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The Second American Revolution : Washington and Iran

by Brent Herbert Sunday, Jul. 16, 2006 at 6:22 PM

A repeat of that Terri Schiavo business from a while back, as once again Washington takes on a great humanitarian cause to save the life of a vegetable.

Now that Israel has received permission from Washington to get a regional conflict stirred up over the entire Middle East region, with the exception of Jordon, which will be to terrified of getting embroiled with Washington and thus will try to sit this one out and wait for its turn later, I thought it would be a good idea for a revolutionary to try to keep one step ahead of Washington at all times, since Washington always attempts to keep one step ahead of the revolutionary, and allowing Washington to get one step ahead just doesn't seem like a good idea to me, and so I thought I would dash off a quick note, so that I can get back to being one (or probably a dozen) steps ahead of Washington.

The real target of Washington in this unfolding drama is Iran, but Washington also plans to bump off Syria and then let Israel bump off Lebanon just to make sure that Washington is not seen bumping off only Iran, but is also bumping off some other countries at the same time so it will appear that Washington's true strategic interest is not the Straits of Hormuz, but rather that Washington has broader geo-strategic goals, as anyone could tell by seeing how many countries are in line for a really good hard spanking because they have been bad and thus need to be spanked so that they will behave themselves and be good little countries in the future. Just to broaden the global perspective, it would also be good to go far away from the Straits of Hormuz and spank a far away country like North Korea at the same time, or at least threaten to spank them if not actually spank them, for rumor has it that North Korea has nuclear weapons and thus could do a little bit of spanking themselves before Washington nuked them and wiped their country off the map as a warning to any other country in the world as to what happens to naughty countries that do not go over Washington's knee and get spanked properly but try some kicking or hair pulling on daddy's head, thus becoming even more badly behaved than before and getting spanked even worse.

In order to protect the vital Straits of Hormuz, which is like a feeding tube in the nostrils of the comatose capitalist economic system, Washington must control South West Iran. Fortunately this is also where all the oil and gas is located, so if you think long term, this latest attempt by Washington to protect another Terri and keep in her feeding tube would be self funding, and depending on how many dollars this operation will cost, will eventually turn a profit as well. Unfortunately the President of Iran and the Supreme Leader of that country, the Ayatollah, made lots and lots of strategic errors, including that one about threatening to yank out Terri's feeding tube, which was supposed to scare away Washington, but will only wind up being used as one of so many convenient excuses by Washington. In this case, to save Terri's life, Washington will have no choice but to intervene in a medical decision once again, and since the wonderful Frankenstein market process has decided to send oil prices through the roof, Washington will therefore interfere in ‘free markets' and contradict the doctors by forcibly reinserting Terri's tube, and then trying to get a judge to agree to leave the tube in place.

The price to be paid for controlling the Straits will have to be the very sudden abrupt appearance of fascism in America, all at once, instead of just one drip at a time as it has been up to now. So we can see that Washington will have turn on the faucet and fill the sink all at once and just damn well get the process over with, for their will be Iranian terrorists under the bed, that thing that goes bump in the night, that's an Iranian terrorist, and so we can see that when Iran threatens Washington that is like giving Washington a box of chocolates, and Washington loves chocolates, so we can see that Washington actually loves terrorists, and doesn't hate them at all.

It turns out that all Washington really hates is such things as Democracy and Constitutions and especially International Laws, especially the ones concerning wars and war crimes, which are like a burdensome stone that Washington has already dumped into a ditch, since it is impossible to have a good geo-strategic war agenda and at the same time carry that stone, so that stone was ditched over a decade and half previously, during that first Iraq war, when Iraq lost all their infrastructure development in a vicious violation of the International War Crimes laws, the only logical reason for blowing up electricity and water and so on being that this stuff was paid for using quasi-socialist money from an unprivatized state owned oil industry, which then made the whole neoliberal globalization privatization scam look like a bad idea. You see only Iraq was developing, and had to give the rude middle finger to the IMF to get any development done, and that was embarrassing, so the stuff was blown to Kingdom Come as a way of showing Third World countries that if they try becoming an advanced developed country like Iraq once was, they will just get a good hard spanking for making the effort, and they will also have all their toys taken away and get locked into their room without any dinner, thus proving that there is no point in even thinking of not being a Third World country on this planet, because if you try to reach your development goals in this Millennium, you will just get spanked really hard and lose your toys and your dinner.

Now you might that as much as Washington hates such things as Democracy and the rule of law and Third World development, and as much as Washington loves Terri and thus is concerned about keeping a feeding tube inserted into that comatose vegetable as part of Washington's humane agenda, that still would not be enough to motivate Washington to get burned fingers when Washington is already in enough trouble trying to pull red hots chestnuts out of a blazing fire in Iraq. What people would forget is that Washington is in a particularly reckless mood in the present century, what with Frankenstein having blundered his way into another one of his mounting disasters, such things always seeming to happen to that lumbering monster, because it doesn't have a functioning brain. Therefore we see such reckless acts coming out of Washington and Wall Street as the ending of the publication of the M3 data, and this at a time when the American dollar is in danger of becoming the world's cheap currency rather than its reserve currency, which is hardly a confidence building measure, for without the M3 the whole planet will just have to guess what an American dollar is worth. This is one of Washington's typically reckless strategies in that it indicates that Washington has lost confidence in the dollar, and therefore Washington is hoping that by hiding the M3 maybe it might be possible to stop any other countries from finding out that Washington no longer has the confidence to publish the M3 data, and thus in this way, perhaps, just maybe it might be possible for Washington to maintain confidence in the American dollar, even though this would be a bit like taking a spin on a roulette wheel and hoping to land on seven.

Now not publishing the M3 is one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't strategies, and given choices like that you will notice that Washington decides to be damned for doing something rather than just sitting around and getting damned for not doing something, for in the latter case there still remains at least the delusional expectation that hope remains alive. The same principle would apply in the case of the Middle East, where once again we would expect Washington to plunge ahead, since to do nothing means certain disaster, while to do something also means a disaster, but there might yet be a slim distant hope that it might not be a certain disaster, thus making it worthwhile to give the wheel a spin. When presented with two equally bad options that wind up producing identical results it is the established policy of Washington to always pick the one that at least looks like it might offer a slim distant hope, and therefore even though people think Washington would be unwilling to get even more fingers burned grabbing more chestnuts from even bigger fires, nevertheless this is what Washington will do, for it is unlikely that Washington is ready to surrender all its marbles and lose it all. Putting those marbles onto a roulette table and hoping for a jackpot winning spin is therefore the most desirable option under the present circumstances.

Therefore, given the grave terrorist threat all this chestnut grabbing will cause, we can expect that America will start becoming totally fascist in one hell of a big hurry, and then it only logically follows that activist types and certain revolutionary types will become panic stricken because that happened, which was a dreadful horror, and perhaps even the end of all existence as we know it. From the point of view of Washington, if revolutionary types can be intimidated and go back to their usual panic stricken attitudes whenever Washington adopts a menacing posture that would be a positive development. This sort of thing happens all the time, which frustrates the hell out of a truly mature revolutionary such as myself, because it is an indication of a flawed revolutionary perspective, and the result of having a flawed perspective, especially when someone keeps trying to give you the right one, is that some revolutionary types and activists wind up getting a spanking, when if they had their wits about them instead of going off half cocked, they would realize that it is the revolutionary who does all the real spanking around this place, and not Washington.

Now Washington will reinsert Terri's feeding tube, and Washington will grab chestnuts out of the fire for use later, while at the same time, thanks to the bad strategic plotting of Iran, which is not a revolutionary country as you can tell by all their bad plotting, Washington will also be able to finish cooking a souffle by sticking it into a microwave and then zapping it on high for ten minutes. No doubt the very moment that souffle is spotted in the microwave lots of revolutionary and activist types will go hysterical, because Washington is cooking a souffle really fast now, which is dreadfully alarming.

However what we would see here is that Washington is cooking a souffle not to serve a souffle, since the thing will probably go flat, having been nuked in a microwave for ten minutes, but rather Washington is getting a souffle red hot so that when the sleeping giant takes a break from being glued to the television set, goes for a snack in the kitchen, and catches that chef preparing such a bad souffle, Washington will just be getting a red hot souffle in the face in much the same way that people get a pie in the face, the difference being that the souffle will be red hot, having just been yanked out of a microwave set on high. Even should Washington cook a souffle without having it go flat, and activist and revolutionary types go hysterical for the souffle is not flat, Washington will still be getting that souffle right in the face, because while it is perfectly formed and not flat, it is still a really nasty, bad souffle, and therefore it is going right straight into Washington's face at which time it will be flattened, since you cannot slam a red hot souffle into someone's face without flattening a souffle. It just logically follows. Now someone might think that there is no way that Washington might bother nuking a souffle, when it is only going to be a red hot souffle smashed into Washington's face, but given the fact that Washington is quite helpless, and actually cannot do anything at all and have it work out right, you can see how Washington would carry on and finish a souffle since to stop making a souffle is to surrender while to prepare a souffle is to go down fighting. You lose one way or the other, but one should expect Washington to go down swinging. And that means lots and .lots more of that strategic plotting of some brain dead vegetable, which is what Washington has become, for while those plots might seem very clever, actually they are not, since it is impossible to be really clever when your whole strategy involves becoming an irresistible force so you can finally become strong enough to push an immovable object.

From the point of view of the Second American Revolution, what this rapidly developing events indicate is that all that racket over the years and all that pot banging is waking up the sleeping Giant, and since the Giant is stirring, it is required that something be put on television right away so that the Giant will wake up and then just lie in bed riveted to the TV set and not come down to the kitchen to do that souffle in the face thing. Therefore we can see that what is on television had better be something riveting and dramatic that would keep a Giant lying in bed once it wakes up, and thus out of the kitchen, so expect high drama. Therefore we can see that to the truly mature revolutionary, not given to fits of hysteria, the idea of banging pots is a good idea, and therefore you should bang pots and not worry and fret about whether or not a pot banged outside someone's window would wake up a sleeping Giant, but rather you should confidently bang pots together, even it takes years, because if you bang enough pots someone will wind up losing sleep. It just logically follows. Therefore we can see that the behavior of Washington is like a kind of egg timer or a barometer for busy revolutionaries who might be wondering what time it is or what the barometric pressure might be at any given time.

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