I remember a time when protesting was not a form of terrorism. To the minds of a people brainwashed by Fox News since the events of 9/11/2001, this claim may be shocking. Yes, there was a time when an American could stand in the street with a sign and protest the government's actions without being considered a terrorist. Perhaps we were naive back then? I held signs and marched against things like U.S. Intervention in El Salvador and the first Gulf War. Maybe I was a terrorist and didn't know it? A woman that infiltrated my Central America solidarity organization reported to the FBI after 9/11/2001 that I am a terrorist. It could be that my relationship with her just didn't work out and she thought the emerging police state was just the political climate where a swipe at me would take hold. But then again, what if she were correct? I mean, I've never done a single terrorist thing in my life and I am a pacifist and all, but I am a protester and I don't like the government. Could she be on to something?

I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror this morning and ask myself, “Self, are you a terrorist?” As I watched and stared at my image in the mirror, I waited for my reflection's eyes to shift away from my gaze revealing perhaps a hidden secret desire to destroy things with the goal of provoking political change, but no matter how intently I stared at my image, my image did not shift its eyes. I concluded that if I were, in fact, a terrorist, I must be a really good one because I could even stand up to myself when denying it.

Today, thousands of similar terrorists are protesting the Democratic Convention in Denver, Colorado, a moderately large police city-state inext to the Rocky Mountains. All those terrorists got there despite Fatherland Security's infinitely long list of terrorist bastards which include people like Ted Kennedy. Well, I am exaggerating, there are just shy of one million terrorists on the U.S. Terror Watch List, a list which does not include anyone from the Bush family, at least yet. Nevertheless, at least several thousand of those terrorists made it to Denver this week for the DNC protests. I would have joined them, but I haven't had a day off in ten weeks due to work, which makes protesting and being a terrorist really difficult.

The Denver Police have made a good show at protecting the DNC from these terrorists. For example, a member of a terrorist organization that hides in the shadows by wearing pink was beaten to the ground by a brave and manly Denver Police officer. The officer, seeing the petite woman dressed in pink, pulled out his very hard baton and knocked her to the ground, after calling her a “bitch.” No one but his wife knows whether beating women is his hobby, but his fellow cops on YouTube have been posting up a storm of support for his brave and valiant actions with comments like “he owned that cunt,” “she was served a concrete sandwich,” and so on. They seem really exited about it.

Apparently, this excitement encompasses much of the Denver Police Department. The ACLU reports that these peace terrorists, having been arrested en mass by Denver's finest Gestapo, have been denied access to lawyers, telephone calls, and even shoes. They've been marched into court with chains on their legs and shoeless feet. It kind of makes me wonder when the last rapist or murderer was dragged into a Denver court in leg chains without shoes and without an attorney. However, I must hold back my shock and remember, these people are terrorists! After all, they want peace and peace is exactly what the terrorists want, right?

This reminds me of the FTAA protests in Miami back in 2003. During those protests, the brave and manly Miami Police Department shot a woman twice with “less than lethal” bullets. Her crime was “protesting.” After they shot her the first time, they waited a while and then shot her again, in the forehead. Later, their cop boss praised them for this in a video and laughed about it. That was really manly.

All of these manly police officers are making me wonder what the new standard of manliness has become? If we listen to all the cheers for this brutality on right wing forums and we look at the comments of other policemen, it seems that the new standard of manliness, brought to us by “the family first” brand of conservatives, requires beating defenseless woman to the ground with weapons. If possible, the beating should be preceded by some sexist term like “bitch” and then followed by an assessment of the victim as a “cunt” and a “whore.” We've come a long way under these noble Christian conservatives.

So, I keep eying myself in the mirror and wondering, is this guy a terrorist? He's certainly not manly. He does undesirable things like take care of his wife and daughter, work hard, support peace and non-violence, and writes his dissent. That can't been good, can it?