imc indymedia

Los Angeles Indymedia : Activist News

white themeblack themered themetheme help
About Us Contact Us Calendar Publish RSS
Features
latest news
best of news
syndication
commentary


KILLRADIO

VozMob

ABCF LA

A-Infos Radio

Indymedia On Air

Dope-X-Resistance-LA List

LAAMN List




IMC Network:

Original Cities

www.indymedia.org africa: ambazonia canarias estrecho / madiaq kenya nigeria south africa canada: hamilton london, ontario maritimes montreal ontario ottawa quebec thunder bay vancouver victoria windsor winnipeg east asia: burma jakarta japan korea manila qc europe: abruzzo alacant andorra antwerpen armenia athens austria barcelona belarus belgium belgrade bristol brussels bulgaria calabria croatia cyprus emilia-romagna estrecho / madiaq euskal herria galiza germany grenoble hungary ireland istanbul italy la plana liege liguria lille linksunten lombardia london madrid malta marseille nantes napoli netherlands nice northern england norway oost-vlaanderen paris/Île-de-france patras piemonte poland portugal roma romania russia saint-petersburg scotland sverige switzerland thessaloniki torun toscana toulouse ukraine united kingdom valencia latin america: argentina bolivia chiapas chile chile sur cmi brasil colombia ecuador mexico peru puerto rico qollasuyu rosario santiago tijuana uruguay valparaiso venezuela venezuela oceania: adelaide aotearoa brisbane burma darwin jakarta manila melbourne perth qc sydney south asia: india mumbai united states: arizona arkansas asheville atlanta austin baltimore big muddy binghamton boston buffalo charlottesville chicago cleveland colorado columbus dc hawaii houston hudson mohawk kansas city la madison maine miami michigan milwaukee minneapolis/st. paul new hampshire new jersey new mexico new orleans north carolina north texas nyc oklahoma philadelphia pittsburgh portland richmond rochester rogue valley saint louis san diego san francisco san francisco bay area santa barbara santa cruz, ca sarasota seattle tampa bay tennessee urbana-champaign vermont western mass worcester west asia: armenia beirut israel palestine process: fbi/legal updates mailing lists process & imc docs tech volunteer projects: print radio satellite tv video regions: oceania united states topics: biotech

Surviving Cities

www.indymedia.org africa: canada: quebec east asia: japan europe: athens barcelona belgium bristol brussels cyprus germany grenoble ireland istanbul lille linksunten nantes netherlands norway portugal united kingdom latin america: argentina cmi brasil rosario oceania: aotearoa united states: austin big muddy binghamton boston chicago columbus la michigan nyc portland rochester saint louis san diego san francisco bay area santa cruz, ca tennessee urbana-champaign worcester west asia: palestine process: fbi/legal updates process & imc docs projects: radio satellite tv
printable version - js reader version - view hidden posts - tags and related articles

I See Dumb People

by Bob Wallace Friday, Oct. 17, 2003 at 9:43 AM

YOU forgot to waive your flag vigorously!

I'm in the wrong universe. I suspect the one I want is over thataway just a few inches. It's the one in which I didn't have to disappoint several dozen women when my father tore down the treehouse.

It's also the one in which perceptive little kids in movies don't say, "I see dead people." Instead, they say, "I see a man who wants to be President even though he can't even make a puddle of gravy in the center of his mashed potatoes without it running over the sides." That's just a long version of the more succinct, "I see dumb people."

Such kids would be like those canaries in mines that keel over when they smell gas, which of course is what bloats all politicians. They could warn the rest of us before we voted, including me, since the last time I voted (and it will be the last time I ever vote, because I'm outgunned by the dumb) I cast mine for a guy who, not so long ago and in a galaxy not so far away, had a jug-eared ancestor known as Mortimer the Snerd.

And all because I was paralyzed as solid as a Popsicle, frozen with horror at the thought of the über-bore know as Al Gore being President. Ha! Like it would have made any difference. We might as well have voted my friend Greg into office. He's the one who claims he's King of the Wiener Dogs, and that's even before downing a few beers.

Ultimately, I'd rather live in a world in which everyone takes the physical form of what they are inside. Fat chance. It'd be doubleplusgood, though, since I'd look just like Curly from the Three Stooges.

It ain't fair. In cartoons and myths and fairy tales all the witches have droopy noses and big hairy moles and all the monsters have scales and big pointy teeth. They're easy to identity. All you have to do is swivel your eyeballs in their direction and engage maybe one-tenth of your brain. Heck, a cockroach is smart enough to run from a human; why don't humans run from the monsters who steal their money and start wars?

But dang it, it doesn't work the way it should in real life. Usually the monsters wear suits and ties and have big sunny (if insincere) smiles. It's hard to identify them, and even when you do, some people don't believe you. How many people still don't believe Bill Clinton is a serial rapist?

Things would be a lot easier in a world where if the sky darkens because something is in between people and the sun, they can look up (probably with mouths agape and an expression on their faces like a dog watching a yo-yo) and see Hillary flapping her wings as she flies off to her lair with a screaming Republican dangling from her beak.

On one hand, you could smile, because she is ridding the world of a bunch of fake conservatives (anybody, even a monster, what ets politicians gets the thumbs up from me). On the other hand, after they've slid down her gullet, she's going to go after all the kids in your village. And we all know it takes only one Hillarybeast to raze all the children in a village.

So, everyone could have a grand old time breaking out the pitchforks and spears and maces and flaming torches and storming the monster's lair to slay it. It'd be just like being in one of those Hobbit movies, only without the hairy toes. The downside is that the monster might eat a few of the villagers, which would be okay if they were the busybodies and telemarketers.

Most probably, though, some decent folk would get swallowed. Okay, scratch that idea, although in such a world people who are deluded that Hillary is a decent person would instantly grok what she really is after watching her go all Marv Albert gnawing on an opponent like a chicken wing.

I'd still rather deal with her husband, who, if he was on the outside what he is on the inside, would have goat legs, horns on his head, and a pan pipe to play.

Okay, let's try a safer, gentler alternate universe. How about one in which the people-monsters aren't Big 'n' Scary, but Lil' an' Amusing? I'd like to live in one in which any person who says, "I'm running for office" goes poof and shrinks to the size of a June bug. Then you could just squish 'em. Although, to be fair, I'd give them a chance to repent. If they'd didn't, then I'd squish 'em. Squish 'em good.

Life would be so much simpler and nicer in a universe I prefer (someday I'm going to write a novel and call it, The Nice Universe). All the Bad Guys would turn into tiny little monsters that could be stepped on. Although, to indulge my mean streak, I would put them in an empty aquarium at home and let the cats stare at them until their tiny little hearts (if they have hearts) burst from terror ("Whadja say there, little monster? One law for you and another for me? Do as you say and not as you do?"). Turnabout's fair play, right?

But life's not the way I want it. Instead, I have to use my second-favorite organ: my brain. I have to decide who the monsters are from what they say and what they do, not from how they look. Even if I may not like the cover, the words inside the book are the most important.

I have friends who look and act like squirrels, and others who don't know the '60s are over. Their covers are weird, but the insides of the books are full of all kinds of good (if goofy) stuff. For one thing, they don't want power over other people, unlike the monsters, who may look just fine on the outside, but on the inside are tombs full of bones and other rotten stuff...hmm...boy, that quote sure sounds familiar.

In my alternate universe the monsters can't lie about what they are, because it's obvious in their wrinkled hides and ugly snouts. In this universe the monsters not only can lie, they always lie. And like the obvious monsters in my other world, they want power over others. And murder and destruction. After all, isn't that the definition of a monster? Lies and power over others and murder and destruction?

I'll be darned; maybe identifying the monsters in this universe isn't as hard as I thought.

October 16, 2003

Bob Wallace [send him mail] is the author of I Write What I See. Please visit his Shameless Book Promotion Page. And here is his Page Full o' Fun.

Report this post as:

Local News

More Pix: "Families Belong Together," Pasadena J02 12:16PM

"Families Belong Together" March, Pasadena J02 12:08PM

Short Report on the Families Belong Together Protest in Los Angeles J30 4:26PM

Summer 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert! J10 11:58PM

Watch the Debate: Excluded Candidates for Governor of California M30 10:20PM

Change Links June 2018 posted M28 12:41AM

The Montrose Peace Vigil at 12 Years M22 1:01PM

Unity Archive Project M21 2:42AM

Dianne Feinstein's Promotion of War, Secret Animal Abuse, Military Profiteering, Censorshi M17 3:22PM

CA Senate Bill 1303 would require an independent coroner rather than being part of police M10 2:08PM

Three years after OC snitch scandal, no charges filed against sheriffs deputies M10 1:57PM

California police agencies violate Brown Act (open meetings) M02 1:31PM

Insane Company Wants To Send Nuke Plant Waste To New Mexico A29 4:47PM

Change Links May 2018 A27 1:40AM

Worker-Owned Car Wash on Vermont Closed A26 10:37PM

GUIDE TO REBEL CITY LOS ANGELES AVAILABLE A12 5:39PM

lausd whistle blower A10 11:58PM

Website Upgrade A10 3:02AM

Help KCET and UCLA identify 60s-70s Chicano images A04 1:02PM

UCLA Luskin: Casting Youth Justice in a Different Light A02 11:58AM

Change Links April 2018 A01 11:27AM

Nuclear Shutdown News March 2018 M31 6:57PM

Join The Protest Rally in Glendale on April 10, 2018! M29 7:00PM

Spring 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert! M19 2:02PM

Anti-Eviction Mapping Project Shows Shocking Eviction Trends in L.A. M16 5:40PM

Steve Mnuchin video at UCLA released M15 12:34AM

Actress and Philanthropist Tanna Frederick Hosts Project Save Our Surf Beach Clean Ups M06 12:10PM

After Being Told He's 'Full of Sh*t' at School Event, Mnuchin Demands UCLA Suppress Video M02 11:44AM

More Local News...

Other/Breaking News

Children Incorporated Earns 4-Star Rating on Charity Navigator J16 11:24AM

Democratic Socialists of America J14 4:57PM

Leonard Peltier Non Violent Native American Political Prisoner since 1970's J14 4:18PM

Paraphysique miscellanées de l'aggiornamento J14 12:54AM

Actress and Philanthropist Tanna Frederick Hosts Project Save Our Surf Beach Cleanup J13 4:14PM

FBI Investigated LA County Sheriff Baca,Why Not Hank Skinner's Persecution? J13 3:52PM

Updated Partial List Of Famous Vegetarians, Vegans, & Fruitarians J13 2:59PM

The Shortwave Report 07136/18 Listen Globally! J12 4:36PM

Social Policy as Social Infrastructure J12 3:38AM

Vol I: 84 Varieties Of GOP Election Fraud J12 1:50AM

Texas Can Call it An Execution,But It is A State Sponsored Murder of Hank Skinner.. J11 6:48PM

June 2018 Honduras coup update J11 3:35PM

Maria Estrada doubles down on racist support J11 1:40PM

New York Women in Film & Television Announces 2018 NYWIFT Ha Phuong Scholarship Recipients J11 10:14AM

Trapps de la domination, trapps de l'aliénation J11 1:31AM

Please Work For The Defeat Of Brett Kavanaugh And Why J09 8:54PM

Change Links 2018 July posted J09 1:27PM

Transinhumanisme ( transe inhumanisme ) J09 12:44PM

Google, World's Biggest Censor, Was Founded By The CIA J09 10:25AM

For a World Free of Nuclear Risks J09 8:29AM

Corrupt CDC Ignores Meat Fish Recalls J09 4:55AM

The (Temporary) End of Globalization J09 3:03AM

Aternatives to Abortions such as Plan B the pill, condoms and IUD J08 4:03PM

U.S Congressional Legal Minds Know Better Than Allowing Texas To Murder Hank Skinner J08 3:37PM

ACLU in many US states defends in court KKK and American Nazis Sometimes for Money J07 11:28PM

Judge Brett Kavanaugh: 12 Of Many Reasons To Oppose Him J07 9:00AM

Insensibilité engrammée J07 2:37AM

Silver Lining J07 12:21AM

More Breaking News...
© 2000-2018 Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Unless otherwise stated by the author, all content is free for non-commercial reuse, reprint, and rebroadcast, on the net and elsewhere. Opinions are those of the contributors and are not necessarily endorsed by the Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Running sf-active v0.9.4 Disclaimer | Privacy