Mother Nature demands that the Citizens Executive Administration (CEA) re-appoint a highly qualified Secretary of Defense.
The CEA's previous Secretary of Defense has taken the position as Vice President: He's a very mean fella living up North in a cave and prefers to remain anonymous.
(Long ago, Woodrow Harrelson's lawyer informed us that Woody couldn't accept the VP appointment. Most of his assets hadn't yet been moved to safe havens, and Woody's already entwined in silly legal problems.)
The CEA will consider any seasoned soldier who knows who's responsible for this morning's Northeast earthquake.
Obviously the clutzy 9-11 terrorists, Paul Wolfowitz & Associates, know little about natural law. Do you?
5.1 Magnitude Earthquake Rattles Northeast, Felt From
Maine to Maryland
By Verena Dobnik
The Associated Press
N E W Y O R K, April 20 — An earthquake felt from Maine to Maryland rattled the Northeast on this morning with a magnitude of 5.1, according to the U.S. Geological Survey.
The earthquake hit just before 7 a.m. about 15 miles southwest of Plattsburgh, in northern New York near the Vermont and Canadian borders.
There were no immediate reports of injuries, but the Vermont State Police received calls about cracked foundations and broken windows, and sections of at least two roads collapsed near the epicenter in upstate New York.
Sandy Caligiore, of Lake Placid, about 35 miles southwest of Plattsburgh, said he felt the shaking for about 30 seconds. It was so strong, decorations were falling off the walls, he said.
"I was getting out of the shower and the mirror was shaking. The whole house was shaking," said Darlene Conklin, who lives in Hopewell Junction, about 60 miles north of New York City. "My husband was watching
TV, and he felt the couch shaking. You could see the doors shaking, the walls trembling."
The earthquake was recorded at 6:50 a.m., said William Ott, a seismologist at Weston Observatory at Boston College.
He said the quake was "moderate." A typical 5.1 earthquake would cause cracked plaster, broken windows and minor structural damage around the epicenter, he said.
"There are faults all over the northeastern United States," Ott said. "They're not as active as the ones in California, but they're capable of producing earthquakes of this size from time to time."
The largest earthquake recorded in New York, according to the USGS, was a 5.8 magnitude quake in 1944 that was centered in Massena, about 3 miles from the Canadian border.
Won Young Kim, a seismologist with Columbia
University's Lamont Doherty Earth Observatory, said there was a magnitude 5.2 quake in 1993, about 50 miles south of Saturday's epicenter. He said a magnitude 3.5 quake occurred just south of Plattsburgh
on April 20, 2000.
Reports of the shaking today came from as far away as Baltimore, Toronto and Portland, Maine. The USGS National Earthquake Information Center measured the earthquake's depth at 3.1 miles.
Kathleen Morrow, 31, of Northfield, in central Vermont, said the jolt woke her husband up and the shaking continued for several seconds.
"I had my feet on the floor ready to leave the house if it was going to be continuing or stronger," she said.