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Wednesday, Jan. 15, 2003 at 11:19 AM
Several thousand alpacas stampeded through downtown Los Angeles today, stunning onlookers. Not all were impressed, however. Typical LA.
Several thousand alpacas stampeded through downtown Los Angeles today, stunning onlookers. Converging from all over the hemisphere, they sought to liberate their species from the confines of North American alpaca farms, and to increase "alpaca awareness."
"Very few humans understand the plight of alpacas today," said spokescritter Alvin Packer. "Many don't even know how we differ from llamas. That is why we're here today."
As if for emphasis, an unnamed alpaca beside him declard, "We're here, we're alpacas, get used to spit!"
Not all onlookers were impressed. "Sure, there are a lot of them," said labor organizer Linda Guinness, "but I have no enthusasm for their cause. I mean, they only have one vowel in their name."
"Why can't they be efficient with that letter, like a yak, or creative and multi-voweled, like a dolphin or orangutan? I mean, christ, even llamas have that double L," stated television producer Joseph Snow.
Nevertheless, alpaca organizers have declared a victory. "This is the largest nonviolent aplaca demonstration since Vietnam. Obviously, a great movement is just beginning," concluded Packer. "And a nice lady petted me!"
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