imc indymedia

Los Angeles Indymedia : Activist News

white themeblack themered themetheme help
About Us Contact Us Calendar Publish RSS
latest news
best of news




A-Infos Radio

Indymedia On Air

Dope-X-Resistance-LA List


IMC Network:

Original Cities africa: ambazonia canarias estrecho / madiaq kenya nigeria south africa canada: hamilton london, ontario maritimes montreal ontario ottawa quebec thunder bay vancouver victoria windsor winnipeg east asia: burma jakarta japan korea manila qc europe: abruzzo alacant andorra antwerpen armenia athens austria barcelona belarus belgium belgrade bristol brussels bulgaria calabria croatia cyprus emilia-romagna estrecho / madiaq euskal herria galiza germany grenoble hungary ireland istanbul italy la plana liege liguria lille linksunten lombardia london madrid malta marseille nantes napoli netherlands nice northern england norway oost-vlaanderen paris/Île-de-france patras piemonte poland portugal roma romania russia saint-petersburg scotland sverige switzerland thessaloniki torun toscana toulouse ukraine united kingdom valencia latin america: argentina bolivia chiapas chile chile sur cmi brasil colombia ecuador mexico peru puerto rico qollasuyu rosario santiago tijuana uruguay valparaiso venezuela venezuela oceania: adelaide aotearoa brisbane burma darwin jakarta manila melbourne perth qc sydney south asia: india mumbai united states: arizona arkansas asheville atlanta austin baltimore big muddy binghamton boston buffalo charlottesville chicago cleveland colorado columbus dc hawaii houston hudson mohawk kansas city la madison maine miami michigan milwaukee minneapolis/st. paul new hampshire new jersey new mexico new orleans north carolina north texas nyc oklahoma philadelphia pittsburgh portland richmond rochester rogue valley saint louis san diego san francisco san francisco bay area santa barbara santa cruz, ca sarasota seattle tampa bay tennessee urbana-champaign vermont western mass worcester west asia: armenia beirut israel palestine process: fbi/legal updates mailing lists process & imc docs tech volunteer projects: print radio satellite tv video regions: oceania united states topics: biotech

Surviving Cities africa: canada: quebec east asia: japan europe: athens barcelona belgium bristol brussels cyprus germany grenoble ireland istanbul lille linksunten nantes netherlands norway portugal united kingdom latin america: argentina cmi brasil rosario oceania: aotearoa united states: austin big muddy binghamton boston chicago columbus la michigan nyc portland rochester saint louis san diego san francisco bay area santa cruz, ca tennessee urbana-champaign worcester west asia: palestine process: fbi/legal updates process & imc docs projects: radio satellite tv
printable version - js reader version - view hidden posts - tags and related articles

Inconsistencies in Official 9-11 Story Resolved by New “Opposite Day Theory”

by wg Hahn Friday, Aug. 26, 2005 at 7:03 AM

(SATIRE) - Millions of conspiracy theorists were silenced yesterday as the many gaping holes in the logic of the official story of 9-11 were all but sealed with one stroke when 9-11 Commission Chair Thomas Kean revealed that September 11, 2001 was actually ‘Opposite Day’.

Millions of conspiracy theorists were silenced yesterday as the many gaping holes in the logic of the official story of 9-11 were all but sealed with one stroke when 9-11 Commission Chair Thomas Kean revealed that September 11, 2001 was actually ‘Opposite Day’.

How could three buildings of the World Trade Center, including the 48 story WT7 which wasn’t even struck by a plane, with their formidable internal lattice of forty-plus steel support beams, be felled by a kerosene based jet fuel fire when kerosene burns at 850 °F and steel doesn’t even begin to warp, let alone melt, at temperatures below 2000° F? Many skeptics around the world point to the oddly familiar free fall collapse of the buildings, the complete pulverization of its concrete, and the evidence - including first hand accounts by fireman and other people at the scene - of explosive devices being detonated throughout the buildings and conclude that all three were brought down by controlled demolitions, but Kean disagrees.

“In conformity with the backward laws of Opposite Day, the flames that burned within the buildings of the World Trade Center could have easily reached 2000° F while the melting point of the steel that comprised the infrastructure would have been reduced to 850° F. This easily explains how these buildings were the first of its steel reinforced kind to fall from fire despite the fact that several others, including Philadelphia’s Meridian Plaza building in 1991, have burned far longer at much higher temperatures in the past.”

Kean also added: “And regarding the firemen who radioed reports of secondary explosions throughout the buildings and basements, these transmissions should be translated to mean that no explosions were seen, felt or caused anyone to catch on fire within the towers prior to their collapse. These men were obviously merely obeying the rules of Opposite Day as they apply to verbal discourse, and I should clarify here, not high on drugs as the government previously speculated. Our sincerest apologies to their families for any distress this error might have caused.”

Likewise, the logical and scientific inconsistencies surrounding the 9-11 attack on the Pentagon are also dispelled by the principles of Opposite Day. For example, Kean asserts that this most heavily defended building in the country, with its unparalleled radar system and missile batteries, was able to be broad sided by a clunky Boeing 767 passenger plane traveling a few hundred miles an hour for the precise reason that it doesn’t make normal sense. In addition, the fact that the impact of the 165 foot wide plane left an original hole that was only 16 feet in diameter despite the fact that its resulting detonation was so violent that the entire airliner, including all the aluminum, steel and titanium (melting point 1600° F) that comprised it was spontaneously incinerated becomes satisfactory within the purview of the Opposite Day Theory.

“Not that I need to elaborate to such an extent at this point,” spoke Kean, “But it also bears mentioning that this new revelation effectively solves the anomaly of why it took NORAD so darn long to deploy fighter jets to attempt to intercept the airliners – in the case of the plane that eventually crashed into the Pentagon they took over forty minutes to do so even after the plane diverted radically from its designated flight path and ceased mandatory check-ins subsequent to two other planes being hijacked and used as giant death missiles on the World Trade Center in New York for crying out loud.”

Kean proffered such examples of seemingly irreconcilable deviations from normalcy along with some anecdotal evidence to substantiate the validity of the new theory.

“Is everyone at NORAD just lazy? I assure you they are not. When famous golfer Payne Stewart drifted off course after falling unconscious at the helm of a private plane in 1999 they had fighters scrambled within seven minutes. Are the airport screeners who let each and every one of the twenty-one Arab terrorists with non-Arab names on board airliners in possession of knives, box cutters, guns, gas and gas masks all stupid morons? I don’t care if its before or after 9-11 – you get twenty friends together and try to all successfully board four different planes carrying that kind of gear and see how it works out. How about the terrorists themselves? Why would they go out of their way to hit the east side of the Pentagon when it was being renovated and held few people and no high-ranking officials? What are they, a bunch of idiots? No way, it might feel good to say so, but remember, they hatched and executed this elaborate, diabolical plot that caught us all off guard.”

“I might also mention,” Kean appended, “That it has come to our attention that dozens of steel lanterns belonging to campers were inexplicably melted by their kerosene flames the morning of 9-11. What does all of this tell us? What can the only reasonable explanation be? Opposite Day.”

Kean then concluded his remarks by emphatically addressing the primary implication of the conjecture of most conspiracy theorists that certain members of the US government orchestrated the attacks to serve as a pretext for the commencement of global military campaigns, the curtailment of domestic civil liberties, etc.

“That’s all tin-hat stuff. It might not always seem like it, but our government truly has our best interests at heart, loves us and is only trying to do what’s best.”

Report this post as:

Local News

More Pix: "Families Belong Together," Pasadena J02 12:16PM

"Families Belong Together" March, Pasadena J02 12:08PM

Short Report on the Families Belong Together Protest in Los Angeles J30 4:26PM

Summer 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert! J10 11:58PM

Watch the Debate: Excluded Candidates for Governor of California M30 10:20PM

Change Links June 2018 posted M28 12:41AM

The Montrose Peace Vigil at 12 Years M22 1:01PM

Unity Archive Project M21 2:42AM

Dianne Feinstein's Promotion of War, Secret Animal Abuse, Military Profiteering, Censorshi M17 3:22PM

CA Senate Bill 1303 would require an independent coroner rather than being part of police M10 2:08PM

Three years after OC snitch scandal, no charges filed against sheriffs deputies M10 1:57PM

California police agencies violate Brown Act (open meetings) M02 1:31PM

Insane Company Wants To Send Nuke Plant Waste To New Mexico A29 4:47PM

Change Links May 2018 A27 1:40AM

Worker-Owned Car Wash on Vermont Closed A26 10:37PM


lausd whistle blower A10 11:58PM

Website Upgrade A10 3:02AM

Help KCET and UCLA identify 60s-70s Chicano images A04 1:02PM

UCLA Luskin: Casting Youth Justice in a Different Light A02 11:58AM

Change Links April 2018 A01 11:27AM

Nuclear Shutdown News March 2018 M31 6:57PM

Join The Protest Rally in Glendale on April 10, 2018! M29 7:00PM

Spring 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert! M19 2:02PM

Anti-Eviction Mapping Project Shows Shocking Eviction Trends in L.A. M16 5:40PM

Steve Mnuchin video at UCLA released M15 12:34AM

Actress and Philanthropist Tanna Frederick Hosts Project Save Our Surf Beach Clean Ups M06 12:10PM

After Being Told He's 'Full of Sh*t' at School Event, Mnuchin Demands UCLA Suppress Video M02 11:44AM

More Local News...

Other/Breaking News

Democratic Socialists of America J14 4:57PM

Leonard Peltier Non Violent Native American Political Prisoner since 1970's J14 4:18PM

Paraphysique miscellanées de l'aggiornamento J14 12:54AM

Actress and Philanthropist Tanna Frederick Hosts Project Save Our Surf Beach Cleanup J13 4:14PM

FBI Investigated LA County Sheriff Baca,Why Not Hank Skinner's Persecution? J13 3:52PM

Updated Partial List Of Famous Vegetarians, Vegans, & Fruitarians J13 2:59PM

The Shortwave Report 07136/18 Listen Globally! J12 4:36PM

Social Policy as Social Infrastructure J12 3:38AM

Vol I: 84 Varieties Of GOP Election Fraud J12 1:50AM

Texas Can Call it An Execution,But It is A State Sponsored Murder of Hank Skinner.. J11 6:48PM

June 2018 Honduras coup update J11 3:35PM

Maria Estrada doubles down on racist support J11 1:40PM

New York Women in Film & Television Announces 2018 NYWIFT Ha Phuong Scholarship Recipients J11 10:14AM

Trapps de la domination, trapps de l'aliénation J11 1:31AM

Please Work For The Defeat Of Brett Kavanaugh And Why J09 8:54PM

Change Links 2018 July posted J09 1:27PM

Transinhumanisme ( transe inhumanisme ) J09 12:44PM

Google, World's Biggest Censor, Was Founded By The CIA J09 10:25AM

For a World Free of Nuclear Risks J09 8:29AM

Corrupt CDC Ignores Meat Fish Recalls J09 4:55AM

The (Temporary) End of Globalization J09 3:03AM

Aternatives to Abortions such as Plan B the pill, condoms and IUD J08 4:03PM

U.S Congressional Legal Minds Know Better Than Allowing Texas To Murder Hank Skinner J08 3:37PM

ACLU in many US states defends in court KKK and American Nazis Sometimes for Money J07 11:28PM

Judge Brett Kavanaugh: 12 Of Many Reasons To Oppose Him J07 9:00AM

Insensibilité engrammée J07 2:37AM

Silver Lining J07 12:21AM

The Shortwave Report 07/06/18 Listen Globally! J05 4:38PM

More Breaking News...
© 2000-2018 Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Unless otherwise stated by the author, all content is free for non-commercial reuse, reprint, and rebroadcast, on the net and elsewhere. Opinions are those of the contributors and are not necessarily endorsed by the Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Running sf-active v0.9.4 Disclaimer | Privacy