WASHINGTON DC -- In a surprise move today, Democratic presidential candidate Al Gore abandoned all hope of attracting the progressive vote and announced centrist vice-presidential running mate Joseph Lieberman.
"By making this announcement today," said Gore, "I am officially conceding the progressive vote to Ralph [Nader]."
In a rare moment of candor he added, "No progressive with any sense would even consider voting for the Democratic ticket now."
Concerned that he might otherwise siphon the progressive vote away from Green party candidate Ralph Nader, Gore decided to alleviate all uncertainty about the merging of the two formerly distinct mainstream political parties into a single corporate-financed oligarchy (now known as the Republicrat party).
"Nader is the only hope for true progressives", Gore said.
Theresa Amato, spokeswoman for the Nader Presidential Campaign was surprised by the announcement. "We knew that Gore campaign had turned its back on the progressive constituency, but we never expected them to make such a clean break."
With Gore removed from any serious consideration by progressives, the path is finally clear for Nader to win the presidency.
"We've got to get his poll numbers above the 15% threshold set by the Republicrats so he can participate in the debates this fall. He'll show the disenchanted democrats and the 55% of eligible voters who stayed at home in the last election that there is finally someone willing to take a stand against corporate rule", said Amato. "Once people hear what Nader has to say, there's no question that he'll win."