imc indymedia

Los Angeles Indymedia : Activist News

white themeblack themered themetheme help
About Us Contact Us Calendar Publish RSS
Features
latest news
best of news
syndication
commentary


KILLRADIO

VozMob

ABCF LA

A-Infos Radio

Indymedia On Air

Dope-X-Resistance-LA List

LAAMN List




IMC Network:

Original Cities

www.indymedia.org africa: ambazonia canarias estrecho / madiaq kenya nigeria south africa canada: hamilton london, ontario maritimes montreal ontario ottawa quebec thunder bay vancouver victoria windsor winnipeg east asia: burma jakarta japan korea manila qc europe: abruzzo alacant andorra antwerpen armenia athens austria barcelona belarus belgium belgrade bristol brussels bulgaria calabria croatia cyprus emilia-romagna estrecho / madiaq euskal herria galiza germany grenoble hungary ireland istanbul italy la plana liege liguria lille linksunten lombardia london madrid malta marseille nantes napoli netherlands nice northern england norway oost-vlaanderen paris/Île-de-france patras piemonte poland portugal roma romania russia saint-petersburg scotland sverige switzerland thessaloniki torun toscana toulouse ukraine united kingdom valencia latin america: argentina bolivia chiapas chile chile sur cmi brasil colombia ecuador mexico peru puerto rico qollasuyu rosario santiago tijuana uruguay valparaiso venezuela venezuela oceania: adelaide aotearoa brisbane burma darwin jakarta manila melbourne perth qc sydney south asia: india mumbai united states: arizona arkansas asheville atlanta austin baltimore big muddy binghamton boston buffalo charlottesville chicago cleveland colorado columbus dc hawaii houston hudson mohawk kansas city la madison maine miami michigan milwaukee minneapolis/st. paul new hampshire new jersey new mexico new orleans north carolina north texas nyc oklahoma philadelphia pittsburgh portland richmond rochester rogue valley saint louis san diego san francisco san francisco bay area santa barbara santa cruz, ca sarasota seattle tampa bay tennessee urbana-champaign vermont western mass worcester west asia: armenia beirut israel palestine process: fbi/legal updates mailing lists process & imc docs tech volunteer projects: print radio satellite tv video regions: oceania united states topics: biotech

Surviving Cities

www.indymedia.org africa: canada: quebec east asia: japan europe: athens barcelona belgium bristol brussels cyprus germany grenoble ireland istanbul lille linksunten nantes netherlands norway portugal united kingdom latin america: argentina cmi brasil rosario oceania: aotearoa united states: austin big muddy binghamton boston chicago columbus la michigan nyc portland rochester saint louis san diego san francisco bay area santa cruz, ca tennessee urbana-champaign worcester west asia: palestine process: fbi/legal updates process & imc docs projects: radio satellite tv
printable version - js reader version - view hidden posts - tags and related articles

Marriage: just say no

by Darren Blacksmith Tuesday, Oct. 07, 2003 at 11:13 AM

Marriage is crumbling in the West, and may soon be almost gone.

The forces building against marriage are insurmountable; marriage is crumbling in the West, and may soon be almost gone.

Don’t do it guys. Don’t get married. It hurts me to say this, as I’ve always viewed a successful marriage as my main goal in life, and I’m one of the most romantic fools you’ll ever meet. But I can’t deny reality any longer.

I address myself here to the ‘good guys’, the men who work hard, who treat women nicely, act responsible then get turned over by women who call them ‘boring’ and prefer to date the bastards. Do you believe your value to a woman is purely to add a bit of color to her life, as someone to challenge her and keep her on her toes, as nothing but the bad boy who will prove to her that all men are scum? If so then by all means get married, but brace yourself for the very real possibility of what happens when your nuclear family goes nuclear.

Dating and finding a wife is a game of numbers. To get a date you are going to have to talk to a certain volume of women, to get a girlfriend you’re going to have to get a certain volume of dates, and to get a wife you are going to have to work yourself through a certain volume of girlfriends. But as any serious young guy knows: Western women are sabotaging the game. They have become indifferent towards men and scathing towards good men. I don’t sincerely think that older men have any appreciation of how bad things have gotten for young men looking for a date.

If you are in possession of a decent character, if you believe you have a right to keep the fruits of your labour, and that no-one has the right to stop you from spending time with your own children, then consider Western marriage an extremely high-risk project. Ignore the pressures and ridicule your family and women may throw at you. You are not a sacrificial lemming whose only option is to queue up on the cliff-top and jump, hoping for the best. In the current climate, women have no right whatsoever to lecture us on the need for us to marry. They are not the ones committing suicide en masse due to their kids being taken away and poisoned against them. They are not the ones divorced for no reason then kicked out of their house and forced to spend the rest of their lives labouring simply to meet the costs of a family that now hates them.

No, the truth is that not only has marriage in the West become a losing proposition for a man, its an institution looking extremely vulnerable from a barrage of attacks from multiple directions. And you owe it to yourself to take a long hard objective look at Western marriage, its pitfalls and perils.

Already over the last three decades marriage has crumbled, and I see every sign that this trend will continue. Feminism is undoubtedly the single greatest cause of the breakdown of marriage, and this shouldn’t be any surprise, it was one of feminism’s stated goals from the very beginning to destroy marriage and the nuclear family, which were regarded as “Patriarchal” oppression of women.

And while the odds of having a successful marriage shorten every year, the single lifestyle becomes ever more attractive for both men and women. So, even if one or a few of these forces were to be stopped and reversed, I don’t believe the momentum against the destruction of marriage itself can be stopped.

There are seven main forces acting against marriage:

1. Breakdown of the heterosexual model

What exactly is a Western wife offering to her Husband that she hasn’t already given to other men? She may have already shared her body with tens of other men, and she is likely to submit more to the masculine authority of her boss than she will ever do to you. The age-old model of masculine/feminine differences and expectations in marriage has been totally eroded.

What we have instead of the heterosexual model is an unstable and largely self-contradictory model based on androgyny and materialism. Couples get married because it’s a great way to improve their lifestyle through pooling their assets. They are both devoted to seeking power through their own careers more than they are devoted to each other. It’s a temporary arrangement, only held in place until some better ‘deal’ is on the table.

Given this, it should come as no surprise that Western governments have been under increased pressure to legalise and legitimise homosexual marriages.

2. Diminishing social pressure

It’s an obvious point, but the stigma attached to ‘living in sin’ has collapsed in the now more secular West. What begins as a ‘try before you buy’ arrangement to live together first and see how things go, becomes entrenched as the standard, and then many people (well, men) wonder what the point of getting married would be. The momentum of this view is now so strong that I can’t envisage any circumstances under which the church would be able to regain its power and insist on marriage as the only way a man and woman can live together as a couple. It’s just not going to happen.

Also, not only is it increasingly socially acceptable not to marry, but also the sexual revolution is continuing at full pace, amounting to legitimising the ‘swinger’ lifestyle. In fact, to call someone a ‘swinger’ is now anachronistic because their attitudes and behaviour are absorbed into the mainstream. Pornography, gay-experimentation, three-somes, sodomy, masturbation, and many different forms of sexual experience are increasingly talked about openly and less likely to be condemned. I’m not saying it’s a good thing, I’m just saying its occurring. And it weakens the exclusivity of marriage.

3. Growing temptations and opportunities for cheating

Listen guys, how sure are you that you would never feel the urge to cheat? Are you sure that you could stay faithful to that one woman for the rest of your life, despite the relatively easy availability of single woman who’ll casually sleep with you?

You’d never do such a thing?

The very suggestion is monstrous?!

Well, good. But here’s a harder question for you to answer: Are you 100% sure that your wife will never cheat on you given the ever increasing opportunities for her to do this? If she works – which she probably will – then her chances of being tempted to stray are vastly increased. And if you have Internet access there is the chance some smooth-talking guy will start taking to her online, and before you can say “cybersex” there will be some electronic intimacy going on.

You can bet that she has already unconsciously memorised all the rationalisations for cheating on you (“There was not enough emotional communication”, “We grew apart”) Oprah and Rikki taught them to her.

4. Distrust and the divorce industry

With the Western divorce courts outrageously biased against men, the prospect of a divorce is particularly frightening to a hard-working devoted man and particularly tempting to a bored, restless woman.

There are huge financial interests from the legal industry to fan the flames of marital disharmony: divorce is a lucrative opportunity.

As an example of the sort of advice that divorce lawyers are capable of giving, consider the following quote from "Divorce War-50 Strategies Every Women Needs To Know To Win":

“Criticize Him Daily…by carving into his ego like a Thanksgiving turkey, you can effectively break down his self-esteem… A man's self-image is greatly affected by his perception of his virility. If you degrade his sexual ability, you will essentially emasculate him- his entire sense of self-worth will be dismantled."

Be aware that if your wife gets bored and hits you with a no-fault divorce, she will profit, the lawyers will profit, but you could be emotionally and financially destroyed.

5. The death of romance

The feminine, pure yearning for romance is dead. The object of the game for Western women today is to ‘enjoy their independence’. This is incompatible with what provokes a man to treat women romantically and commit to them. A man looks at a good-time girl and sees a good-time, he doesn’t see a feminine woman that he longs to cradle in his arms, protect and cater for. And the dirty little secret that the feminists don’t want you to know is that the good-time girl generation of Western women are riddled with sexually transmitted diseases, some of which lead to infertility. There is an epidemic. Particularly amongst teenagers, with their cellphones and Email it is easy for them to ‘hook up’, and why shouldn’t they? Ever since they were kids the TV, movies and magazines have been telling them there’s nothing wrong with it. When I now hear of a girl loosing her virginity at 12 or 14 I don’t even think it unusual anymore. But what blows my mind is imagining a girl loosing her virginity at 12, and not getting married till she’s 30 or 35, and seeing it as her right to hook-up with men: how many men with these girls have slept with before they marry? To not expect any psychological or gynaecological consequences to this is insane.

6. The pool of psychologically healthy people is drying up

Stable people make for stable marriages. This is something not often discussed because it offends a lot of sensibilities and is politically incorrect to say, but please bare with me: I’m not mentioning this to demean anyone, I’m simply stating it objectively as a force that is working against marriage. As divorce and raising children outside marriage has skyrocketed over the past three decades the harm this has done to new generations is huge. Many now are very cynical about marriage, many are psychologically harmed; they have issues with trust, they have low self-esteem, depression, or simply no understanding of how family life can work. Many who have been brought up by a single mother have contempt for the very existence of fathers. Such a population of people does not bode well for fighting against the odds to make marriage work again.

7. Increased attractiveness of the singleton lifestyle

Again, this has been discussed endlessly in the media: there are more perks for the single person than ever in history. Aside from the explosion of consumer choice in dining and entertainment there are now more product options for the sexually hungry. The unsavoury but honest truth is that there has been an explosion of single men (and even women) accessing the vast online reservoirs of pornography and women are now funding a fast-growing industry of vibrators (available for the ‘sex and the city’ generation of girls in all varieties of shapes, designs and speeds); instant sexual satiation for a generation for whom commitment has become too unattractive.

If you want to have children and value the security and love that marriage has the potential to offer then you will vastly lower the risks of marriage by seeking a non-Western woman. Yes, there are indeed Western women who would make excellent wives, but the ones who would enrich your life and truly never opportunistically cheat on you or divorce you are few and far between. And the main problem is that it’s impossible to identify them. I’ve known several women who I thought were really decent people and credits to their husband’s who then decided to bale out of their marriage and took their husband for a ride in the process. You would never have guessed they’d have done this. Their husbands certainly didn’t. Almost everyone now has family members (two cousins in my case) who they now never see because the ex-wife has made it impossible.

As I said before, looking for a wife is a game of numbers and opportunities; it’s just like fishing. Now, the river of the feminist-indoctrinated countries has a high percentage of fish that are poisonous to you, but the river of the traditional countries is largely stocked with healthy and delicious fish. Which river will you choose to fish in?

I’m not a hater of Western women and I am not saying this because I believe Western women are evil to the core. The reason that ‘no’ must be considered an option for men thinking of marriage is that the lifestyles, culture and expectations of Western women are now such that its an uphill struggle to successfully marry one. Even if we totally destroyed feminism tomorrow, its effects would continue for years. It would take probably one or two more generations to purge the feminist poison from our societies. Don’t think you can change one of these women; to think that is nothing short of arrogance.

I predict that as the cost and availability of travel and communication become more accessible around the globe, more Western men will come into contact with traditional, non-Western women and immediately notice an opportunity for a happy marriage. For American men this is most likely to be a Mexican or other Southern American woman, for British men this may be the Southern or Eastern European woman, and those lucky Australian men have a vast population of Asian lovelies right on their doorstep.

When it comes to considering marriage, be a man. Don’t let other people, particularly women, manipulate your emotions on this subject. Think it through rationally and assess whether you are willing to take the risk, whether you are willing to pay the price. You don’t have much choice whether to let pushy, man-bashing Western women into your workplace, gym, library, or sports club, but you can keep them out of your marital beds.

Join the debate: DarrenBlacksmith@yahoo.co.uk

Report this post as:

Local News

Change Links September 2018 posted S02 10:22PM

More Scandals Rock Southern California Nuke Plant San Onofre A30 11:09PM

Site Outage Friday A30 3:49PM

Change Links August 2018 A14 1:56AM

Setback for Developer of SC Farm Land A12 11:09PM

More problems at Shutdown San Onofre Nuke J29 10:40PM

Change Links 2018 July posted J09 8:27PM

More Pix: "Families Belong Together," Pasadena J02 7:16PM

"Families Belong Together" March, Pasadena J02 7:08PM

Short Report on the Families Belong Together Protest in Los Angeles J30 11:26PM

Summer 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert! J11 6:58AM

Watch the Debate: Excluded Candidates for Governor of California M31 5:20AM

Change Links June 2018 posted M28 7:41AM

The Montrose Peace Vigil at 12 Years M22 8:01PM

Unity Archive Project M21 9:42AM

Dianne Feinstein's Promotion of War, Secret Animal Abuse, Military Profiteering, Censorshi M17 10:22PM

CA Senate Bill 1303 would require an independent coroner rather than being part of police M10 9:08PM

Three years after OC snitch scandal, no charges filed against sheriffs deputies M10 8:57PM

California police agencies violate Brown Act (open meetings) M02 8:31PM

Insane Company Wants To Send Nuke Plant Waste To New Mexico A29 11:47PM

Change Links May 2018 A27 8:40AM

Worker-Owned Car Wash on Vermont Closed A27 5:37AM

GUIDE TO REBEL CITY LOS ANGELES AVAILABLE A13 12:39AM

lausd whistle blower A11 6:58AM

Website Upgrade A10 10:02AM

Help KCET and UCLA identify 60s-70s Chicano images A04 8:02PM

UCLA Luskin: Casting Youth Justice in a Different Light A02 6:58PM

Change Links April 2018 A01 6:27PM

More Local News...

Other/Breaking News

OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center Celebrates 25 Years with the House of Hope Gala S24 7:10PM

Against the Rent Madness and For a Nonprofit Orientation! S24 11:56AM

Cybermonde, cyberguerre, cyberespace, cyberterrorisme S24 6:35AM

Paraphysique de psychosomatique S22 6:58AM

Chuck Grassley: Women Abusing, Animal Murdering, Illegal War Supporting Criminal S22 2:58AM

Finance Capitalism and the Digital Economy S21 4:45PM

Muselières syndicales, muselières patronales S21 7:19AM

Jeff Bezos, Amazon, The Washington Post, Whole Foods, Etc S21 2:50AM

Why Choose Nut Milk Over Cows' Milk S21 1:01AM

Antrhopocène, le grand effondrement S19 9:53AM

Abolir l'économie S18 11:18AM

The Dictatorship of Corporations S17 5:26PM

18 Lethal Consequences Of Hunting S17 3:13PM

Paraphysique de l'outplacement déontologue S15 6:51AM

Shopping du bashing S14 8:42AM

After Lehman Brothers, Experts Say Global Financial Crisis Can Happen Again S13 8:28PM

“Animaniacs in Concert!” Starring Voice Legend Rob Paulsen S12 9:30PM

Probabilités de fin d'humanité S12 6:49AM

Florida Area of Migrant Farmworkers Denied Right to Construct Health Clinic near NaplesCIW S11 2:57AM

Steer clear of work morality! S09 12:10PM

The Shortwave Report 09/07/18 Listen Globally! S06 11:23PM

August 2018 Honduras Coup update S06 12:28PM

Brett Kavanaugh Filled The 5th Circuit With Execution Judges S06 6:14AM

Augusta Georgia Woman Gets 5 Year Prison Sentence for Writing About Russians Crime Acts S05 8:29AM

Paraphysique de contextualité S05 8:29AM

Crisis Regulation in Global Capitalism S03 3:39PM

Ex-voto de réification S03 10:24AM

Please Oppose Warmonger, Execution and Torture Supporting Bush Operative Brett Kavanaugh A31 10:45PM

More Breaking News...
© 2000-2018 Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Unless otherwise stated by the author, all content is free for non-commercial reuse, reprint, and rebroadcast, on the net and elsewhere. Opinions are those of the contributors and are not necessarily endorsed by the Los Angeles Independent Media Center. Running sf-active v0.9.4 Disclaimer | Privacy