Notes:

Some people may be so bold as to suggest that there is nothing uniquely heinous about this cycle's candidates; that we'd be unhappy no matter who the candidates were. Some might even claim that we seem opposed to the very concept of representative democracy!

Well, they're right! It doesn't matter who runs for president because the root problem isn't with the competitors, it's with the prize. And as long as decision making in this nation is made by a political elite, empowered by an apathetic majority, true democracy will elude us.

So vote for No One! And if that threatens to keep you up all night, questioning your patriotism, you can always vote for Nader - which is pretty much the same as voting for No One!