EL NACO
In the bullfighting arena
of Saint Mark
Aguascalientes Ags. Mexico
in an alternate world
of February 8, 1943.
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And on the very cold and very cloudy morning of this date EL QUIRRI (el pheri Sánchez rock and band), a skilled bullfighter who to date had only bullfighted Caporale and Ferronale, but bad luck caused them to be pardoned by The Judge from La Plaza, well EL QUIRRI was having a hot water (coffee) at La Tía Lola restaurant, while the pretty waitress Lorena Montalvo was throwing her panties at El Romeo alias EL QUIRRI.
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LM.- Oh Master, you are a genius and almost, almost a saint, but you bring here, your house because I don't think that this brute body has awakened the uncontrollable desire in your eyes or yes, but what will you accompany your hot water, we have some very hot bread, some very cozy teleras or I take off your underwear and give you a kiss???
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EDM.- just don't drop my pants!!!
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LM.- I'm talking about bread!!!
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EDM.- Sorry???
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LM.- And if you don't like chicken wings, you can ask me for the legs open and sweating because of the heat in the center ¿???
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EDM.- I prefer the wings ¡!!!
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LM.- who doesn't like chickens ¿???
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EDM.- And the chickens too, but only so that they can lay my eggs ¡!!!
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LM.- And my tits are your ears and I cut them so that they are even ¿???
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EDM.- because I feel that she is disappointed or that it bothers her about me???
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LM.- because you are so slippery with La Lechera, La Peluquera and La Tamalera and I'm pimping you so much, and doesn't even give me a shot ¿???
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EDM.- I'll pick you up at night to take you to dinner ¡!!!
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LM.- THAT, but not here because the food doesn't even taste like anything anymore and I want to enjoy you ¡!!!
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EDM.- At 8:00 PM is okay???
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LM.- 8:00 PM is okay???
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And at the moment the waitress went to bring his sacred food to EL QUIRRI, a couple of guys were coming in and almost rubbing their hands to reduce the freezing and from afar the waitress signaled them to sit at the table next to El Romeo.
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this pair of guys were Spanish, but we can't use their idioms because Google Translate doesn't know them and translates pure rubbish for us.
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REDIEZ and GOOD MORNING said the first guy called El Venancio Canseco Romero...
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EDM.- but it's so cold here, isn't it ¿???
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JOSU I would like to be in sunny California Mexico, added El Juancho Tenorio…
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EDM.- eggs are also fried on the road in agüitas, but right now there is a cold front from the north that seems to be from the south, right ¿???
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HA HA HA.
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The guys began to laugh at El Romeo's occurrences and from those same moments they liked EL QUIRRI very much to the point that they brought the tables closer to talk more comfortably while the waitress arrived with the cart full of food to put it on the tables. that she knew the tastes of all the clients and they knew beforehand what they were going to order.
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LM.- And if you need more, talk to me on the phone ¿???
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HA HA HA…
THANKS A LOT, PRECIOUS.
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EVC.- My name is Venancio Canseco and what do you do, young man ¿???
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EDM.- Apart from that and my name is El Pheri Sánchez ¡???
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EJT.- from Los Sánchez de Barcelona ¿???
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EDM.- really from Xochicuatlán Hidalgo ¡!!!
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WE ALL KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.
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EJT.- very salsa and my name is Juancho Tenorio ¡!!!
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EDM.- It's just a saying, but I came here to see my brothers and also discover how my parents' land was going ¡!!!
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EVC.- You have pure brothers ¿???
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EDM.- that's how it says ¡!!!
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EJT.- And how many sisters do you have ¿???
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EDM.- To say there are eight, three brothers and I dedicate myself to La Parisontenia ¡!!!
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JOSU and what you eat with…
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EDM.- It is very long to explain and by doing so I would get into more problems that cannot be explained and if nothing can be explained it is better to leave it in nothing where it belongs and you ¿???
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EVC.- we come from Spain to organize the bullfights in La Plaza de San Marcos for The April Festival ¡!!!
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EJT.- but you don't know anything about bulls, right El Pheri Sánchez ¿???
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EDM.- I have only had two bullfights ¡!!!
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EVC.- What ¿???
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EDM.- And the bulls unjustly pardoned its life ¡!!!
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EJT.- What ¿???
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EDM.- And they nickname me EL QUIRRI ¡!!!
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EVC.- WHAT ¿???
EJT.- WHAT ¿???
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EVC.- And as a bullfighter, how do you consider yourself ¿???
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EDM.- neither good nor bad but quite the opposite ¡!!!
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WHAT, that doesn't mean anything and it doesn't even amount to pleonasm...
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EJT.- And compared to Manuel Benites El Cordobés and Juan José Padilla El Pirata ¿???
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EDM.- Wow, you are already talking about bullfighters from another planet ¡!!!
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THEY ARE BOY, THEY ARE.
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EVC.- Well, they are going to close the fair in the last bullfight…
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EJT.- but we need a third matador ¡!!!
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EDM.- I don't fall me the 20 coin very well in the piggy bank, since there aren't enough candidates among the other bullfighting celebrations???
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in the moments when the waitress arrived again to serve them more hot coffee, milk and chocolate...
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LM.- And if you need more, talk to me on my cell phone ¿???
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HA HA HA…
THANKS A LOT, PRECIOUS.
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EVC.- maybe, but our company LA NESPA works with pure Spanish bullfighters who are on vacation and those who are left over are injured ¡!!!
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EDM.- there is the detail because I was born in The United Mexican States of The South and LA TRANXXX VES-TRI ONE in The United Mexican States of The North ¡!!!
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EJT.- So where were your runs that you brag about ¿???
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EDM.- one in Barcelona and the other in Madrid ¡!!!
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EVC.- then you are more Spanish than us and not Mexican…
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EJT.- speaking colloquially…
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EDM.- possibly posible ¿???
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EVC.- so we are counting on you ¿???
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EDM.- If La Donkey has already died, why do I want the barley ¿???
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EJT.- I don't know what tells me that you were born big. El Pheri Sánchez ¡!!!
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And then the waitress approached, very smiling, and the Spaniards told her to invite two of her most beautiful friends to spend the night in the restaurant eating and sucking like Cuban Cossacks at LA NESPA.
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LM.- In a couple of hours they will be here ¡!!!
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And I spent the whole day inside the restaurant working normally, but at 12 at night La Tía Lola with the other three employees closed the changarro so that our friends could take off the thread by sucking, smoking and eating, not important that the rain and the cold increased because heat was maintained inside the building thanks to the stoves that were left on half gas.
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LONG LIVE LA FRANCE
FOR THEM EVEN IF THEY PAY BADLY
WHAT DID THAT WOMAN GIVE YOU
HARD DRUNK
BY SAINT BERTHA
JOY COME
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And when dawn came, everyone drunk went to her house except Lorena Montalvo who had to double her shift for a few more dollars.
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and The San Marcos fair, as always, showed off in its best clothes, resounding its fame throughout the world and as there is no commitment that does not arrive and a date that is not fulfilled, at 4 o'clock in the afternoon on May 5, the trumpets could be heard. in the Plaza de Toros de San Marcos so that the bullfighters with their crews would take the parade around the ring with stands full of aborigines where the pigeons in flight could not throw a pin without it falling on someone while Don Paco Bad narrated the bullfight taste endowed by sponsors' products.
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…
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PMG.- AND YOU HEAR, the one who opened the bullfight was Manuel Benites El Cordobés who, in a task to remember, cut off the ears of Numerado, a fairly light bull with a medium bravery.
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NOTE
No one explains why when the public demands from the judge in the square the two ears of the bull, the fan does not take out the two white handkerchiefs and raises them with both hands so that the brute understands that they are asking for the two ears of the animal and it turns out that the animal is the judge.
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PMG.- Juan José Padilla had not yet lost his eye, so he gave a spectacular job to the bull Malendro who did not charge as God intended, but in the end he cut off both of its ears.
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And when the third bull came out of the bullring gate, called Palacielo, because of the crazy race it was on, it could not stop and crashed into the tables of the bullring where it broke both horns and immediately the judge of the bullring sent the corral managers to send another replacement bull, but someone left the door open so that the bulls could escape, stopping the bullfight abruptly.
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PMG.- And after a couple of hours they caught three bulls and as there was no time for more tasks Manuel Benites El Cordobés dispatched Bichoco, cutting off both ears and the tail and immediately Juan José Padilla accounted for the Sinovoy bull as well. cut off both ears and tail.
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And since The San Marcos Bullring lacked public lighting, judge Ramiro Cuevas quickly and as if nothing had happened tried to end the show because the darkness was already beginning to appear in the distance and that was when the crazy fans jumped on him in the style of Heraclio Bernal and It was when the bailiff approached the ring around the outside to ask El Pheri Sánchez.
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EA.- We cannot stop the hordes to force you to…
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PMG.- OUR FATHER WHO ARE IN HEAVEN, YOU TAKE CARE OF THE COWS AND I TAKE CARE OF THE CALVES, YOU HEAR, but I was already more drunk from blowing up La Corona, La Victoria and La Modelo Espacial.
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And after a couple of minutes, El Naco came out through the bullpen door, running quickly and twisting like a worm swimming in salt, when EL QUIRRI, waving his cape high and high, tricks him into passing by without charging his weak victim according to the I believed and...
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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PMG.- And since the bull couldn't stand the humiliation, he quickly returned to attack EL QUIRRI even without letting him get up and gave him the same dose and hey, hiiiiiic...
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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PMG.- And in a third attempt, hiiiiiic listen...
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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PMG.- And that was when EL QUIRRI stood up quickly to receive him with a turned chicuelina and…
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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And that was when the lights of the stadium turned on, I mean the torches of the fans in the first row of seats and he is now greeted with an inverted chicuelina and...
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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PMG.- HEY YOU and now with a cut of the cape and hiiiiiic…
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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And since the bull could not stand the contempt, he did not leave EL QUIRRI to show off with the public and returned hastily so that, with his back turned, EL QUIRRI would stretch his cape to his left with the same hand and...
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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And now the bull returns to attack him head-on and EL QUIRRI overpowers him with a Gaonera that had been invented by Rodolfo Gaona in 1910 and that was when the bull continued forward, letting EL QUIRRI rest from tremendous attacks and…
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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PMG.- hiiiiiiiiiiiic in just a couple of minutes the public had never seen a tremendous spectacle and wanted more vitamins, but suddenly the picadors appeared on top of their horses to do their job, then the people whistled at the judge because they wanted to see a couple of more sets, but he never allowed it.
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Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, your mother fuck, I take it, to see cats that there are no mice and culero oooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
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PMG.- LISTEN, and when the alternates approached the bull to punish it, the evil picadors stuck the stick into its back more than necessary and the people began to stone the judge's box for allowing such abuse of the poor animal...
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Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, your mother fuck, I take it, to see cats that there are no mice and culero oooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
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And when they finally stopped punishing the animal, the abusive picadors left the way they came, but El Naco could no longer move from his place under the GREAT PUBLIC PROTESTS.
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DID YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID, ASSHOLE ¿???
addressing the judge of the square…
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In those moments of anguish, not even the most knowledgeable of La Fiesta Brava knew what EL QUIRRI was going to do…
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HEAR YOU and hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic…
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And while EL QUIRRI saw his opponent almost fall unconscious on the blood and sand of the ring in El Segundo Tercio, while he cried out to heaven for his brothers.
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EDM.- I wish La Santa Bertha, El Robert M. Sánchez and El Peterete were here so that I could curse these cynics and unfortunates until they are sour ¿???
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But there are times when GOD listens to us from wherever he is because suddenly La Santa Bertha shouted to El Pheri Sánchez from the stage of the ring.
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CARNAL ¡!!!
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And suddenly EL QUIRRI turned towards the tables and saw that La Santa Bertha was shouting at him and accompanied by El Cochambres and El Botargas and he approached them quickly.
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EDM.- What are you doing here ¿???
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LSB.- Well, you call us or Not ¿???
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EDM.- It's true, Robert, Peter ¡!!!
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And it was when La Santa Bertha blessed EL QUIRRI and told him…
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LSB.- Get closer to the bull and speak nicely in its ear ¡!!!
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And neither late nor Pérez the bear EL QUIRRI approached the Naco who could barely stand with crutches, while Paco Mal Gusto, drunker than ever, asked himself.
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PMG.- Cry, what is The Master doing ¿???
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HEY YOU ¿???
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EDM.- NAQUITO…
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EL QUIRRI told EL NACO.
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EDM.- I know that these unfortunate picadors hurt you a lot and I don't know by whose orders, but I promise you that if you return to dressing with the slightest effort, I swear that the public will spare your life...
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PMG.- What is it ¿???
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Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
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PMG.- what is EL QUIRRI talking to the bull to be his boyfriend or what, if the bull can no longer HEAR YOU ¿???
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IT CAN'T…
go to the movies,
attack or catch...
HEY YOU ???
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And the bull, with tears on his face and eyes glassy with tears, nodded his head...
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HEY YOU ???
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And then EL QUIRRI approached the tables of the ring so that his alternate could give him the cape and sword, while La Santa Bertha gave his dearest little brother a kiss on the mouth.
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LSB.- blessings for both of you ¡!!!
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PMG.- AND WHO IS THAT BITCH, but it doesn't matter because EL QUIRRI returns with his boyfriend to see if he can fart out of him because the animal is already dead since the horsemen stung him and HEY YOU and hiiiiiiiiic...
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And then EL QUIRRI gently puts the bull's cape over the bull's face with his right hand to indicate that he would not be hurt much if he dressed on that side and...
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PMG.- HEY YOU, the bull just started the engines and hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic...
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And the entire audience was amazed and chanted the action like they had never done before in another bullring...
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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PMG.- And here goes another right hand that EL NACO nobly answers and OIGA USTED and hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic...
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And when EL QUIRRI finished providing him with a gentle series of good right hands, EL NACO inexplicably began to gradually replenish his energy from when he started...
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PMG.- AND HEY YOU I don't know if La Corona, La Victoria and La Modelo Espacial are playing a damn joke on me because I'm seeing a bull with his full energy and HEY YOU and hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic...
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And when EL QUIRRI saw that EL NACO was already as good as new, he gave it such effective and attractive naturals that had never been seen by a living being and appreciated by La Fiesta Brava and…
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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HEY YOU ¿???
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when EL NACO reached his maximum level of strength, energy and bravery, EL QUIRRI purposely let el toro run away so that he could gain all of his confidence and then came…
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THE BLINDNESS.
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a kind of bullfighting that EL QUIRRI invented when he summoned the bull with his back turned and from afar without seeing it, grabbing the crutch with both hands from behind and only following the charge due to the noise of the legs and when he deemed it convenient with a quick and effortless movement to move not the feet from the spot, he twists his body to the right while swinging his cape to the left so as not to be caught by the bull and...
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OLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
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then all the people stood up and not only raised their handkerchiefs with both hands high up to demand that the judge pardon EL NACO, but also raised the white sheets from their bed and...
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HEY YOU ???
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And when The Judge of The Bullring gave the order for the cows to come out and take El Naco to cure and feed him, an International Carnival was set up so big and so beautiful that we don't know why they didn't eventually execute it as an identification at La Fiesta de Los Toros from San Marcos de Aguascalientes Ags.
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And then La Santa Bertha, El Peterete and El Robert M. Sánchez ran towards his brother to triumphantly raise him high, while Paco Mal Gusto, drunker than ever, closed the comments of the broadcast.
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PMG.- AND LISTEN, if EL NACO had not gone alive to the corrals, EL QUIRRI would surely cut off his ears, tail and even the bolts and OIGA USTED and hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic…
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by
La Santa Bertha
your lovely little ass.
