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by Brent Herbert
Sunday, Jul. 16, 2006 at 2:54 AM
An examination of Ted Bundy, the 'god' of Israel and the Religious Right
Now that Israel is on some weird rampage through the Middle East, and since it is not possible to have a successful revolution without first completely destroying religion and its moralizing twaddle which hides the truth about what is really going on in the world, I thought it might be good to say a few words about that married couple who have so much in common, Israel and the Religious Right.
Before I begin I think it good to point out to people that when Israel is off on a weird rampage in the Middle East stoking the fires of regional war fare in the Middle East this clearly means that it is actually Washington that is off on weird rampage through the Middle East, since Israel would not be starting a large regional war in the Middle East, sucking in Lebanon, Syria, and Iran without first getting permission to start something like that from that writer of pay cheques to Israel, Washington, D.C. This leads one to wonder why Washington would now be getting ready to launch full scale war against Syria and Iran, leaving Israel the junior partner to take care of Lebanon, no doubt, especially when Washington already has burned fingers trying to pull a chestnut out of a blazing fire in Iraq. The answer to this mysterious question could only be found inside the head of Washington, but from the point of view of the American Revolution, it is clear that what we are seeing here is some scheme that involves Washington stepping on the gas pedal and taking a car that was once moving slowly towards fascist dictatorship and getting the thing up to one hundred miles an hour, so as to have fascism really quick now, before the sleeping Dragon wakes up. Apparently, according to the thought style of Washington, when you have a sleeping Dragon waking up in bed, the best thing to do would be to keep that sleeping Dragon riveted to the television set beside the bed, and thus less likely to come downstairs and catch the chef before the souffle has been run through the microwave for the last ten minutes. One way to keep a sleeping Dragon glued to a television set, and thus away from the kitchen where the chef is still not done making the souffle, is to stoke up such high drama that everyone will be glued to the television set, and thus distracted from taking a trip to the kitchen looking for a snack, only to find a very nasty chef whipping up one hell of a bad souffle.
As we all know Washington has just been itching to conquer Iran, and thus what we would see here is a strategy of killing two birds with one fascist stone. For no doubt once Iran is attacked there will be a severe threat of terrorism, since the President of Iran made the mistake of parading suicide bombers before the cameras of the capitalist media system some months ago in an attempt to scare Washington, and thus Washington will have an excuse to suspend all Democracy and rights in America until the whole thing with Iran blows over, which could take many years. And so then not only will Washington take home the prize of the oil fields of Iran in the Southwest of the country, but will also finish a souffle by zapping it quickly in a microwave for ten minutes, while keeping the giant lying in bed glued to the television by the dramatic spectacle, and thus unlikely to come downstairs before that souffle gets very quickly nuked.
Now to turn to the subject at hand, which is Israel and the Religious Right. It turns out that a long time ago, in a land far, far away, Israel took a block of wood and carved an idol out of that block of wood. The story of that carving is told in spin doctored form in the Bible (see the page A short history of forgery and heresy in the Bible.) According to the spin doctored account, what happened is that the idol was discovered in the temple by the High Priest, and then, because the idol was a god, the King forced the whole country to take a sacred oath to worship that block of wood from that time onward.
We can see why the King was so fond of that carved wood block if we study the Bible, which is of course where such sacred texts as the documents discovered in the temple eventually wound up. Let us give this idol a name, and given what is written in the Bible, I think it is fair to call that god ‘Ted Bundy'. The King was fond of Ted because Ted was a mass murdering, baby killing, woman raping, land grabbing house robbing thief, in short an Imperialist Colonialist idol, and thus would prove perfect for use by priests as a brainwashing tool for all sorts of nasty shit that the state of Israel had planned at the time. For you see, as one of the Jewish prophets told us, Israel was planning to become a large imperialist empire, ruling the Middle East right all the way to Iraq, and as the prophet told them, that stupid plot was never going to work out for them, but they decided to give it a shot, and thus followed the creation of that maniacal idol.
Later on the Holy Mother Church came onto the scene. Now as we know, Holy Mother Church has never made a mistake, and in matters of the faith, is incapable of any error whatsoever. Therefore, we must assume that when the theologians of Holy Mother Church declared that Ted Bundy was the Father of Jesus, and then voted Ted in as one of the three gods of something called a Holy Trinity, therefore this must have been the correct thing to do, for Holy Mother Church is incapable of error when it comes to matters of divine faith. Just how a trinity of gods could be ‘holy' when one of them was Ted Bundy is something Holy Mother Church never got around to explaining. But then perhaps that was because no one ever asked, or perhaps if they did ask they just did not pressure here enough by asking her enough times that she would be forced to come up with an answer. One must assume that the answer must be that it all depends on how you define the word ‘holy'. If a sociopathic serial killer can be holy, then we have a Holy Trinity and a Holy Bible, but otherwise we don't, because we have Ted, and Ted isn't holy, at least not according to the way I define ‘holy'. I will leave it to Holy Mother Church to come up with a definition of Holy that might include Ted Bundy, and thus save the day for the theologians, for otherwise people might think that theologians are the types who spend enormous amounts of time straining out insignificant gnats while swallowing gigantic camels, and Holy Mother Church certainly wouldn't want people thinking thoughts like that one.
Time went by and Holy Mother Church gave birth to quite a few children. When the Protestants were born they took Ted with them when the left the church, since apparently it never occurred to any of the geniuses of Protestant theology to leave Ted with his bride when they split from the joint. This time was called , in Orwellian propaganda terminology, ‘The Great Reformation of the Church', referring to a time when the church reformed its ways so as to return to true holiness, which, it was said, was not be practiced by Holy Mother Church. If Holy Mother Church was being unholy, as charged, then one might assume that it was because she was the bride of Ted Bundy, and it wasn't like Ted was hiding what he was up to and so we can assume that she was the type of person who would shack up with Ted, apparently not being bothered by his violent philandering, but this thought never occurred to the great theologians of the Protestant church, for they shacked up with Ted themselves, apparently feeling that shacking up with Ted was no problem and therefore nothing to be worried about. They had great feuds about many religious doctrines, but one thing they all agreed upon was that they should shack up with Ted, since at the time no one was quarreling about Ted. That would have to wait until more recent times when another reformation would have to be done, this time including lots of quarrelling about Ted, so that it could be said that it was camels that strained out and if some other doctrine was missed well then it could be charged that gnats were swallowed, which would be a big improvement and far less harmful to the digestive tract than doing something as bad as swallowing some camel named Ted.
Well it then followed that since Protestant churches swallowed the camel named Ted, what then followed was the great age of Imperialist Colonialism, when, in the name of bringing Jesus to every country in the obedience to the command to preach the gospel to all nations, every Third world country was invaded, and then in Ted Bundy style, following the robbery and murder method described so clearly in the Bible, every Third World country was ruthlessly plundered and robbed, since apparently preaching the gospel, which also happens, is not free and comes with a steep fee which must be paid. At least the Third World got saved from hell fire and that is probably worth losing every dime you ever had.
The next glorious period of Protestant history happened when some sacred Pilgrims landed on some Rock and thus brought Ted to America. The results were predictable, for as Ted said in the Bible, ‘Kill all the natives of the land, you shall not leave a single one alive...Drive out all of the natives of the land before you. You shall take possession of their land and send in settlers..' In obedience to Ted, who remained part of the Trinity of Gods even for Protestants, this was done.
This is just a brief sketch of the history of the world since the time Ted was invented by some scheming cabal of Priests in the Jerusalem Temple in Israel long ago, which then became part of the most sacred Bible. This outline of history is required if we are to understand the modern phenomena of the Religious Right so that it can be completely and thoroughly destroyed by a revolutionary in the correct fashion, thus making it possible to save the world from any more Ted Bundy gods, by saving the world from the Religious Right, for, you see, to understand the Religious Right phenomenon, you must understand that their god is Ted Bundy. Once you clearly understand this concept then all the behavior of the Religious Right makes perfect sense, for you should act like a maniac if your god is Ted Bundy.
The Religious Right is a notoriously naked brazen faced whore, and while most people already know that, what they might not understand is how this particular whore came to be called a church, when they don't ever seem to be doing a damn thing that Jesus told them to do, but are always doing evil instead. Well the truth of the matter is that they are doing what Ted said, but that is alright, since Ted is the Father of Jesus, and therefore like Father like Son. They are still obeying Jesus because they are obeying Ted, and therefore since the religious right is the holiest of all churches, since it believes the Bible to the last word, that means that only the Religious Right preaches the one true gospel, since some other church might not be preaching Ted Bundy, and thus would be found leaving parts out, which would be very wrong.
Once you understand Ted Bundy, then the maniacal doctrines of the religious right make sense, since they are the doctrines of a ruthless predatory sociopath. For example, there is the sinister doctrine of ‘family salvation', which holds that Jesus Bundy, the son of Ted, is after your grand mother, and plans to do the Ted thing to her by squeezing her between the red hot plates of a waffle iron forever, because she has not yet joined the religious right. According to the religious right you must be saved from Jesus, and since Jesus Bundy is a maniacal serial killer like his dad, it would probably be a good idea if you got saved, for your own personal safety.
Another famously warp minded doctrine of the Religious Right is the one about how Jesus did not want religion, which is obvious to anyone who is familiar with those stories of how Jesus spent all his time feuding with cabals of frocked up Pharisees and taking whips to their temples and so on. That Jesus wanted no religion is a doctrine so obvious that even the Religious Right is forced to admit to the truth, which then leaves them with the requirement that they come up with some kind of an excuse for preaching religion. The answer turns out to be that the Religious Right does not preach religion, but rather what they are preaching is a personal relationship with Jesus, which is different, and thus not a religion at all. It turns out that Jesus wants to be your best friend. If you don't agree to pal around with him, you will get the same waffle iron treatment as your grandmother is going to get. When someone extends a hand of friendship to someone in that way, we can see how someone might feel motivated to befriend Jesus, or at least pretend to be friends with him and start establishing a relationship with him very quickly since that is what the demented sociopath wants instead of religion, and so it would be a good idea to give it to him. It also turns out that once Jesus becomes your friend, he then wants to take ‘complete control' of your life, since being a sociopath like his father Ted, Jesus idea of a close relationship is a little weird, since sociopaths do not actually have friends, being to ruined for such things, so a relationship with a sociopath could be expected to include such things as being manipulated by a ruthless control freak.
Ted Bundy, the father of Jesus Bundy, did have a few moral values, which is good, because after all that mass murdering and weird sex raping and robbery, which are not moral values, if Ted had no morals at all Ted would have no value at all, and we wouldn't want that. It turns out that, since nature abhors a vacuum, that morals for Ted included such things as fag bashing and lots of ruthless laws about sex which, this being Ted, would get a person viciously tortured to death for violating any one of those ruthless sex laws. Ted was very moral about sex, as you can tell by the torture to death laws attached to those ruthless sex laws. You could away with robbery and genocide, but Ted was drawing the line on sex, and since the god of the Religious Right is Ted Bundy, that is also where the religious right draws the line, and you might notice that much like Ted, it is just about the only line that they do draw, since you can do all the violent robbery you want and be real corrupt like an imperialist thief or a capitalist robber baron and no lines will be drawn, for their god, Ted Bundy, left no lines to be drawn, so they aren't drawn.
This then explains why the Religious Right dominates the ‘moral agenda' of a place like America with lots of talk about ‘family values.' You see what Ted wants is non-revolutionary families who go to work and purchase products, and practice good morals by obeying the boss at work and saluting the flag and obeying every authoritarian system of oppression, but any hanky panky in the area of sex is strictly prohibited. The agenda could then be described as ‘work, family, god', or to avoid using the term ‘God' when referring to the religious right, perhaps we could say, ‘work, family, Ted,' since it is Ted who is their god, and no other god would want to be confused with or even remotely associated with a thing like Ted, and therefore perhaps it would be best to not use the word ‘God' in the same sentence as ‘Religious Right' for fear of offending the sensibilities of any other gods which might exist and might worry that perhaps someone might confuse them with Ted and thus think that they had something to do with that Religious Right phenomenon.
The Religious Right holds the swing votes in elections, because sometimes less than half of Americans turn up to vote in their discreditable elections, since the half that don't vote are smart enough to know that only Capitalists vote, by stacking the deck leaving no real choices, and since they don't yet know about revolutionary theory, and don't know what to do about it, they just stay away from voting. This gives the Religious Right control of the Republican Party, and through this control of the swing vote, combined with the decay of Democracy, the religious right therefore has control of the government and gets to do such things as veto Supreme Court appointments and lots of other things as well.
It turns out that ‘family values' only applies to matters concerning sex, for you can ram through vicious policies that launch ruthless attacks on the American family again and again and again, and you can support robber barons and Frankenstein capitalism, which ruins American families by ruining the economy, and none of this banned because it would somehow violate the value of some family. You can also leave families to drown up in attics if they are poor, which shows that while families have great value, and deeply touch the heart of the religious right, this would only be true if they aren't going to cost a dime or be relying on any programs to keep up their valuable family, for it turns out that daddy wants a tax cut, and daddy is also the boss, which means that daddy is more valuable than families, and although this proves to be true, you never hear much from the religious right about ‘robber baron values', since some agendas don't have that nice sound to them and thus shouldn't be mentioned, while other fine sounding moral values, such as ‘family values' should be trumpeted, because at least it sounds like a value even it is not an actual value of the religious right.
Ted is a right wing authoritarian and therefore it is no surprise that Ted spanks, and Teds hands were hard as steel when Ted was spanking, but as the religious right, who promote all kinds of spanking will remind us, as time went by we came to understand that there was always love in daddy's spanking hands. It logically follows from this that spanked little girls who grow up to feels grateful for being spanked and who wish to express their deep gratitude for being spanked by cold steel hands, would support tax cuts for daddy, for daddy wants a tax cut, and if little girls have a problem with that, then if daddy should have to take her across his knee and give her a good hard spanking it would be her own fault, for she was talking back to daddy and thus deserved a really good spanking. It also logically follows that grateful spanked girls must become strong supporters of the war in Iraq, and giving Iraq a spanking, a really good hard spanking, as well as supporting the policy of spanking any other countries that might need to be spanked good and hard so that they will learn to be good from now on and behave themselves.
That Ted advocates lots of hard spankings is no surprise since such authoritarian spanking ideology is a part of all that warfare and ruthless exploitation advocated by Ted, and since Ted Bundy advocates docile obedience to systems of ruthless oppression, the religious right advocates such obedience to authoritarians, and like Ted the religious right is always ready to threaten bad little girls with good hard spankings if they should talk back or disobey daddy. Ted would advocate burning the little bitch at the stake, but the religious right is not ready to go quite that far yet, since they have not yet risen to their full power and thus are forced by present circumstances to compromise on the their gospel, but I feel confident myself that they are not willing to compromise forever, as you can tell by listening to those politicians campaigning for Congress who actually advocate publically for public executions of all the fags as they are trolling for that Religious Right Swing vote.
The sad thing about the Religious Right is that while the leaders of that outfit are found to be either brain dead twits screwed over by the most faithless superstitious twaddle, or simply cynical ruthless oppressors and slippery oily sociopaths (Ted Bundy being the type of idol which attracts evil sociopaths the way a pile of shit attracts flies) many of the people who are following the lead of the religious right are people of faith with a very strong belief in God. You can tell that these people have a strong faith, because they are afraid of Ted, and thus because of their faith they can be manipulated and brutally exploited by cunning pricks like those Pharisees of the religious right.
Now when a person sees something that foul and deeply offensive, and when a person is stuck in a rut when wondering what to do about something that maniacally deviant, it becomes an inevitability that soon or later a person winds up becoming Christ like, and feels driven to be like Jesus, not because a person was asking ‘What would Jesus do,' but because a person was driven and compelled to head in that direction, which just happened to turn out to be what Jesus would do, and therefore what Jesus must have been driven by the same powerful instinctive motivating force.
According to Jesus, ruthless oppressors only oppress when they know they can get away with it, and therefore the best way to deal with such ruthless pricks is to lock and load and let them have it, wrathfulness poured full force from a cup boiling over with fury and laced with the very hottest tamales, which should ten be poured full force down the unwilling muzzles of the religious right Pharisees.
You often hear church people asking, ‘what would Jesus do?' That does not mean that you would find church people doing what Jesus would do, as you can tell, when you look at a place like America where a perverted Ted Bundy outfit like those religious right Pharisees are on the lose, and not one from any church ever bothers to ram hot tamales down their warped mouths. This would suggest that church people are either addle headed twits who think that a vampire bat is a kind of sparrow, or perhaps they are just to exhausted to give a damn any more.
Religious Right moralism proves to be more worthless than any other form of ‘moral reformism', what little there actually is of it, which is nothing at all, since ranting about sex to fill a vacuum does not count as a moral value, nor does begging for a few coins for a beggar count as a moral value in a system of ruthless oppression that creates such beggars. And when your policy consists of launching ruthless attacks on families, in the form of tax cuts and drownings and sociopathic threats against grandma, we can see that the religious right does not have ‘family values', and therefore at the end of it all the religious right has no value left at all.
About the only real value the Religious Right does have is that its hysterical apocalyptic ranting serves as a kind of egg timer for busy revolutionaries who might be tracking the progress of some flushed turd swirling down the toilet bowl of society on its inevitable trip into the sewer. As that flushed turd gets ever closer to the exit hole and about to make its ruinous plunge into the sewer of destruction, one would expect the hysterical apocalyptic ranting of the religious right to become every more bombastic, laced with increasing doses of brimstone heated to the temperatures of the deepest cracks in hell, and none of this doom and hysteria end of the world ranting would ever save the world or stop a flushed turd from behaving like a flushed turd, for it is in a toilet bowl system and by definition behaves as a flushed turd, yet even so the hysterical ranting and boiling sulphurous brimstone are indications of how close the turd is to the hole, and thus the religious right does have a value, in that it is an egg timer which marks out the ruinous collapse of human civilization, producing apocalyptic rants to demark those times in human history when moral reformism failed to stop the collapse of systems of oppression since the problem was not morals and thus could not be stopped by even the fiercest threats, but rather the problem was found in systems of oppression, like Capitalism, which is fine example of how such systems works, and which has flushed the toilet on the religious right, which means that life should get a lot more interesting and religious right religion ever more lively as the turd continues to swirl towards the hole.
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