2007 at 1:17 AM

Here are a few simple questions.

Please Tell Britney ...
britney5.jpgwedjmu.jpg, image/jpeg, 88x127

Recently I have been trying to keep up with current events. I have been watching the news on the television and reading the news in the newspapers and online. One thing that I have learned is that there are countless self proclaimed experts out there blogging, writing articles and commentating on television and on the internet all around the world.

Imagine that this was medicine, heart surgery. A man suffers a heart attack. The man comes into the hospital. The expert in medicine, the doctor orders an angioplasty. He sees that one artery is 90% blocked. He cuts a tiny hole in the man’s thigh and sends up a tiny microscope, inserts a stent, opens up the artery, sends the man home the next day with a prescription for blood thinners and the man is golfing the next week and lives another 20 years.

Britney Spears says, picture this. A man suffers a heart attack. He comes into the hospital. Five cardiologists attend to him. One says that he had a heart attack. One says that he has heartburn from the spicy dinner he just ate. One says that he has a pulled chest muscle from working out at the gym that afternoon. One says that he is having a panic anxiety attack. The fifth one says that it is referred pain from an appendix attack.

I have a few questions about what is going on in the Middle East. Why did the Saudi Arabian Muslims hijack four airplanes on 911 and fly them into the world trade center? Instead of retaliating against Saudi Arabia why did the United States attack Afghanistan and Iraq? If a woman punched you in the nose would you strike back at the two women beside her who never touched you? Now why is the United States preparing to attack Iran and Syria?

Why is it O.K. for the United States to have 25,000 100 megaton nuclear bombs but it isn’t O.K. for Iran to have one in 5 years? Why is the United States split into two hotly divided factions Democrats and Republicans constantly viciously ridiculing each other? Can’t any of them see the other’s point of view? Why are Rosie O’Donnel and Donald Trump killing each other? Why does anyone care? Why is Iran calling for the destruction of Israel and the United States? When is Jesus coming back? Did the United States government actually deliberately blow up the twin towers? Did Kevin Federline break up with Britney Spears?

Why are we heading into a nuclear world war 3 fighting over oil? Why did President Bush declare a Christian Crusade against the Islamofascists? Isn’t the eighth commandment “Don’t Steal?” Why are the Muslims fascists? Did the Muslims steal the Americans’ oil? Isn’t a fascist a brutal dictator? Didn’t the American voters and the Iraq Study Group tell President Bush to leave Iraq? Didn’t the United Nations tell President Bush not to go to Iraq in the first place? Are the American soldiers Republicans or Democrats? Does Britney Spears have a drug problem? Why do we idolize singers? Do they know the answers to these questions? Does the Pope? Is Pope Benedict infallible? Why are the Democrats funding the war in Iraq? Why does America use one quarter of the world’s oil? Why are Americans building Hummers which get 12 miles per gallon? Has anyone noticed that burning oil is causing the sea level to rise permanently 50 feet? Why are humans not banning the burning of oil? How did these bloggers get to the movie theater? Did they get there in their SUVs? Why is W. driving an SUV?

During World War 2 did the German people realize that Hitler was insane or did they cheer him wildly at the Berlin Olympics in 1936 and follow him into a quest to conquer the world for Germany? When Hitler had Europe conquered and Russia quiet with a treaty why did he have to go conquer Russia? Why didn’t he just go and conquer the Middle East? What is The Temple of Love? What is Scientology? Who is Keith Urban? Is he a scientist? Is Tom Cruise infertile? Is Katie Holmes the daughter of John Holmes? Who is Stephen R. Finkter?

What is the difference between a Shiite and a Sunni? Why did the Arabs demand the Gaza back for 50 years and the minute they got it they began killing each other? Are the oil companies and the arms companies running the United States government and fomenting world war 3 to drive up their stock prices? If President Bush has killed 650,000 Iraqi civilians so far then why did he hang Saddam Hussein for killing 180 people? Is it so hard to put yourself in the other person’s shoes?

If Israel is wiped off the map will that bring an end to pollution and global warming and war? Will it solve Britney Spears marital problems? If Cuba invades the United States will America be able to defend itself? Why is Russia building nuclear reactors for the Iranians? If Russia attacks the Middle East with weapons of mass destruction what will happen to the American soldiers in Iraq? If China with weapons of mass destruction and a 300 million man army joins with Russia as they did when they backed North Vietnam and China and Russia together attack the Middle East what will happen to the American soldiers in Iraq? Did the Roman people who ruthlessly conquered the world foresee the fall of the Roman Empire to the Vandals, Goths and Barbarians? Who does Kim Jong Il’s hair?

Why is the Government of the United States and the mainstream media hiding the truth from the American people and the world? Are they afraid that their own people cannot handle the truth? Why do evil lying brutal dictators always gain power when the vast majority of the people on earth want peace? Why don’t the peaceful people rise up and grab power and end the wars?

Why did Richard Nixon fly W. to Washington to date his daughter Tricia while W. was serving in the national guard? Did W. really score in the 25th percentile on his pilot exam? Is that below 75% of the other people? Why does W. always walk so funny? Does he have a personal posture coach? Now, every pundit, journalist, blogger, politician, newscaster and other self proclaimed expert in the world please answer the above questions for me and please add in 100 of your own questions for everyone else to answer, then please email your report to me. Then we can send the email to everyone on earth who has a computer or lives near an internet cafe and keep snowballing it around the world so that finally everyone will know what’s going on.

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Listed below are the 10 latest comments of 4 posted about this article.
These comments are anonymously submitted by the website visitors.
She's not the only one Sheepdog Wednesday, Jan. 17, 2007 at 8:30 AM
Tell Britney something? Why bother? futility alert Wednesday, Jan. 17, 2007 at 6:01 PM
Britney and the Mideast Meyer London Thursday, Jan. 18, 2007 at 11:50 AM

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