By 'Tom Paine' (Pain?)



"Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz OKs torture in USA" --Jan 2002 news item



Please torture Dershowitz, not me --

I'll tell you all I know

Of freedom-hating terrorists

And poisoned H2O.

Here's what I'll say without delay

So you can skip the rack

No shock machines:

I'll spill the beans

And never answer back.



I'll finger all conspirators

Turn in my mom and fadda

I'll even point my finger joint

At Alan of al Q'adda.

For might this guy be but a spy?

Is Al our source of trouble?

Could Harvard's hunk be but a skunk

That turned the Tow'rs to rubble?



At first I'm sure he'll claim he's pure,

But truth's not far to seek:

It soon will come right from his lips

Between each curdling shreek!

How long do you suppose it takes

A man whose balls are fryin'

To fess up to the Holocaust

Or Protocols of Zion?



The Inquisition was no peer

For Mossad and Shin Bet

Who've now refined and redesigned

The treatment young Pals get.

So torture Dershowitz, not me;

I choke upon such diet;

And if the Dersh loves torture so

Let him be first to try it!