Nov 16, 2003

Governing With All The Keen Skill Of Delta House

DANIEL RUTH

You get a sense that things are deteriorating into ``Hail Freedonia''-like proportions in Iraq when President Bush's administration starts talking about using Afghanistan as a role model for democratic reform.

Wouldn't that be a bit like looking to Jeffrey Dahmer for home entertainment advice?

Geez, Tampa City Councilman John Dingfelder wields more political clout than Hamid Karzai, who rules firmly - with more body armor than Sir Lancelot, protected by Special Forces, the Sixth Fleet, the Strategic Air Command, Rambo and The Untouchables - over his front porch.

Isn't it amazing, and sad, that the only consistent voice with any credibility when it comes to Iraq has been 20-year-old Jessica Lynch, the former Army private who has resisted efforts by the Pentagon to turn her into a Sgt. York of the Persian Gulf?

Nearly 400 U.S. body bags later, the White House is only now concluding that it installed Spanky and Our Gang to run Iraq, led by Ahmad Chalabi, the Dennis Kozlowski of the Sunni Triangle?

Perhaps this is the inevitable, bloody, costly result of engaging in a war with less thought given to an exit strategy than Butch and Sundance pondering their options only after they've been surrounded by the Bolivian army.

So amid the fretting over an ultra- ultra-top-top-secret CIA report that was leaked faster than an Elvis sighting in News Of The World, Iraqi Viceroy Paul Bremer was hastily recalled to Washington for high-level consultations.

But in consulting with the very people who thought the conquest of Iraq would be more of a cakewalk than Cassius Clay dispatching Sonny Liston, Bremer had to feel as if he had been invited to a housewarming party at Tara.



Actual Reading

The CIA report expressed grave concerns that the growing Iraqi resistance might embolden the populace to conclude the U.S.-led coalition might be defeated.

As well, the CIA document suggested efforts at democratic nation-building were at risk of failure unless significant action against insurgent elements could be taken immediately.

Dire? Sure. Bleak? Absolutely. Scary? You bet.

But what could be argued as equally unnerving were reports, first disclosed by The Philadelphia Inquirer, that the reason the CIA memo was so obviously leaked to the news media was the hope that the information somehow would manage to penetrate the ``Everything Is Beautiful'' gatekeepers and actually be read by the commander in chief.

After all, while attacks on U.S. troops are averaging three dozen a day, the president has been running around the country complaining that not enough attention is being paid to all the swell news coming out of Iraq, such as the installation of a $27 million Halliburton stop sign in Fallujah.

Good grief, this is like Chauncey Gardner as leader of the free world.



Film Festival

Meanwhile, the administration - in a sort of Andy Hardy from Hell version of ``Hey, I got an idea, let's put on a war!'' - finds itself scrambling to speed up the transfer of power in Iraq, even if it means transferring power to the Sharks and the Jets.

That's a great idea except for the fact that the leaked CIA memo noted the handpicked crowd making up the Iraqi Governing Council is about as competent to assume leadership as Yogi Bear taking over the National Parks Service.

It seems the Iraqi Governing Council is riven by tribal, ethnic, religious and political differences. In addition, its 25 members often fail to show up for legislative sessions, preoccupied only with issuing proclamations and engaging in nepotism.

Sounds like the U.S. Congress, only without the truck bombs.

Entifadh Qanbar, a flack for Chalabi, told The Associated Press that the characterization of the council as being less effective than the Florida Legislature was unfair considering members had been ``taking part in international events.''

You could make an argument that these folks may be more ready for democracy than we thought. After all, it would seem they clearly grasp the concept of the political junket at public expense.

And thus, although the Iraqi Governing Council has demonstrated all the skills of the Delta fraternity in ``Animal House,'' our White House grows ever more restless to declare democracy and get out.

This is what happens when you ``liberate'' in haste. Body bags start to look like Electoral College votes.



Columnist Daniel Ruth can be reached at (813) 259-7599.

This story can be found at: http://www.tampatrib.com/MGAJ1IXG2ND.html