On May 1, 2003, George Bush claimed victory in Iraq. We don't know what that means to Mr. Bush, but we assume it means something like, "A whole bunch of people who are not me are dead, a lot of places that are not the White House are blowing up, the oil is flowing and no one has found out what's in Dick Cheney's energy papers." There's only one thing missing from this victory, however, (aside from a whole bunch of people that used to be alive, that is), and that's a theme song. No imperialist act of naked aggression should be without a theme song...we are pretty sure it says that somewhere in the PNAC document...so in the spirit of the season, we have decided to give the War Chimp his own tune. One he can hum while he watches the carnage from the safety of his own living room. One that Condi can use to sing him to sleep on those rare nights when Pickles refuses to share her "medication."

The little ditty below was composed entirely by typing in the words "killed Iraq" into the Google search engine, preceded by a number, (for instance "seven killed Iraq"). A few variations on the string were employed for those stubborn numbers like eleven. Substituting "die", "death", "wounded", and "suicide" for the word "killed" was helpful. Of course each incident represents a snap shot in time and is incident-specific. Cumulative totals would have yielded numbers that quite frankly would have been too high to accommodate a "Twelve Days of Christmas" parody, although I have to admit being a little disappointed that I could not work the 18 dead Italians into the mix.

Mr. Bush, (affectionately referred to as "the War Chimp" in our tribute song), has assured us that the world is a safer place now that the twenty-first century Crusades have begun. Judge for yourself.

The Seven Months Since May Day

(to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas")

In the seven months since May Day

The WarChimp gave to me

A whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Four downed Black Hawks

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Five suicides

Four downed Black Hawks

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Six dead Britons

Five suicides

Four downed Black Hawks

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Seven slain Spaniards

Six dead Britons

Five suicides

Four downed Black Hawks

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Eight exploding Jordanians

Seven slain Spaniards

Six dead Britons

Five suicides

Four downed Black Hawks

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Nine friendly fire deaths

Eight exploding Jordanians

Seven slain Spaniards

Six dead Britons

Five suicides

Four downed Black Hawks

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Ten homemade rockets

Nine friendly fire deaths

Eight exploding Jordanians

Seven slain Spaniards

Six dead Britons

Five suicides

Four downed Black Hawks

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.



In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Eleven ambushed Kurds

Ten homemade rockets

Nine friendly fire deaths

Eight exploding Jordanians

Seven slain Spaniards

Six dead Britons

Five suicides

Four downed Black Hawks

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

In the seven months since May Day

The War Chimp gave to me

Twelve dead at the Red Cross

Eleven ambushed Kurds

Ten homemade rockets

Nine friendly fire deaths

Eight exploding Jordanians

Six dead Britons

Seven slain Spaniards

Six dead Britons

Five suicides

Four downed Black Hawks

Three car bombs

Two dead diplomats

And a whole bunch of dead Iraqis.

Thanks Resident Bush. We feel SOOOOOO much safer now!

References/links:

http://falloutshelternews.com/SevenMonthsSinceMayDay.htm