29 Reasons to attack Iraq

1. Push up the price of oil.

2. Create defense industry jobs.

3. Divert attention from economic problems at home.

4. Divert attention from environmental issues.

5. Good excuse to cut spending on social services to pay for the war.

6. Good excuse to further limit civil rights.

7. Good excuse to drill in the ANWR.

8. Start drilling in national forests and national parks.

9. To get people investing during a time of national panic, reduce the capital gains tax.

10. To continue to keep Reagan and Bush administration papers secret that will implicate daddy Bush in Iran-Contra schemes.

11. Halliburton sold more to Iraq during the 1990’s than any other company in the world. Now let’s bomb it and let Halliburton sell it to them again.

12. Give Pakistan justification to use nukes on India.

13. Give India justification to retaliate.

14. Give the Palestinians justification to attack Israel

15. Give Israel justification to retaliate.

16. Give Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Iraq, and Iran reason to retaliate for Israel retaliating.

17. Speed up Bush’s vision of Armageddon.

18. So Bush can build a new vacation home outside Baghdad.

19. Because we cannot tolerate leaders in office who did not receive a clear majority of votes.

20. Keep Cheney in the bunker.

21. We can't find bin Laden. Maybe we can get Saddam.

22. Divert attention from Bush’s friend Kenny Boy and Enron.

23. Divert attention from Halliburton’s accounting violations.

24. Divert attention from Bush’s illegal Harken insider trading.

25. Divert attention from Bush’s own AWOL military record.

26. Divert attention from Bush’s “family values” drunken daughter, drug addicted niece, Silverado scandal brother, smuggler sister-in-law.

27. Justify "Star Wars" or the "Defense Shield" or whatever they're calling it lately, by destabilizing world politics.

28. To stay in power.

29. So when Iraq is gone, we won't have to distinguish between Iran and Iraq



1. Push up the price of oil.

2. Create defense industry jobs.

3. Divert attention from economic problems at home.

4. Divert attention from environmental issues.

5. Good excuse to cut spending on social services to pay for the war.

6. Good excuse to further limit civil rights.

7. Good excuse to drill in the ANWR.

8. Start drilling in national forests and national parks.

9. To get people investing during a time of national panic, reduce the capital gains tax.

10. To continue to keep Reagan and Bush administration papers secret that will implicate daddy Bush in Iran-Contra schemes.

11. Halliburton sold more to Iraq during the 1990’s than any other company in the world. Now let’s bomb it and let Halliburton sell it to them again.

12. Give Pakistan justification to use nukes on India.

13. Give India justification to retaliate.

14. Give the Palestinians justification to attack Israel

15. Give Israel justification to retaliate.

16. Give Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Iraq, and Iran reason to retaliate for Israel retaliating.

17. Speed up Bush’s vision of Armageddon.

18. So Bush can build a new vacation home outside Baghdad.

19. Because we cannot tolerate leaders in office who did not receive a clear majority of votes.

20. Keep Cheney in the bunker.

21. We can't find bin Laden. Maybe we can get Saddam.

22. Divert attention from Bush’s friend Kenny Boy and Enron.

23. Divert attention from Halliburton’s accounting violations.

24. Divert attention from Bush’s illegal Harken insider trading.

25. Divert attention from Bush’s own AWOL military record.

26. Divert attention from Bush’s “family values” drunken daughter, drug addicted niece, Silverado scandal brother, smuggler sister-in-law.

27. Justify "Star Wars" or the "Defense Shield" or whatever they're calling it lately, by destabilizing world politics.

28. To stay in power.

29. So when Iraq is gone, we won't have to distinguish between Iran and Iraq