03-26-2003

Understanding Neocon-Speak

The minute by minute TV and radio coverage of the war in Iraq includes lots of exciting new vocabulary!  As I enter the terminal leave stage of my career, I only want to go along, get along and do my part to support the prevailing wisdom of war in Iraq.  It's not much of a contribution, but here's the insider/almost-outsider quick reference guide:

 

“Command and coercion”  Term used by Pentagon spokesmen and others to differentiate Saddam’s control of his military machine from the way we control our military machine, a.k.a. “command and control.”  Key part of the PSYOP effort to showcase Saddam as both fear-driven and a little bit insane, so as to differentiate from our own executive leadership.

 

“Humanitarian Aid”  Millions of dollars and tons of stuff Iraqis might get someday if they will just relax and let us liberate them without a struggle.  Sounds like the temporary remorse after date rape, but without the date.

 

“Keep it in perspective”  Repetitive advice, from war advocates Rumsfeld to Rush Limbaugh, explaining that in war people die.  Soon more detailed body counts on the other side will be brought out to give us even more valuable perspective. 

 

“Iraqi Oil Fields”  1) the treasure of the Iraqi people, or alternatively 2) the treasure of U.S. oil and oil services companies who had been cut out for the last 12 years, but now will get theirs.  Except for that 1998 -2000 Halliburton contract with Baghdad, but I guess all definitions have exceptions.

 

“Liberation”  1) Freedom, alternatively; 2) living in your own state, under martial law enforced by another larger and more powerful country, that fought its way in to your capital city in a very small coalition of two or three willing.  For related terms, see “humanitarian aid.”

 

“Perspective”  Valuable object lesson taught to soldiers by folks like Wolfowitz, Feith, Perle, Cheney, Bolton, the entire National Review team, evangelicals who support George W. Bush blindly, and commentators like Newt Gingrich, Charles Krauthammer, Bill Kristol and Rush Limbaugh.  The common denominator and apparently a critical factor for the “correct” perspective, is never having worn a uniform.  Or for that matter, never having to say you’re sorry!

 

“Reality TV”  24 hour coverage of selected exciting bits about people interacting in stressful conflict environments.  Avoids the hard questions of why and what it means, substituting shock and awe.  In case we missed the shock and awe, reporters continually use the phrase to remind us of what we missed when we went for pretzels and beer.   

 

 “Shock and Awe”  Simultaneously the US campaign in Iraq 2003,and the US government campaign to shape domestic consumption of the conflict.  Alt., what we feel looking at the pictures of our POWs on Al Jazeera (and Drudge).  Alt, alt., what neocon civilian war planners felt when they saw Iraqis fighting back and not rushing forward with tiny-highly-paid-consulting-firms-that-will-remain-nameless provided US flags (like in Kuwait 12 years ago).  See also “liberation” above.

 

“Stop Loss”  See “command and coercion” above.

 

“War in Iraq”  $74 billion (just this week, not counting what we already spent or will spend after the $74 billion asked for this week runs out in September) exercise, with a quarter of a million troops in a forward desert location without EPA, Greenpeace or local resident restrictions on live fire and all the latest technologies.  NMTC, eat your heart out!

of NeoCon Speak for Liberation: "Bend over here we come!"

Go fuck yourself, poopyhead.