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J20: Bring Bananas?

by Boston-Cambridge Greens Thursday, Jan. 04, 2001 at 3:28 PM

Those arguing con criticized the banana's squishy texture, mediocre taste (unless fried in butter), the possibility that stormtroopers will make preemptive arrests of the "terrorists leaders" who carry bananas, and a concern that an excessive reverence for the banana could lean The Revolution backward toward a patriarchal society.

Sebastian Mendler smendler@well.com> wrote:




> / / skip


After a heated six-hour discussion among the Boston-Cambridge Greens, we

finally came to a sanctified consensus decision that it's up to each

individual whether bringing bananas to the J20 "inauguration" is appropriate

or not.

Those arguing pro defended the banana's exceptional nutritional value, its

naturally compact and lightweight design, and its wonderful utility as a

slippery defensive device against pursuing stormtroopers.

Those arguing con criticized the banana's squishy texture, mediocre taste

(unless fried in butter), the possibility that stormtroopers will make

preemptive arrests of the "terrorists leaders" who carry bananas, and a

concern that an excessive reverence for the banana could lean The Revolution

backward toward a patriarchal society.

The banana issue was very controversial. Especially when someone remembered

that the whole trade war between the US and Europe was instigated by the

dispute over tariff distinctions between democratic-cooperative-produced

bananas versus monopoly-corporate-produced bananas.

The discussion got a bit sidetracked when our banking specialists began

lecturing us on the merits of positive-value bananas vs negative-value Federal

Reserve notes. Both monetary analysts advocated bananas as a genuine,

biologically based currency that would be far more stable and far less

exploitative than Federal Reserve notes or other artificial fiat currencies.

By the sixth hour of debate, the banana issue almost broke up the

Boston-Cambridge Greens into ineffective splinter groups. Several impatient

members threatened to join either the Republicratic or Communist Party.

But then Iron John, sitting quietly in his corner, noticed two individuals had

dominated the whole debate, one of whom was chronically drunk and the other

whom was chronically stoned. Was this the old

stall-the-movement-over-issues-of-"process" routine? Or are these guys just

burned-out products of MKULTRA?

Iron John proclaimed, "feminism and consensus has its place in the cosmos, but

so does masculinism and individuality!"

At this point, the Boston-Cambridge Greens decided to fall back on natural law

and common sense, both of which dictate the individual's freedom to choose or

reject bananas.

Personally, I decided to bring a bright yellow Nokia banana-shaped cellphone,

in hope of getting preemptively arrested so I can be a "hero", meet

un-brainwashed and well-informed prisoners, and have some quiet time to write

a book or two about the underlying, politically incorrect, practical issues of

our epoch.

Jon Chance

B-C Greens

"Banality is a symptom of non-communication. Men hide behind their clichés."

- Eugène Ionesco

"The only true aging is the erosion of one's ideals. They're people of increasingly low expectations. That's the definition of a frightened liberal."

- Ralph Nader

http://www.greens.org - Globalize Democracy.

http://www.votenader.org - Run with Ralph.

http://www.bfi.org - Utopia or Oblivion?

http://www.tompaine.com - Common Sense.

http://www.futurenet.org - Yes! Positive Futures.

http://www.indymedia.org - Independent Media Center.

http://www.transaction.net - What is Money?

http://www.grb.net - Global Currency for the 21st Century.

http://www.cinetopia.net - The Power of Light.

http://www.freespeech.org - Share Your Mind.

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