—–BREAKING NEWS—–

“Art shock” turned to horror last night as a live elephant featured in a downtown LA gallery show got out of control. The show was promoted as a “vandalized warehouse,” featuring graffiti and other works by infamous UK “art terrorist” Banksy.

It took trainers and guards over an hour to sedate the elephant with many MDMA-filled darts. (MDMA potency is proportional to body-weight.)

12 visitors were reportedly hurt, and many of Banksy’s finest pieces of anti-capitalist satire ruined.

LAPD forces have secured the Hunter Street/Santa Fe area and are questioning witnesses; “there is no basis for allegations that this elephant went crazy as a protest against Banksy‘s bad taste in using security guards to protect his own art from vandalism. Elephants don’t do critical theory. Sorry.”

Banksy’s LA show had already spiralled out of control Friday afternoon, when animal rights activists discovered a real live elephant in the Hunter Street warehouse. The story hit the front page of the LA Times Saturday morning, and many tousle-haired hipsters found the show deluged by Soccer moms and kids, to their great dismay.

Samantha, denizen of a warehouse next-door, said she’d asked Tai, the 198-year old elephant, how he felt about being bodypainted: “He looked melancholy, but said the stencil and colors weren’t bad. He only went along with it because Banksy told him he was going to get to go to Burning Man. Personally, that’s why I think he got so pissed off. It wasn’t a critique of the art or Banksy’s pretensions at all. He just wanted to be the first Pachyderm to set foot on the Playa since Lake Lahonton evaporated. And nap under the Belgian Waffle.”

Two of the the twelve injured Silverlake 20-something hipsters are in serious condition, but still hope to make the Shepard Fairey opening tonight. Fairey’s agent, Mary Karnowsky commented, “We can neither confirm nor deny that we have rented an elephant for our reception.”

Full story at

http://www.eblips.net/?p=116