Bald chemotherapy patient Marsha Jane Madison of Louisville, Ky. writhed in agony on the floor as she retched her guts out. Every time one watches a T.V. show or reads a newspaper article that goes on and on and on about Iran and Iran Intelligence reports and Iran is the biggest danger in the world because they are armed to the teeth with nuclear weapons and they are terrorists and they are coming to get you and nowhere is the word “oil” ever mentioned one gets this crippling urge to vomit all over the deceitful article. The Iraq War and the Iran War are about one thing and one thing only and that thing is oil. Oil oil oil oil we want to steal your oil please step aside as we grab your oil please sir may I have some oil?

President Bush invaded Iraq to get Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction before he attacked New York with nuclear bombs. Last week President Bush was getting ready to attack Iran to save us from nuclear world war III because Iran was getting ready to attack Israel and New York with nuclear bombs. Iraq and Iran have nuclear bombs and they are going to attack us is code for “we need to steal Iraq and Iran’s oil in order to survive.” Every American and every Muslim and every Chinese person on earth knows this and yet our media continues to go round and round the mulberry bush pretending that Iraq and Iran are all about weapons of mass destruction.

Imagine that you are an innocent God loving Muslim man, woman or child in Iran watching your Muslim brothers and sisters getting massacred in Iraq by United States soldiers who came there 4 ½ years ago to neutralize their weapons of mass destruction. Now imagine that next you hear that Iran is the greatest threat to peace on earth and the Iranian army is a terrorist organization. The U.S. Navy is sitting off your shores and their nuclear missiles, 25,000 in all are aimed at your head. The United States is minutes away from nuking you and your family into the dirt because according to them YOU are the greatest threat to peace on earth and you must be stopped in order to prevent nuclear world war III.

If you don’t get to the root of a weed then every season the weed will come back. The United States of America has a serious weed problem but they never mention the word weed; instead they blame their problems on Australian rugby players and ramp up their citizens to attack the headquarters of the Australian Rugby Union at 57 Christie Street, New South Wales, Australia. Marijuana is a proven reliever of nausea from chemotherapy but marijuana is illegal and marijuana users are tossed into American jails so that today 2 million Americans are languishing in American jails.

Alcohol on the other hand causes nausea and carnage strewn across America’s highways and oval office but it is legal. Poppies in Afghanistan finance jihad and American heroin addiction but after 5 years in Afghanistan the United States has not thought to weed out the beautiful red flowers. Religion used to be the opium of the masses but today fairy tales about Islamic nuclear weapons have taken its place in the children’s bedrooms of America leading to real live nightmares in the bedrooms of the children in Iraq and Iran.

As long as the American politicians and media continue to pretend that the Iraq War and the Iran War are about Iraqi and Iranian nuclear bombs we will never be able to open a discussion about the true cause of the conflict, oil. The United States is like a cocaine addict with a distorted Jonesing sense of reality standing outside of a drug store. To the cocaine addict breaking and entering the drug store in the middle of the night seems as normal as going for a coffee and a cigarette to the average person. Perhaps if oil and gasoline were declared illegal then the troops could come home for Christmas with all of their body parts.

Karl Benz invented the automobile in Mannheim, Germany in 1885. Cars’ engines use a four stroke cycle, intake, compression, combustion and exhaust aka suck, squeeze, bang and blow. This is a fancy way of saying that cars move by burning oil. The United States is burning 25 million barrels of oil every day. Next on the list is China at 2 million barrels of oil per day. Most countries burn a few thousand barrels of oil per day. In order to understand the American oil gluttony and its continuation which is the root of the weed of climate change disaster and the Iraq and Iran war one would think that the only way that this could happen would be if oil executives were in charge of the White House, the Congress and the media, literally doctoring scientific research reports to say that cigarettes, alcohol and burning oil is good for us all.

For 5 million years people got along fine without cars. Karl Benz invented the internal combustion engine car in 1885. It seemed like a good idea at the time but now we know that it is the root cause of global warming and the Iraq War and the Iran War leading to the Apocalypse when the United States attacks Iran and a rugby scrum erupts over the Middle East oil between the United States, Russia, China, Europe and the Muslim World. Right now may be a good time for us all to detour from burning oil to walking and riding horses again. Think of the health benefits of breathing clean, fresh air as opposed to the worldwide radioactive poison cloud of nuclear world war III.

Any news story now other than a discussion of our fatal addiction to oil is just a stupid excuse not to face up to our own alcohoilism. Once we beat back this addiction all of our other major problems will disappear, including our need to scapegoat, demonize and murder the innocent children of Iraq and Iran. Instead of focusing on the Iran intelligence lets use our own intelligence now to weed out the root of our own problem, alcohoilism, before it’s too late. Giving up oil now will surely be painful but the alternative, nuclear world war III followed by nuclear winter then ultraviolet summer will make chemotherapy seem like a chocolate sundae with a cherry on top with Brad Pitt on the beaches of the French Riviera.