George W. Bush Resume

====================

Past work experience:

Ran for congress and lost.

Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago

White Sox.

With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments: Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with

Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.

Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as president:

Attacked and took over two countries.

Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.

Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.

Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.

After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.

Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.

Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.

Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.

Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.

Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.

Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.

Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/

Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.

My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Exxon oil

tanker named after her).

First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.

Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

First president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.

Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.

First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.

First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.

Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

Withdrew from the World Court of Law.

Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.



My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.

First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

First US president to establish a secret shadow government.

Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the

biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

First US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for

government contracts.

Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.

Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.

In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of

the United States.

Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.

In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.

Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records and References:

At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).

AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.

Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.

For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for

war-profiteering.)

A BUZZFLASH READER COMMENTARY

Its like living in the land of the insane sheep following the wolf to their own slaughter!

Stop living blind & in denial...

Vote against Bush et al. in 2004.

Peace.

How come Michael Dukakis, an actual military veteran, was mercilessly ridiculed by the press for taking a ride in a tank (which cost the taxpayers nothing) while draft evader Bush got away with having someone fly him onto the deck of a carrier - a stunt that must have cost millions? He is so hated around the world that millions must have said something to the effect of "Where are those World War II Japanese submarines now that we need them?"

Wow. You all are going to be very bummed next year.

I can't wait to see you implde.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa

voting for spongebob.

voting for spongebob.

Your diversion that liberal progressives are angry is tired and no longer holding ground.

We will have inner peace knowing that we did what we could.

Because I will open my mind to all perspectives and you refuse to is the reason you don't see what I see...

http://www.up4peace.com

Anger is easy to when one knows how to direct it intelligently. Perhaps those like me can channel it verbally or artistically. Utilizing it in a chosen context creatively for example...

http://www.trafford.com/robots/02-1277.html

The imploding will be of the country that you allowed to be ruled by imperialist profiteers who did not care and destroyed the country you loved so much while you sat by and criticized others for that which was irrelevant.

I know you are not evil but you refuse to acknowledge that your government is and that is naive.

May you have peace and be blessed.

if your voting for spongebob then... (read the title)

SEE THIS! I'll vote for I want to. You vote for miss PIGGY.

SEE THIS! I'll vote for I want to. You vote for miss PIGGY.

he's a funny guy.

Yo momma is in the picture. Go to BED.

:~)

i had a good laugh there!



take care daveman.

I really could use another golden shower, Seth. That's one huge bladder you have! Hee hee hee!

Say it loud.

Say it proud.

FOUR MORE YEARS.

Would you kindly change my diaper, Simon. It's awfully full and I'm beginning to stink a bit.

Four more years and then 8 years of Condi Rice.

Buckle up you traitorous hounds, it promises to be a VERY long ride.

I still need my diaper changed.

I could use my diaper changed, too.

I'd also like to change my mind. But, I can't change what I don't have.

I wish I had half the mind you have, Noam.

I'm an intellectual lightweight. You're better off getting advise from Bugs Bunny.

How did you know my source? Bugs Bunny is to me as Karl Rove is to Bush.

You'll need to speak up. I don't have the capacity to understand words that are over two letters long. For that reason, I have a young nigger boy who reads what you write and explains to me what you mean. His mouth and ass also comes in handy as my own personal semen drop.

I just lynched a young nigger boy last night.

Mr. Chomsky,

We love your work. You're our kind of man.

Mr. Stalin

Mr. Hitler

Mssrs Stalin & Hitler,

Thank you. You set such high standards for us leftists. I hope at the end of my life I can say as many people were murdered by my words as were murdered by your swords.

I like them Nazis too. I hate coloreds. I'm a conservative guru.

I would kiss you for all you have done to spead lies about Israel, but you are a rotten, filthy Jew.

I understand. As a filthy Jew who hates his own hertiage, I could not help but to spead lies about my filthy Jew brethern. I only regret I did not live in the People's Paradise of Nazi Germany so that I could have turned in my filthy Jew brethern, turned on the showers, and shoved them into the ovens. I deserved the same.

I hates them Jews because Hitler did. Heil Hitler!

Move over Trent. Let me show you how we string them niggers up in West Virginia.

Naaaah. You evolved. You don't do that shit no more. I do, though. I am a conservative.

You tell 'em, Trent! Has anyone seen my teeth?

Evolved nothing. That's what I tell em up on the Hill. I Ain't worried about talkin bout it here. Ain't enough people visit here to make a difference anyway.

I need to talk to ole Noamy. I need a nigger that'll suck me dry and offer up his ass like ole Noamy's got.

I got a nigger that swallows. He also my lawn boy.

I forgot to tell ya this one Trent.

Few nights back, I was back at my home in West Virginia, standing around the town square at night and talkin to some ole friends, when a carload of nigger boys drove up, rolled down their window, and asked "Where do the brothers hang out?" I pointed to the old oak in the middle of town square and said "Last ones hung out in that tree over there". There eyes got so damn wide, theys like 8 flashlights!! It was brighter than the fucking moon! Oh, we got a big kick outta that one.

I'll have to tell that story at the next KKK rally. Strom and I can't wait. I hear that Rick Santorum will be attending.

Bring ole Rick along. I'm bringing George McGovern. Now there's a man that can light a cross. He and ole Jimmy Carter and Ted Kennedy often head out into the woods afterwards and take turns reinacting "Deliverance" on each other. A fun time for all. See ya there.

Me and Ashcroft will be there, too.

I'll be there. Bringing Joe Leiberjew, Dennis Kucinich and Ralph Nader with me. Probably lots of others. We liberals hate niggers.

We conservatives hate niggers even more. Hell, we don't even want them at the University of Michigan!

I hate Muslims. If you're an anti-Muslim cyberterrorist, please visit my website. We need more members.

www.kobehq.com

Sadly, the New York Press has replaced the consistently interesting columnist Christopher Caldwell with someone called Matt Taibbi, who, by his own admission, is not right in the head. "My mental health has not been so good lately," he writes. "I hadn't watched television since the second week of the war, because I was beginning to experience painful headaches and hallucinations."

Well, the first step toward recovery is to acknowledge that you've got a problem. I'm not sure what the second step is, but it's seems to us that Taibbi's isn't it. He describes his hallucinations for all the world to read:

It has become fashionable on the left and in Western Europe to compare the Bush administration to the Nazis. The comparison is not without some superficial merit. . . . But it's way off. It's wishful thinking. The Reich only lasted 12 years. The Soviets reigned for 75. They were better at it than the Nazis, and we're better at it than the Russians. Ask anyone who's lived in a communist country, and he'll tell you: Modern America is deja vu all over again. And if ever there was a Soviet spectacle, it was Bush's speech last week.

Think about it. Huge weapons on display, in foreground and background. The leader who has never fought dressed in full military regalia. Crowds of adoring soldiers and "shock worker" types dressed in colorful costumes, carefully arranged for the cameras. A terrible, excruciatingly dull speech, 20 minutes of incoherent, redundant patriotism (Bush used the words "free" or "freedom" 19 times in an 1800-word speech) and chimpanzoid chest-pounding.

On May Day.

http://nypress.com/16/19/news&columns/cage.cfm

Do you hate niggers?

>>>Do you hate niggers?<<<

Here's a story that's both heartening and discouraging: "U.S. black leaders have failed to get African and Caribbean immigrants to think of themselves as 'black' and have created a rift among the groups, a panel on diversity said yesterday," reports the Washington Times.

The Times quotes William Spriggs of the National Urban League Institute for Opportunity and Equality: "Black politicians . . . haven't been able to get [black immigrants] to buy into what white America is all about, about what white privilege is. Immigrants don't come here with that understanding. We have to change our language to let them know that these are their problems."

In other words, black immigrants are more interested in enjoying opportunity and equality than in wallowing in victimhood. Too bad the same can't be said of "black leaders" like Spriggs.

http://www.washtimes.com/national/20030509-94462182.htm

I guess you do hate them niggers.

The Associated Press reports that the Baltimore Fire Department has suspended two firemen for uttering the what the AP delicately calls "the 'n-word.' " This would seem reasonable enough--we don't want public servants going around using racial slurs--except that a fire department investigation found that the word "was not used to demean or slander anyone":

The two were quoting someone else when they said the word. The quotation was taken from a man who described his rough neighborhood to the fire captain in 1988.

Fire department documents show the fire captain was suspended without pay for 21 days, and a firefighter who simply recounted what happened to the captain was suspended without pay for 14 days.

http://stories.wbal.com/stories/t/news.asp?articleid=9021&zoneid=2

Them guys should be REWARDED for using the word "nigger." What's this world comin' to?

But I've got them niggers fooled these days. Used to be, back when I was in the KKK, we'd just string up their black asses.

Now, I call 'em "constituents" and fool 'em in to voting for me!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm STILL in the KKK. Why did you change, Robert?

Make 'em think you like the niggers. Get 'em to vote for ya. Get them niggers that work at KFC payin' yer salary. Then I can get up there on CSPAN and pitch hissy fits 'bout that stupid Texan thinkin' he's all better-n-us by landing on that ship.

Besides, I ain't got nuthin' better to do. And I don't see you at any of the meetin's

Yeah, ain't it great that them niggers had to pay for that $1 million photo op for Bush?

bwahahahahahahahahaha

They had to pay at least ten timest that when Clinton locked us up in scandal over getting his pee-pee sucked.

Yeah, it was great that them niggers had to pay $40 million for an investigation into a blow job. I likes witch hunts.

Clinton screwed them niggers over, but good. We can always rely on us Democrats to lie. Only thing that is as certain as death and taxes.

Only thing better 'un lying is witch hunts. I don't like it when people get blowjobs. I ain't ever had one.

Witch hunts ain't shit. Where I'm from we hunt niggers. Used to be you could go out to the watermelon fields and shoot til you had yer limit. Now a-days the liberals would get you for baitin' 'em. But screw it. Do what we do when you get caught. Lie your ass off!

If Strom would've won, we's nigger haters would've had it made!

He retired you fucknut. He was as old and crusty as my underwear. Which, BTW is as black as a coon's ass, due to all the dried shit-stains. I refuse to wear them diapers. A man's got his pride, ya know.

I love diapers. Mine are full. Please ask KOBE SBM to change them.

Strom ran for president, you oblivious moron.

Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent. When you get as much pussy as me, you don't wanna risk not being hip.

Two things you can count on. Democrats will lie and they won't wear any diapers.

Oh, yeah. Buy my book.

Buy my book, too. And buy Viagra. I get paid for every pill sold.

"Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent."

That's George H.W. Bush, you assclown.

Of the Klan. Right after I vacated it. And who are YOU calling an impersonator?

Mine was: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

thanks for squaring me away.

"thanks for squaring me away."

I don't have enough time to accomplish that task.

I did. You should really learn the difference between us. He's an old fart ex-KKKlansman that hates niggers. I'm a censured yound stud that enjoys illicit affairs with dumpy young women. Only similarity is that we both lie. Oh yeah, and hate niggers.

You can't hate them niggers any more than me. I don't even want 'em at the University of Michigan.

Used to pick up pecans with one down on the plantation in Georgia. She was mah slave...ahem...maid of course. I like negros. They serve a purpose in any good, white-bred society. And they're not stupid people. One probably coulda thought up some way to get those hostages outta Iran for me. Wish Ida thoughta that befoe.

I gotsa nigger for a housekeeper on my Crawford ranch. I make her scrub mah floors with a toothbrush.

What a vulgar, vulgar man! In this day and age, making a poor black woman submit to menial tasks such as those! Sir, you should be ashamed.

I just make mine scrub my dick for me.

The so called "Compassionate Conservatives"

are o' reilly the "Concentration Camp Conservatives"