The UN would probably support removing their toungues, however I suggest BRAIN LIPOSUCTION.

If I were in a decent communist country, the CIA would buy some land mines for me to stand in the middle of when the GOP gets on TV and declares war. They have gone from doing that every 6 months, to every day. This is a good sign. That means they want to come home. They don't ever get to come home unless TEXAS SUCCEEDS FROM THE UNION. TEXAS tends to succeed from the union a lot.

If the RED ARMY was coming through I could take a position on one side of the minefeild or another. When they come through there will be no safe place to stand.

After we pushed GERALD FORD out of an airplane several times he still escaped.

He kidnapped CARTER and concocted a fake president named REAGAN who promised every one a gloriuos war.

We chased, voted, impeached, shot at, and tried to convince the public that REAGAN, was a fake president. The war still rages on.

Luckily, Saddam repeled the first BUSH in a decade long secret operation by using his own intelligence.

We attacked him on his way home and pinned him down with an election loss.

Within 100 days, TEXAS succeded from the union on TV and kidnapped Clinton.

It really only takes 24 hours to take over the UNITED STATES with the CIA.

That's why we don't let them operate here. If TEXAS agreed to rejoin the union, the CIA would legaly have to leave, and they will end up some where else. WANT EM. Got a box to put them in? Creative prisonor exchange program?

The most effective and swift way to take control of a nation, is to forget to tell them.

No one knows more about what they do than RUSH LIMBAUGH.

Many other stories can be explained despite hole in PENTAGON.

How can any body not know OSAMA.

Iran tried to warn REAGAN not to attack them. They were holding a gun to TRICKY DICK'S head. No one saw that part on TV.

by Albert Kada
Independent Terrorist Journalist
World's only publisher of computer viruses besides Microsoft.
designer of the Patriot softwareless electronic voting machine.
designer and developer of the IONOSPHERE HOG.
Stolen from the the DATELINE FLIP FLOP TICK TOCK edition of the frequently unpublished newspaper "The American Blasphemer" please copy