- js reader version
- view hidden posts
- tags and related articles
by Kathy Hadizadeh
Thursday, Sep. 05, 2002 at 2:26 PM
It is about the feelings I experienced in my recent visit to Ground Zero site at NY.
I traveled to NY two weeks ago. And as you can guess, one of the places in my short list for visit was the famous ground zero site. I knew that I will be really sad after the visit so I put it down as the last item, right before catching my flight at JFK. On the way in metro, I was trying to imagine what I am going to face. The only fact I knew was that three metro stations have gone gray in the metro map. Meaning that like an inactive item on your computer, you cannot access it any more however hard you click the mouse button. There is no more push of the people inside the metros at this station, no more life …no more tender disturbance of human noise ... Before I could let my mind fly much, I had to get out.
I came up the stairs slowly. The brightness of daylight struck me the same time that all those hand writings on that piece of canvass hanging on fences did. Writings by all those people who had visited, who had helped or who were searching for their beloved ones at that time. My vision became blared; I could feel the heat in my cheeks and the sourness of my tears running to my mouth. There were dried flowers, rugby gloves, big photos with notes encrypted in hope under them, any piece symbolizing the beloved one. The one, who left one gray morning without saying the last words and never returned. Here and there I could see notes from different people for this occasion: An Italian poem, A painting from a German painter, etc. The poet had tried his best to find a traveler coming to NY to carry the message of his heart pain at the agony of this disaster. One piece touched me badly; a picture that I had drawn many times in my mind and could be true for any body:
“How many of them, when they left the house that day, had a quarrel with their wife, girlfriend, sweetheart, boy friend, parents children or even the best friend?”
I am touched. Isn’t that so true? We leave in the morning at times with a heart not as light as a feather. With a mind that obscures the good characters of the other one for any reason and makes us not be the gentle, loving creatures as we always are. It is true for both parties. It stabs me at the heart, with a world as uncertain as this, with the proof so vivid in front of me, is it ever worth it even a second?
I pass by and deep in my thoughts, I hear:
“Buy from the Veteran. The complete storey of the tragedy for only $ 5. Only here! Originally $ 15! . If you buy from the Vet, you have gone the right way!”
I look and see over a table filled with albums of the photos of Sep.11 tragedy and small statues of the twin towers, a black amputee is moving the remainder of his leg in a dirty, “disgusting “way and repeats these words with a big laugh. What am I filled with? Is this hatred? Is this disgust? Am I just shocked?
It is too perplex to analyze. He is not alone; there is one on the other side, one at the other corner. It is beyond my tolerance. I go to the other side of the street. Among the crowd passing by the actual site and piercing through the small holes in curtains to see all the vast land remained, as flat as the palm of my hand. I see a sign: Ground Zero, Best View. For a moment, I am reminded of the scenic spots on the roads where people park to see the view and take pictures. But I say to myself: “Do not be ridiculous! No, it means where you can see the depth of the damage”. I go on with the crowd, under the golden sun, with all the tourists. I see the police and that big Cross, a big simple cross standing alone above all this vast land of nothing but soil. The land surrounded by all these tall buildings looking over it. The land that once had the tallest of all monuments to overlook not only those surrounding buildings but also all Manhattan is now looked down on. This big steel cross is kind of the last sign of humans ever touching this land. I go to the best view, where people pose in front of the cameras with big smiles to get their picture taken with the good earth of twin towers, like the site of Metropolitan Museum or a famous statue or a I do not know any other sight seeing that is worth capturing the moments. The picture that they can show to their friends on their return and say: “Hey, I saw ground zero, see it is me here!”
I do not know why I have the pictures of all those signatures, dried flowers and pictures left with hope in front of me. A picture so vivid of people who lost their lives here that I couldn’t figure out how any one can even think of a smile here let alone posing in front of camera.
Got back to the metro site. Bewildered by all this commercialism. At the site of the event that affected direction, philosophy, meaning and the actuality of lives of so many people all around the world not just Americans. Threw myself in the taxi to escape with my sad eyes, grown bigger at the fear of speed of life. How life and this world are so disloyal even to my memorial. The cool weather inside refreshes me. In a moment, it strikes me:
“Empty spaces - what are we living for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for...
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore
The show must go on,
The show must go on…
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.
Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free
The show must go on
The show must go on…..*
What could this life be other than “the show”?
16th Aug., 2002
*” Show must go on” is a song written by Queen, sung by Freddie Mercurie and released in 14th Oct. 1991.
Report this post as:
GUIDE TO REBEL CITY LOS ANGELES AVAILABLE
lausd whistle blower
Help KCET and UCLA identify 60s-70s Chicano images
UCLA Luskin: Casting Youth Justice in a Different Light
Change Links April 2018
Nuclear Shutdown News March 2018
Join The Protest Rally in Glendale on April 10, 2018!
Join The Protest Rally in Glendale on April 10, 2018!
Spring 2018 National Immigrant Solidarity Network News Alert!
Anti-Eviction Mapping Project Shows Shocking Eviction Trends in L.A.
Steve Mnuchin video at UCLA released
Actress and Philanthropist Tanna Frederick Hosts Project Save Our Surf Beach Clean Ups
After Being Told He's 'Full of Sh*t' at School Event, Mnuchin Demands UCLA Suppress Video
Resolution of the Rent Strike in Boyle Heights
What Big Brother Knows About You and What You Can Do About It
Step Up As LAPD Chief Charlie Beck Steps Down
Our House Grief Support Center Hosts 9th Annual Run For Hope, April 29
Don’t let this LA County Probation Department overhaul proposal sit on the shelf
Echo Park Residents Sue LA Over Controversial Development
Former Signal Hill police officer pleads guilty in road-rage incident in Irvine
Calif. Police Accused of 'Collusion' With Neo-Nazis After Release of Court Documents
Center for the Study of Political Graphics exhibit on Police Abuse posters
City Agrees to Settle Lawsuit Claiming Pasadena Police Officer Had His Sister Falsely Arre
Professor's Study Highlights Health Risks of Urban Oil Drilling
Claims paid involving Pasadena Police Department 2014 to present
Pasadenans - get your license plate reader records from police
LA Times Homicide Report
More Local News...
Paraphysique de la dictature étatique
Book Review: "The New Bonapartists"
The West Must Take the First Steps to Russia
Théorie générale de la révolution ou hommage à feu Mikhaïl Bakounine
The Shortwave Report 04/13/18 Listen Globally!
“Lost in a Dream” Singing Competition Winner to Be Chosen on April 15 for ,000 Prize!
The World Dependent on Central Banks
Ohio Governor Race: Dennis Kucinich & Richard Cordray Run Against Mike DeWine
March 2018 Honduras Coup Again Update
Apologie du zadisme insurrectionnel
ICE contract with license plate reader company
Black Portraiture(S) IV: The Color of Silence...Cuba No...Cambridge Yes
Prohibiting Micro-Second Betting on the Exchanges
Prosecutors treat Muslims harsher than non-Muslims for the same crimes
Amy Goodman interview on cell phone safety
Mesa, Arizona police officer kills unarmed white man
Israeli leaders should be prosecuted for war crimes
Paraphysique de l'autorité
Two Podcasts on fbi corruption
Fbi assassins assault & try to kill DAVID ATKINS
EPA Head Scott Pruitt: Of Cages And Sirens
The Shortwave Report 04/06/18 Listen Globally!
Nicaraguas Conflic with native Peoples on the Caribbean Coast Near Bluefields in Decade80
Millions Boycott The Sponsors Of Laura Ingraham
THE CONSERVATIVE THREAT
The US, the Dollar, IS and Saudi Arabia
More Breaking News...