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Wednesday, Feb. 16, 2005 at 12:37 PM
firstname.lastname@example.org Demonocracy Phantom
A top investigative story by M.A.Hussain
The world-renowned investigative journalist Mr. M.A.Hussian reports on a clandestine American virtual machine code named “Demonocracy Phantom”, master minded by a special wing of C.I.A namely SOSO (Special officer’s Secret Operations). The phantom is the brainchild of the best of “the American brains”. However the investigation reveals that “the best American brains” is actually “the brain drain” of other nations who have served phantom for whole of their lives. The investigation also says that the rumour that most of the Americans are idiots and morally bankrupt does not seem to be untrue. Here is the report:
New York (M.A.Hussain): American Defense Secretary Rumsfled trashed the criticism of pessimists that the demonocracy phantom has failed in its mission in Iraq. He was addressing a group of selected scientists, experts, specialists and media men including this reporter somewhere in New York. He said that those who supported our “war on terrorism” against “their” “war on democracy” have already got several jackpots. May it be oil companies or companies dealing in defense or offering security services all of these have fed the phantom enough Pro-Fit to make it burst into laughter several times during last two years. He further said that our “war on terrorism” is "war by the people, war of the people and war for the benefit of the people” and their “war on democracy” is “war on the people, war for the benefit of a few and war by the paid merciless mercenaries of the few. Our war is a just war and their war is an evil war. This is war between good and evil, and is a permanent, perpetual and never-ending war.
Rumsfled also refuted the allegation that demonocracy phantom has killed millions in their homes not on the battlefronts as baseless. He dismissed this as mere propaganda of dead enders and their media like Al-jazeera. He said that phantom born and brought up in New York knows little about lanes and by-lanes of Fallujah and Sadr City (in Iraq) or Afghan villages. Hence phantom relies on Assistant demonocrats; “human sensors” and “human appendages” called foot soldiers for logistic support and human intelligence. He declared that as the Phantom does not know anything about its enemy except its coordinated provided by satellite images or human intelligence, it cannot be held responsible in any court of law for collateral damages including killing of so-called innocent persons or so-called innocent children during Arial bombing.
Rumsfled called all this mere demonization of demoancracy phantom; a conspiracy hatched by enemy media like Al-jazeera embedded with enemies of democracy. He thundered “Phantom has done a great service to the American nation, the New World (dis) order, to the cause of the democracy and freedom the world over. Phantom is not against any religion or race. In fact Allah fearing political forces the world over have been our trusted allies in our fight against God denying communists since antiquity. Even our bitter European critics cannot wish evil to US as it will hurt “them” too and plunge the whole world economy into crisis. He challenged those talking of isolating and boycotting US to boycott America and get your own economy in reverse gear.
Rumsfled said that phantom is fighting a faceless enemy and does not know its victims who are unleashing war on democracy in their own lands and in their own homes, shamelessly beating their wives. Therefore no tears to be shed if the phantom destroys whole enemy families, enemy children and enemy wives. He urged Americans to let phantom complete its job. He rubbished the criticism that phantom is a faceless killing machine with no religion, race or ethnicity, only the lust for the Pro-Fit.
Rumsfled urged Americans that they should just refuse to accept the propaganda the phantom is killing children in their “own” interest for the better future of their “own” children, their “own” grand children and American century. Rest assured that the steps are being taken to decapitate such hostile enemy media like Al-jazeera very soon. He further said that the most of the American media have been provided all the facilities; safety and security in safe heavens in Baghdad and Kabul to report without stepping out of the security zones, they do not report any false news. Americans should rely on such media men, as the information they provide is the truth.
Rumsfled warned the enemy media that its hostile acts will not be tolerated any longer and stop spreading lies. He further said that the American administration has already taken necessary steps in this direction like banning taking videos of coffins coming home and the troops who have been seriously injured are kept away from the enemy media and from evil-doers.
In response to a question by this reporter, Rumsfled said that had phantom been a racist, it would not have allowed “white” American daughters to be part of the harem of oil Sheiks and Arab kings to suck Pro-Fit from them. He further said: “ this is a state secret that making available white American girls to visiting Arab dignitaries has been the part of the protocol since decades”. He was heard murmuring to himself by this reporter: “ some naughty Arab princes even make porno with them”.
While explaining the reasons why Phantom cannot be held responsible for what it does in any court of law. Rumsfled said that it is still in beta stage that is under-development (in fact the stage of decadence). R & D (Research & Development) are in the progress to remove the loopholes and vulnerabilities (particularly its inability to surmount ethnocentric barriers) to make phantom master of this universe. He said that he gets disheartened when he sees both America’s European friends and foes exploiting phantom’s loopholes and shortcomings. Human sensors and Assistant demonocrats exploit Phantoms ignorance of cultural milieu of alien lands of Pro-Fit rich dark corners of the world. Thus make such a marvelous machine, the Phantom, behave like an idiot. May it be Osama, Chalabi, Afghans or Arab kings, even Isreal and Iranian Mullahs, all of them take Phantom for a ride and grinds their own axe and clandestinely pursues their own agenda, the Phantom pays the price. For example when phantom goes to Pakistan on a mission, bay sharam (shameless) Musharaf of Pakistan puts one or the two most sought after former pro-American freedom fighters turned rebels popularly known as Al-Qaida Mujahids in its appendages against law of the land (and without any due process of law) and gets a million dollar jack pot. Phantom leaves Pakistan crying with joy “Mugabo bohut kushhoa” When Saudi Arabia comes in its radar as a hub of enemies of demonocracy, the kings and oil Sheiks make phantom sit on the nipple of an oil well such that phantom starts sucking un-refined crude oil into its bottomless belly. The crude oil blurs its radar screen. Phantom gets sedated and goes back to its pavilion.
Rumsfled urged Europe to appreciate the fact that “our” problems are the problems of the whole world (dis) order. He bemoaned the betrayal of certain European powers and former assistant demonocrats particularly Al-Qaida friends turned foes. However sources close to Osama bin laden told this reporter how phantom has betrayed them knowing that the credit to make phantom the only super power goes to Al-Qaida. The sources said that instead of taking us as partners phantom treats us as mercenaries and foot soldieries we were not. “After collapse of Soviet Empire almost all Christian dominated Soviet states were freed from communists and church got full freedom, Bibles were pumped into these states in tons. The demonocracy was established in these states whereas Islam was banned in Muslim majority of former soviet states and these states were handed over back to communists dictators. Our fault is that we demanded 50:50 share in the booty out of fallen Soviet Empire. What we got is only truncated Afghanistan.”
Delving deep into the phantom story, this reporter learnt that Phantom lives on a special stuff called “Pro-Fit” in huge quantities which is extracted from life activity of millions of Americans and mixed with their blood, their sweat and the American soil and then fed to the phantom. The problem arises as the phantom still feels hungry and gets angry bellowing ferociously and threatening to destroy America by throwing depleted uranium over civilian populations through its nozzle like mouth. It is said that if Americans fail to satisfy the insatiable hunger of the phantom for a minute it can plunge whole world into chaos and war. This forces the American deamonocrats to indulge in outsourcing and they send their vultures of Pro-Fit to all Pro-Fit rich dark corners of the world. However they are found of oil fields. The problem arises when the local populace confronts these vultures of Pro-Fit. Thus denying their democratic rights and this is nothing but a war on democracy and destroying New World Order. Hence the phantom devastates whole of their cities, detroyes all of their civil infrastructure and killing million of civilians indiscriminately through what it calls precision strikes. .
This reporter learnt that phantom is marvelous virtual machine of artificial intelligence, social engineering and deceptive communication. It is a non-human machine like lifeless monster with huge appendages and nozzle like mouth with user friendly interface which includes audio and video outputs etc. It has a bottomless belly as a fuel reservoir through it sucks highly refined fuel. With the help of its nuclear powered wings it can fly. Phantom is equipped with radars, satellite communication devices, sensors, and transducers of all kinds and with versatile software making it possible to map atomic nuclei to whole earth in a single map. Its operating system has tremendous portability and is capable of running in any cultural milieu with good adaptability to new environments. It has multi tasking, self-testing and troubles shooting capability.
Phantom is also a deceptive communication machine it holds public relation exercises with 100 % success rate. So much so it has a real hegemony in defining what is truth and what is falsehood. The arsenals like WMDec (weapons of mass deception) have made it invincible super power. It has decapitated millions of Americans with its special WMDec code named as Bible and they behave like monkeys. Recently American democnocarts put Phantom into Jesus Christ garb successfully and won hellelection. However true American Christians call this an insult to Jesus Christ who chose to defeat his enemy morally and exposed his barbaric face by giving his life not by killing as morally bankrupt demonocrats do.
Phantom is a consent-engineering machine. It holds helleletions at home and abroad, in which it always wins, as Hitler did. It appoints its managers, administrators and jockeys every four years who control and manage millions of “beasts of burden” carrying Pro-Fit on their backs like donkeys. It forces some Americans to behave like bloody wolves and “human appendages” as merciless mercenaries.
Phantom as a war machine is a non-human monster seemingly invincible,
unbeatable and unmatched
killing machine that has no rival on this earth. However the
journalistAbbay Mehta sayshat Phantom has recently found a match in
Fallujah and was effective defeated by brave heroic people of
right thinking people all over the world salute the people of
Fallujah for their heroic deeds. Phantom is capable of killing any one
anywhere in the world through “surgical precision strikes” when
it gets frustrated. It can devastate whole planet with use of
WMD. Even it can knock your doors
through its human appendages called assassins. This reporter clicked this link to
see the long list of war crimescommitted by the phantom .
Rumsfled acknowledged that we won cold war because of our friends and their active cooperation, not because of our advanced military technology or military superiority. It is they who made US the only super power on this earth, honestly credit goes to “them”. He said that the list of assistant democrats of phantom is composite and multi-cultural, multi-racial, multi-ethnic. He further said that some of the assistant demonocrats are world famous. For example former Mujahid (holy worrier) of democracy turned rebel Allah fearing Mr. Osama bin laden who helped the phantom in its fight against God denying Soviet empire in Afghanistan, Chenchenya, Bosnia. Iraq born American citizens like Allawi and Challabi helped phantom in Iraq considered as bastion of enemies of vultures of Pro-Fit. Bay sharam demonocrat Musharaf of Pakistan helped US a lot in Afghanistan. House of Saud is embedded with phantom in Saudi Arabia. His Excellencies of Kuwaiti, Jordan and also Allah fearing Mullahs of Iran covertly helped phantom in Iraq and Afghanistan and great rebel Sadam Hussein of Iraq shacked hands with Phantom against Iranian revolution, (which had the potential of radicalizing whole Arab world and under-developed countries and give a big defeat to imperialist forces). The list seems to be endless.
Rumsfled called pessimists and rejectionists insane for saying that Iraq is a quagmire. He said that he remembers well in early days of liberation of Iraq when he visited Baghdad, “ I had to fled my pants in my hands, when I was attacked by the Iraqi dead enders. Now the situation has improved a lot”. The sources close to Rumsfled say it was after this incident that he was nicknamed by the world media as RumsFLED instead of Rumsfeld.
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