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by Heckraiser Sunday, Jan. 16, 2005 at 10:19 AM

"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned, they did not help the poor and needy" Ezekiel 16:49

In the immediate aftermath of the horrific Indian Ocean tsunami, [Godless Socialist] Sweden quickly pleged an aid package that amounted to .40 in help from every Swede. [Atheist Den Of Iniquity] Denmark immediately pledged the equivalent of .90 for every Dane.

The United States, via ["Christian"] President George W. Bush, pledged 12 cents per American." [Talk about compassionate conservatism: that's almost enough to buy an entire gummy bear.]

However, he did manage to scrape together 9.00 (As of January 14th) per American in order to pay for the Iraq Quagmire.

Jesus said to sell all you own and give to the needy, but republicans only care about people who are needy for ,000 cell phones:

"Happy days, it would seem, are here again," notes the New York Times, "at least for people who can afford to spend on a hamburger and 90 minutes eating it."

...At New York's exclusive Four Seasons restaurant, the white truffle risotto appetizer goes for 0....[Think about it. 12 cents to the hungry, 13,000 cents to oneself for an appetizer. In the name of Jesus, of course.]

...Vertu's lavish new cell phones come complete with sapphire-crystal screens and ruby bearings and retail for anywhere from ,900 to ,450...

...Some owners of spanking new mansions have the patience to wait for little saplings to grow. For those who don't, Ace Tree Movers would be happy to help.

...Just ,000 will buy you a Japanese umbrella pine. A weeping copper beach? Only ,000."

Even the conservative _The Economist_ notes:

"A growing body of evidence suggests that the meritocratic ideal is in trouble in America. Income inequality is growing to levels not seen since the Gilded Age, around the 1880s. But social mobility is not increasing at anything like the same pace: would-be Horatio Algers are finding it no easier to climb from rags to riches, while the children of the privileged have a greater chance of staying at the top of the social heap. The United States risks calcifying into a European-style class-based society."

-The Economist
, Meritocracy in America: Ever higher society, ever harder to ascend, December 29, 2004

One where the scum floats on the top - Case in point: Lord Conrad Black

"The British crown that year named Black, whose massive newspaper empire included the Chicago Sun-Times and London's Daily Telegraph, as a lord of the realm."

Never mind that he is a common criminal who stole 0 million from his company's coffers.

"Black, the report documents, routinely expensed to Hollinger bills for his own personal consumption. Hollinger footed the bill for his exercise equipment, stereo, and opera tickets. Hollinger paid for his wife's handbags and jogging attire. Hollinger even shelled out ,000 to refurbish a Rolls-Royce for Black's motoring pleasure."

So how do the republicans get away with it when they are so obviously guilty of Sodomy? Well, they know a little bit about psychology. They know how to convince people in the the highest-divorce-rate part of the country (the bible belt) to scapegoat the lowest-divorce-rate part of the country (Whose senator has the initials JFK) for their sins.

As evidenced by the claims that Kerry would ban the Bible (claimed by the same folks who hold Harry Potter book-burnings), they know how to start a Moral Panic and how to turn any progressive into a Folk Devil. They've practised this art to perfection because they've been doing it without pause for thousands of years. They were certainly hard at work in a town called Sodom.

"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned, they did not help the poor and needy."

Ezekiel 16:49

But the reactionaries always lose. It's just a question of how long until they lose, and much damage they'll manage to inflict before the inevitable happens.

I call on everyone, let's not be like the decadent yaught-club poodles with their ,000 cell phones, and remember the courage and tenacity of the Tsunami survivors who lived with little and now have nothing at all. I give all extra money I have to make the world a better place, and so should you. Wealth is nothing but a drug that can only make you soft.



Our fearless business leaders are always coming up with innovative solutions to the world's problems: "It seems nowadays that, for those of us who work in big cities, we spend most of the time outside it, on the motorways. Everyone is aware of the congestion problem that haunts us on the way to our jobs, but what are we to do?"

Yes, God put the business community on top because they're more moral than the rest of us. Leave it to them to stand up against the suffering caused by "Breathing in those poisonous fumes on your way through the city..."So what ingenious solution have they come up with?


That's right, Helicopters.


First of all, humanity benefits because "you have the enviable position of laughing at all your other colleagues stuck in jams while you rush past at 100mph."

"They're not much bigger than an SUV, they don't cost much more..." which of course says more about the gluttony of SUV buyers than anything about helicopters.

Right now suburbs are designed to be unlivable to those who don't drive, they don't even have sidewalks. Is it worth it to have a future where you can't do anything if you don't fly, and there's no roads? How can we be certain that this is the best solution to our traffic, pollution, and lack of public transit? Well, let's not forget that a helicopter is " ...enviable. Leather upholstery, tinted windows, they've got it all...having one of these outside your house looks pretty good indeed."

Somebody give these guys a tax cut NOW!

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Here's the readable version: Heckraiser Sunday, Jan. 16, 2005 at 10:23 AM
So Show Them Some Ass! Seymour Butts Sunday, Jan. 16, 2005 at 12:43 PM

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