November 11, 2006 Segment...COMEDYrealLIFEhellHOUSEcomedyREALlifeHELLhouse

Truly mixed up comedy:  In my exodus from Alabama's hellish summers and the abuse of the regime in power, I happened upon a place called Mill Valley California one time.  I rented an efficiency apartment that was part of a house.  I discovered many things about the wealthy of California, and wealth is a mixed blessing as I feel more camaraderie and acceptance in the neighboring Hispanic working class neighborhoods.  I live in the garage.  That is all I can afford, and no one wants to hire me after being terminated from the FDIC, for not dropping my EEOC complaint, which was never heard, and for my surviving an attack by FDIC and NTEU money laundering associates who had killed a regional FDIC director, and then labeled it suicide.  On with the story.

Scene: I arrive at the Mill Valley House in my pickup truck.  Sheriff Jack Tillman is in the bed of the pickup.  He is a Mobile Alabama Sheriff I had terminated from his job for stealing $350,000 of inmate food funds, and for allowing people to die in his jail,  and for taking my gun permit on 4-3-2001 without cause after being attacked by FDIC and NTEU money laundering murderous associates.  It did not matter to them that I was almost killed.  I was punished by the illegal regime. So now, in this comedy, I take Jack "Snatch" with me.

Scene: I, Kurt Brown,  lead Sheriff Snatch to the pool pump room of the house.  Saint Ram Bone my alter ego takes charge. Saint Ram Bone is my alter ego.  He is a young playful spirit with a love for air pistols and pellet rifles.    He will encounter the landlady who Kurt refers to as Dr. Hell, and who Saint Ram Bone refers to as Granny Hell.

Saint Ram Bone to Sheriff Snatch: "Snatch, I have been waitin fer you"  "Get in the possum hooch and put those leg bracelets on."  "It is hot out here now, so don't make me sweat". 

Scene: Sheriff Snatch puts on a leg bracelet, a chain with a pad lock as Saint Ram Bone points the air rifle at Snatch's eyeball.

Saint Ram Bone: "There is em possums out here at night in the pool pump house Snatch" "I want you to entertain kind now, and don't take none of their food pellets".  "You here me boy?!"

Sheriff Snatch: "Oh come on Kurt, I mean Saint Ram Bone".  "I have to eat something" 

Saint Ram Bone: "There is some poke salad that grows over there in the garden and snails, es-car-got." "You be a respectful possum and eat that food."  "You stole inmate food funds and see nothing wrong with it".  "Don't you bother em possums out here at night! Boy!"  "We gotta law against molesting the wild life roun this har fish pond".

Scene: Sheriff Snatch walks as far as he can on the chain and pulls up some foliage and starts to munch on it.

Saint Ram Bone: "Snatch, what you doin boy?!" "Tit ain't dinner time till the possums come home"  "You get up on that perch and swing from that tree like a possum so as you don't scare em."

Scene: Snatch starts to kick around in the dirt and Saint pushes the pellet rifle to Snatch's ass and fires.

Saint Ram Bone: "Told you boy!"  "Those possums don't want no belly aching Snatch makin a fuss".  "Now swing that tree branch thar in front of that jailhouse measurement board and look professional". 

Scene: Snatch scurries up the pool pump shed and starts to swing slightly as a tiny speck of blood comes from his bare bottom. Pic link of Jack Snatch hanging upside down at poolpump house dressed in same clothes he was arrested in.

Scene: The landlady who owns the place comes out to hear what the gun fire is.  She is elderly, around 85, and resembles the woman from the movie, "Throw Momma From The Train".

Landlady Dr. Sonya Hell: "What the hell is all that racket out here Saint Bone?"  "Thought I heard you shootin that pistola again"  "You didn't shoot my possums did ya?" 

Saint Ram Bone: "No Granny Hell, I ain't shot nothin but this har varmint eating the possum food in the shed."   "I named him Jack Snatch and he looks like that Alabama Sheriff who is a thief I told you bout"

Landlady Dr. Sonya Hell: "OK Saint Bone" "I have to go give some lectures to my psychology students over at Berkeley".  "You watch the place till I get back, and don't be shooting my possums". "When I get back we will talk about you Saint Bone and Kurt and your relationship with him, OK?"

Saint Ram Bone:  "Ok Granny Hell, I will be waiting and I will make sure that Kurt is here"

Sheriff Snatch: "Hey lady, help me".

Landlady Dr. Sonya Hell: "Shut up you whacky varmint and stay out of those possum pellets" "You, You...ah hell, I gotta go, it's hot as hell out here today" 

Saint Ram Bone: "I got this one cornered Granny Hell, bye now"

Scene: Landlady leaves, and Saint Ram Bone puts on his birthday suit and swims around. Pic link of Saint Ram Bone swinging out in front of the rental rooms at the whacky hacienda of Mill Valley and its now odd resident possum, Jack Snatch.

Saint Ram Bone to Sheriff Snatch: "Snatch, I want you to tell me Whip or Will You Will Be Deal, just like in our video we made on our trip around California (Link to article with video)."

Sheriff Snatch: "Whip or will you will be deal!"  "Whip or will you will be deal!"  "Whip or will you will be deal!"

Scene: Saint Ram Bone frolicks and plays doing belly flops and twisty turns and breast strokes.  While the music plays on the CD.  "N'awlins Big Easy Bud Hole. (Link to article with with link to mp3 song)

Scene: Kurt pokes his head around the corner from the bottom of the house.  (Pic of Kurt looking around corner from his room in the garage in the Hell of a House of Dr. Sonya Hell.)

Kurt to Viewing Audience: "Stay tuned.  Tomorrow I bring in Sueet Carol, also known as Sue Carol, who was the ARD or assistant regional director of FDIC in 2000 in San Francisco.  Her boss, George Masa, had me terminated for asking all the wrong questions.  He was likely a mob boss replacement for the dead regional director labeled suicide."  "Sueet Carol told me on 4-28-2000, drop the EEOC complaint and you can keep your job. I told her no and I was terminated that day.  I regret having served the USA military and encourage young men to travel the world on their own ticket and to avoid the treachery of USA government".  "Sueet Carol told me after I filed my EEOC complaint and someone told me they were going to have me terminated for having physical trouble with an assignment beyond the job descriptions requirements, "It looks you have dug yourself a hole you can not get out of".  Yes, I dug my hole.  I trusted the USA governments.  Now, I trust myself and encourage young men to become soldiers for the humane, either in family and community syndicates or in foreign armies.  Beware of those who conscript you.  Beware of the holes I dig for myself.  I eat in those holes and feed on those who throw me into them, Sueet."